Do you go on solo vacations?

[Anonymous]

Spouse and I have different vacation styles. I’m more “rafting in Zimbabwe” while spouse is more “Bahamas cruise” (but would prefer not to travel, especially not overseas - lots of anxiety about being in foreign countries).

One answer I’ve heard is for us to alternate who picks the vacation, but spouse doesn’t want to be stuck watching the kids in a foreign country while I go rafting or whatever, which I understand.

So I thought going on a solo trip once every couple years would be fair, but spouse doesn’t want to be stuck at home taking care of the kids while I’m off having fun. Last year I went out of town for a week for work, and spouse had to fly in their parents to watch the kids because it was too difficult alone.

I get it’s not fair, but I also don’t want to wait 15 years until the kids are gone to go on vacation.

Obviously this isn’t a pressing issue with COVID, but I’m thinking ahead for next year.

[Anonymous]

So let him fly in his parents. It's annoying that he can't handle it on his own, but If it means you get to do your style vacation then I would go. I would also try to figure out a way to compromise because I think vacationing as a family is important

[Anonymous]

Since it sounds like you have young children going off solo for two weeks to pursue your wanderlust would be a non starter for us. I once did a one week cooking school in Italy when our three were very young and the guilt was equal to the fun and I did not do it again. We just vacationed together as a family and found enough things to do so we were all happy. Do your own thing when you are an empty nester.

[Anonymous]

how old are your kids? i’d think once they hit 12 or so you could find an adventurous vacation that they could do and take one or both with you. until then, fly in his parents or have him take the kids to them.

[Anonymous]

My DH often has work commitments and can’t travel. I have traveled with my son on one adventure trip a year. We have been to New Zealand (land of adventure... digging a sand hot tub at hot water beach was a highlight as was heli fishing), Vietnam (biked through rice fields and hiking), South Korea (mainly City adventure), Europe (mix of City and Adventure), Costa Rica (fishing, surfing, zip line), Canada (Vancouver/mountains), Mexico (water adventures and cave exploring) and many places domestically with the highlight probably backing the Grand Canyon. I have taken him since he was six.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we’ve each gone on separate vacations as well as plenty of vacations together as a family. These solo trips are either trips with friends or trips to see family. I think it’s a great way to satisfy everybody’s needs, and time apart can be a very good way to recharge and reconnect with yourself as an individual. How old are your kids that your spouse grudges accommodating this? Is the issue that he or she doesn’t really want to go on a solo vacation and therefore begrudges you the “extra”?

[Anonymous]

Yes, we go solo weekends with friends once or twice a year. I would have never had kids that I can’t leave with DH with. Tell him to get over it and if has to fly in help so be it.

[Anonymous]

I would do a solo trip every few years and then do compromises with family vacations. Maybe the whole trip can’t be white water rafting but at least one day of it or something like that.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we’re open to that option. I’ve gone on trips with friends. I encourage dh to take his friends up on proposals to go to Vegas (because I’m never going) or sports tournaments out of town, etc., but he hasn’t done it yet. He travels quite a bit for work and sometimes adds in a little sightseeing, so he doesn’t get as excited about non family travel opportunities as I do.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

No but I would love to. Maybe not a full vacation, but when my youngest is 6 I plan to do a weekend in NYC or Chicago in the fall and spring every year alone. I'm a SAHM and it would be a nice break to recharge and have some time to get in good shopping, museums, and restuarants.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s a good idea to do it. When your interests diverge that much and a compromise on vacay destinations and styles cannot really be made, I think it’s a good solution to travel alone or with friends. My parents did this. They both love travel but due to my fathers job, he didn’t have as much time off as my mother. She went on at least one big trip a year with her friends and a few over the years solo. Now that he is retired they travel together but this arrangement got them through 2 decades of their relationship before they retired.

[Anonymous]

Without DH yes. Thank goodness I went to Europe in January with my girlfriends because I would be even more miserable if I didn’t get a chance to travel this year.

[Anonymous]

No, we always go together but I do enjoy going with another couple because there are parts of every trip my husband has no interest in (window shopping etc.) and lunch/dinner conversation is always livelier. Solo is also bad in that I've always enjoyed vacation sex in first class hotels....and only with my husband.

[Anonymous]

Of course we vacation solo. Silly not to consider it.