Almost two year old not listening
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Anonymous
| My toddler grows a tantrum when we are trying to o somewhere in the car (won’t sit down in seat) and then when we have to leave someplace fun like the park. It’s basically a battle to go anywhere. I try to explain where we are going thinking I’ll get cooperation with the car seat but it doesn’t happen. When leaving the park it’s another battle and i try to explain we will go back again but it doesn’t work. Do I just have to wait this out or is there something I can do? |
Anonymous
| You may have to wait, but if there’s a tantrum about getting in the seat to go somewhere fun then you don’t go to the fun place. You’ll have to force the kid into the seat to go home though. |
Anonymous
| Have you tried countdown and timers.?"Ok we are leaving in 5. I'm setting the timer now. Ok 2 minutes. 1 minute. Minute's almost up. Beep beep beep. Let's go." It's annoying but better than dealing with the tantrum and it sets them up with an expectation. My DS is 5 and I still do this. |
Anonymous
| Agree about the consequences for going there. For leaving, I've been having luck distracting with a small snack. After running around so much, the leaving tantrum was part hanger. |
Anonymous
|
A few tips from a fellow toddler parents:
-- Create a transition ritual. I made up a song that I'd sing with my kid to help end things. We sang it at the end of bathtime, when leaving the park, or when wrapping up playtime to get ready to leave the house or take a nap. The words were just "Goodbye [thing that's ending], thank you for [whatever we like about it]" -- Provide some narration so your kid gets lots of reinforcement about what to expect. Like "We're going to go to the playground and then go home to eat lunch." Then, throughout your time at the playground, say "Ok, we're going to play for 20 more minutes and then time to go home and get lunch." The five minutes. Then time to go. -- If your kid is melting down, it's okay to just pick them up and say "Ok, I know it's hard to say goodbye to the playground, I'm going to help you through it." If they cry, they cry. Once they've stopped crying, you can put them down and ask if they are ready to walk or get in the car or stroller. You might need to hold them for a little while. They might still cry as you put the in the car or stroller. But if you just let them know that you know it's difficult but you are there to help them, they will often calm down enough that you don't have to wrestle them in. -- Do they have a beloved stuffed animal or other toy? When all else fails, I will often say "Do you want to bring stuffy with you" or "Your stuffy is waiting in the car for you" or "Stuffy can't wait to go eat lunch" and that can help. -- When you are truly at the end of your rope, bribe with food. I try to use this as a last resort and keep some granola bars that have chocolate chips in them (a true treat) in my bag for this purpose. But try the other stuff first. I also recommend just reading a few books on toddler development. If your kid is just starting with the meltdowns and refusals, you should know it is not a short phase! I have found it helpful to have as much knowledge and various tools to help me get through! |
Anonymous
| The happiest toddler on the block- book |
Anonymous
| Yup. It's a phase. Power throguh and be nice. Do consequences. Major tantrum means you don't get to go to a fun place. Which sucks for everyone. |
Anonymous
| Follow big.little.feelings on Instagram. Actual helpful tips. One is using the timer on your phone. Explain to your child you need to leave the park, would they like to set a timer for two minutes? We will leave when the timer is done. Then you let them press the start button on the timer and stop the timer when it stops. It works miraculously well at this age. And it’s continued to work with our son, I’m honestly surprised it still does after months of it but we use it for a lot of transitions now if it’s a hard one for him and he continues to really like the control the timer seems to help him feel. The key is you have to confidently hold the boundary if they ever don’t leave with the timer and swiftly pick them up and go. This happen rarely because it honestly works so well but if he starts to hesitate I hold the boundary quickly “sweetie we set the timer and it has gone off so it’s time to get in the car I’m going to pick you up and take you” and I do it immediately. But even then what would normally be a drop down drag out fight without the timer usually he lets me just pick him up. Again, big little feelings on Instagram. Truly helpful for toddler things and I think most kid parent instagrams are... not that helpful. |
Anonymous
| Pp here - look at the highlight “tantrums” on big little feelings page, has the examples. |
Anonymous
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I would read some of these articles:
https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/bothersome-behaviors/temper-tantrums It’s generally a phase. |
Anonymous
Lol not it’s not a phase I have a three year old and this still goes on |
Anonymous
Haha it is a phase it just lasts like three years, hang in there. School will help, which I know might be frustrating to hear right now because your kid might not be able to go to school right now. But it does end! |
jsmith123
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OP I really loved Janet Lansbury's book "No Bad Kids" for this age.
What you're describing is normal behavior for that age group. And it does pass. |
Anonymous
That’s a good one, plus 1, 2, 3 Magic. |
Anonymous
Sucks the worst for the 2-yo who cannot understand “consequences” like this. Read about sequential brain development. Quit setting yourself up for frustration. Just pick up the toddler and go. Sing a song if it helps. Your adult brain can do this. A 2-yo brain cannot. |