ES/MS dads with demanding jobs: what do your weekends look like?

[Anonymous]

If you're a dad with elementary or middle school kids, what do you do on the weekend? How much time do you spend working? Playing with or caring for the kids? Doing domestic chores? Spending grownup time with your spouse or friends? Working out? Something else?

It'd be helpful if you described your job fairly specifically, e.g., programmer at a startup, BigLaw litigator, ER doctor, etc.

[Anonymous]

Portfolio manager at an investment management firm.
I usually 4-5 hours per weekend working, and the rest with the family. I also run or work out for an hour daily (45 min plus shower).

[Anonymous]

My spouse is a biglaw partner. Here’s my estimate of what he does on a typical weekend day:
1 hr day gym
1 hr day walk dog
1-5 hours day playing with kids or helping with kids sports (probably more during the sports season)
0 hours with spouse or friends
1-4 hours watching TV, usually sports
0-1 hours chores or errands
2-12 hours working

[Anonymous]

PP, how do you feel about 0 hours with you and 1-4 hours watching tv? I'm being serious; I'm not trolling you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is a biglaw partner. Here’s my estimate of what he does on a typical weekend day:
1 hr day gym
1 hr day walk dog
1-5 hours day playing with kids or helping with kids sports (probably more during the sports season)
0 hours with spouse or friends
1-4 hours watching TV, usually sports
0-1 hours chores or errands
2-12 hours working

That's pretty sad. Why marry or have kids? All he needs is his dog and the gym and a housekeeper.

[Anonymous]

Anesthesiologist/intensivist. Two weekends a month I work as though it’s a normal weekday. Two weekends a month are off.
When I’m off I usually don’t work except to maybe answer an email or discuss something on the phone with a colleague. I try to catch up on sleep, and I usually play tennis with a friend, but otherwise I go to mass and spend time with the family.

[Anonymous]

My DH is biglaw equity partner.

Weekends are almost always entirely about kids and family. He stays active on email for a total of maybe 2 hours over the weekend, and he’ll sometimes do some work while I read before bed for an hour (so another 2-3 hours total).

He and I both also workout for 45 min daily (home gym). When the kids are in bed around 8 we spend time together until 9:30.

[Anonymous]

My husband owns a tech engineering company. He works 7 days a week. He spends 4-6 hours each weekend day.
He gets my daughter up on weekends and gets her ready and makes her breakfast. He takes her to ballet on Saturday mornings and they hang out until I am ready to take over. He works while she is in ballet, then in early afternoon. We do an activity (bike, hike, walk, etc...) mid to late afternoon then Saturday is date night. We go on a picnic or eat outside somewhere. Sundays he works in the AM after getting DD going. Then we have family time after he is done. As busy as he is, and as demanding as his job is he finds balance. It’s a team effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is a biglaw partner. Here’s my estimate of what he does on a typical weekend day:
1 hr day gym
1 hr day walk dog
1-5 hours day playing with kids or helping with kids sports (probably more during the sports season)
0 hours with spouse or friends
1-4 hours watching TV, usually sports
0-1 hours chores or errands
2-12 hours working

What? No sex on the weekend?
What do you do with the 5 hours of free time when he's with the kids? Hobby? Shopping?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband owns a tech engineering company. He works 7 days a week. He spends 4-6 hours each weekend day.
He gets my daughter up on weekends and gets her ready and makes her breakfast. He takes her to ballet on Saturday mornings and they hang out until I am ready to take over. He works while she is in ballet, then in early afternoon. We do an activity (bike, hike, walk, etc...) mid to late afternoon then Saturday is date night. We go on a picnic or eat outside somewhere. Sundays he works in the AM after getting DD going. Then we have family time after he is done. As busy as he is, and as demanding as his job is he finds balance. It’s a team effort.

This reminds me of my dad. He used to take me to ballet practices every week and stay with me for the practice.

[Anonymous]

DH is a busy surgeon. Weekends are entirely spent on our 3 kids.

He takes the kids to all their sports. May run an errand. These days he has been watching more sports - tennis and football. DH also finds home projects to do like change filters, clean gutters, etc. he seems to love going to Home Depot and Best Buy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband owns a tech engineering company. He works 7 days a week. He spends 4-6 hours each weekend day.
He gets my daughter up on weekends and gets her ready and makes her breakfast. He takes her to ballet on Saturday mornings and they hang out until I am ready to take over. He works while she is in ballet, then in early afternoon. We do an activity (bike, hike, walk, etc...) mid to late afternoon then Saturday is date night. We go on a picnic or eat outside somewhere. Sundays he works in the AM after getting DD going. Then we have family time after he is done. As busy as he is, and as demanding as his job is he finds balance. It’s a team effort.

This doesn't seem very balanced to me, but maybe I am missing something. Do you work or do you SAH? From what you have written, it really looks like you do all the child-related work and house chores, which seems like a lot on top of a job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're a dad with elementary or middle school kids, what do you do on the weekend? How much time do you spend working? Playing with or caring for the kids? Doing domestic chores? Spending grownup time with your spouse or friends? Working out? Something else?

It'd be helpful if you described your job fairly specifically, e.g., programmer at a startup, BigLaw litigator, ER doctor, etc.

I'll answer for DH. He and a friend started their own law firm a few years ago. Saturdays are a family day and he answers emails throughout the day. 3 out of 4 Sundays he works in the morning only taking a break to eat breakfast with us. Sunday nights he works for 3-4 hours.

[Anonymous]

DH is a surgeon. He has a primary M-F job and a secondary weekend job that is not local.

He works his weekend job 2-3 weekends per month and we don’t see him at all.

But he is an excellent father and puts his heart and soul into our children. As soon as he gets home during the weekdays, he is doing his own prepared school lessons with our kids. Weekends he isn’t home he connects on the computer with them to read and do lessons.

If I’m out with the kids and he gets home before we are back he will start vacuuming or doing some cleaning that needs to get done.

Sometimes he will walk my oldest up very early in the morning so they can go for a walk/job together before he goes to work.

Yes he works an insane amount, but it is to build our wealth and provide for our children’s’ future. When he is home, he is 100% engaged with enriching activities with them or helping me with something.

I wish he is home more, mainly because he is so good at everything he does with the kids. He is an over achiever for sure.