2020: how much paternal leave is your SO taking?
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Anonymous
| I did a search and was reading feedback from 2015. I'd like to hear how currently expecting parents are handling the first few months post-pregnancy in terms of leave. I fear falling into the trap of taking on all the leave while my SO is back to work after 2 weeks - reflecting cultural norms at his company and in general. We are currently discussing various options he could propose to his company without ruffling feathers - WFH is definitely an option on the table. What are you doing? |
Anonymous
|
My husband gets 6 weeks of paid leave. He is taking two weeks up front, and then the remaining 4 weeks after I go back to work (the baby will be 4 months at that point). He works in tech and this isn’t the norm at his company, but he frankly doesn’t care since it is a benefit he is entitled to and it’s important to both of us.
If it were unpaid, he probably would only take two weeks at the beginning, but that’s because we can’t afford to not have his salary. |
Anonymous
| My husband took 3 1/2 weeks. He would have taken longer if he weren’t WFH. |
Anonymous
| 6 weeks paid. He actually could have taken 12 but I kinda wanted him gone (I love my Dh and mean this in a nice way). He was super helpful the first 4 weeks and then he just stared at baby and me and tinkered in the basement. I was getting upset at all his free time. It was more fun anyways to hang at the moms groups and go to mommy and me stroller strides and such. I was breastfeeding, house was immaculate and there wasn’t anything for him to do other than to feed me (which he did). |
Anonymous
| My husband has taken 3 months in the part. We are due soon and he is planning to take 3 weeks. Reason is we have full time help and he's afraid of missing out on work developments due to Covid. For example, if there's a downturn at work, he could lose clients and not get them back. Normally he would take the risk, but right now he's afraid of a recession. |
Anonymous
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DH took one week when DD#1 was born back in 2016, but we had extensive help from family for the first 6 weeks, until I went back to work.
DD#2 was born in May. DH took 3 days. No family help, either, due to the pandemic. He was WFH at the time, but it was still pretty rough. DD#2 is a very easy baby, but DD#1 is very high energy and needs a lot of attention and engagement. He is a fed and got no paid parental leave either time. We tried to manage without him signing PTO. |
Anonymous
| 3 weeks. |
Anonymous
| 3 weeks but pretty much WFH. |
Anonymous
| My husband took 2 weeks (paid paternity leave) right when dd was born last year. He then took a month off when she was 5 months and I went back to work. Same as he did when our oldest was born 4 years ago. Really helped him bond with the baby as she was a little older and more responsive and a clearer schedule. |
Anonymous
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Had a baby this year. Husband’s company has 12 weeks parental leave (gender nonspecific) and he took the full 12 weeks, plus one week of sick leave, so he actually took 13 weeks - one more than I did! Induction took forever, so we had both already used a week of leave when baby was finally born. We then took two more weeks together, then he went back to work (this was slightly pre-covid, so actually back in the office), and I finished up my leave, then when I went back (everyone was remote by then) he took the remainder of his time.
That time when he was primary parent and I was working full time was absolutely critical for his bond with the baby, and his skills and confidence as a parent, and has really set us up to be the kind of egalitarian parents we want to be. We will do the same for the next one, even if he moves companies and has to take his leave unpaid. Even if it wasn’t customary and it hurt his career. Bring an involved, equal parent is that important to him, and to me. We make basically the same amount, FWIW. HHI just shy of $200k. |
Anonymous
| One month but will be available for emergencies. |
Anonymous
Umm he’s a Fed. We get good sick and annual leave. He could have used either sick or annual for the birth of a baby. He took 3 days because he didn’t save it. |
Anonymous
| He took 2 weeks when she was born and 10 weeks once Im back in October. It was really important for him to take the full FMLA time so we saved to allow for this |
Anonymous
| 10 weeks. 2 under partial pay and 8 under the new DC paid leave (also partial pay). |
Anonymous
| 6 weeks sick leave both times (2018 and 2020) |