How to hold my son back?

[Anonymous]

I am curious about when is the best time to deal with this is. I am certain that I want to hold him back....his b-day is Sept 13, and is currently in a private preschool in the 3 year old class. Come next September, I plan on moving him to a public preschool (according to Fridays lottery we are the next person to get in, if any of the applicants turn it down).

My question is at what grade does he repeat. If I have him repeat the 4 year old preschool class....it seems that all his friends would move up except for him? Or I could wait until Kindergarten and do it then....but same problem.

Of course things could change, and I might feel differently, but right now am wondering.

PLEASE, not looking for people to offer opinions about whether to hold back (or for criticism), simply for when is the best time. I feel that leaving him at the pre-k where he is longer...would actually be best.....because alot of the kids will be leaving anyway.....but cant imagine giving up my precious out of boundary spot at my 2nd choice school.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

how old is he now - 3 or 4?

if he's currently 3, I would have him repeat his 3 yo year. I think the older they get, the harder it is to hold them back.

[Anonymous]

I'd hold him back as young as possible if you're going to.

[Anonymous]

If you can defer accepting the spot off of the waiting list until the following year and keep him at his current preschool, that would be the best option.

When a child is going into a private school, people usually do the extra year at their preschool - to take advantage of the shift in placements as a natural division point.

You really don't want him to go to his ongoing school, whether public or private, and then be perceived to be "held back" there. Too much stigma and the separation from his friends will be painful.

I have a late September birthday dd, but we are going the private route. So it actually ends up the opposite - she will be one of the oldest in her class when she gets to her ongoing school because the private cut-off dates are Aug 31st or Sept 1st.

[Anonymous]

Will the public school let you hold him back if you are the only one who thinks he needs it? I am not trying to argue that he will be ready, but I can imagine that a school is not going to let you indulge yourself on their dime, should he turn out to be socially and academically ready for K on time.

[Anonymous]

OP here. My son is 3.5. turns 4 on September 13th.

Thanks so much for the feedback....yes I figured that it would be best to hold him back now, but honestly this public school slot might be a "once in a lifetime' chance......since our in boundary school, is not even an option for us.

This is a dilemna....any other ideas?

[Anonymous]

I think you're going to have to decide what is most important to you -- the place or the timing. If you send him to the school where you were lucky enough to get a spot, you may not be able to hold him back. If you really want to red-shirt him, you may have to send him to another school.

Are you sure you won't be moving in the next two years? Is this it for you as far as public school availability?