Big age gap between kids?

[Anonymous]

My first two are 4 years apart. I think I may be expecting #3 (will know for sure later this week) and it’ll be twice that. I’m a little concerned about the logistics of having kids that far apart and also concerned about not just adding a third, but adding a third after so long. Can anyone talk me down?

[Anonymous]

You'll be just fine. My first two are 6 years apart, so not quite 8, but still a large gap. Older girl and younger boy. They adore each other and have a really sweet bond. I myself am 15 years older than my younger brother, and we also have a close bond, though we both sort of grew up as only children. I'm expecting a third, who will be 9 years younger than our oldest. We haven't told her yet, but I know she's going to be over the moon.

I think gaps are somewhat simpler, because the older ones are more independent and self sufficient. They'll still want to play with their baby sibling, so while they aren't close in age and will have their own interests, they'll still have a playmate in the house.

[Anonymous]

Mine are 6.5 years apart. It's mostly fine, and they have a close relationship. Makes picking a movie for family movie night pretty tricky, though, at least until the youngest one gets to be 8 or 9 years old!

[Anonymous]

It will be ok. My two are about 5 years apart and I like to think they both got tons of attention when they were small. I always feel badly when I see women having two kids under the age of 2 or 3. It’s just a lot to handle

[Anonymous]

So anwering as someone with a sibling closer in age and with a larger gap. Growing up my sibling and I with the closer age gap had the tighter bond, naturally as we were going through similia stages. The larger gap was almost like different families yes we loved each other, but she had her own life, in some ways were like her dolls or babies.

As adults were all pretty close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So anwering as someone with a sibling closer in age and with a larger gap. Growing up my sibling and I with the closer age gap had the tighter bond, naturally as we were going through similia stages. The larger gap was almost like different families yes we loved each other, but she had her own life, in some ways were like her dolls or babies.

As adults were all pretty close.

Forgot to add, there wasn't much overlap with family activities either. As babies, we tagged along with the other one, and once we were school age she was in high school and college. SO yes it was cool to see her get dressed up for dates, and sometimes going to her sporting events, but there weren't many coordinated family outings other than the annual trip to see grandparents and a theme park.

[Anonymous]

I have three older siblings, 11, 10, and 6 years older. We are not close, but they are not close to each other either. I think it's just my family.

[Anonymous]

My oldest was 12 and 15 when his two youngest siblings were born. He felt close to them because he attended their births (and cut 4's cord) and spent time with them as babies. THEY felt close to him after he went off to college and we let them visit for siblings weekends (little clunky at first but we worked it out). When he was able to take the youngest ones out by himself and they'd come home all excited they'd had an adventure, which created inside jokes and memories only they shared, they started feeling the bond.

[Anonymous]

We have a 7 year gap between 1 and 2 and a 6 year gap between 2 and 3.

So 15, 8, 2. Love it.

We had 7 years alone with the first. Then 6 years with first two. Then we will have 5 altogether. Then 7 with youngest two. Then 6 more years with the baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest was 12 and 15 when his two youngest siblings were born. He felt close to them because he attended their births (and cut 4's cord) and spent time with them as babies. THEY felt close to him after he went off to college and we let them visit for siblings weekends (little clunky at first but we worked it out). When he was able to take the youngest ones out by himself and they'd come home all excited they'd had an adventure, which created inside jokes and memories only they shared, they started feeling the bond.

There's so much more to sibling closeness than age difference. My DH and is brother are 13 months apart and never talk or see each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My oldest was 12 and 15 when his two youngest siblings were born. He felt close to them because he attended their births (and cut 4's cord) and spent time with them as babies. THEY felt close to him after he went off to college and we let them visit for siblings weekends (little clunky at first but we worked it out). When he was able to take the youngest ones out by himself and they'd come home all excited they'd had an adventure, which created inside jokes and memories only they shared, they started feeling the bond.

There's so much more to sibling closeness than age difference. My DH and is brother are 13 months apart and never talk or see each other.

I am married to a twin and my DH and his twin brother did not become remotely close until their mid-40s when DH's brother almost died. They lived different, separate lives.