Any suggestions for 3 year old who fights sleep?

[Anonymous]

My 3 year old has always been a terrible sleeper. He fights sleep, even as a baby when we tried to sleep train. He would scream for hours, day after day. Maybe we just should have done the extinction method but he has always been incredibly stubborn and we were never able to sleep train. At the age of 2 he dropped naps. He will fall asleep if we are in the car in the afternoon but we tried just locking him in his room for naps and he would kick the door and scream for two full hours. So we gave up on naps.

Now he goes to bed great but will stay in his room playing, reading, singing, etc for a few hours every night so he doesn’t fall asleep until close to 10 pm. And he wakes up at 6 am.

He is a high energy kid and he gets a lot of exercise and stimulation during the day- no screen time, lots of outdoor time and running around, biking, on his scooter, hiking, running around with a soccer ball- but it’s like he fights sleep tooth and nail. If I let him fall asleep with me, which I very rarely do, he will fall asleep within 20 minutes or so. He has a healthy diet and no processed foods or sugary things.

I think he is just constantly fighting sleep. I’ve tried loveys etc but that hasn’t worked either.

Any suggestions? Or is this just the way he will be?

[Anonymous]

Mine is exactly this way and turned 3 in April. We coslept for a long while while and also always stay with him until he falls asleep. Even then, sleep was hard coming.

BUT - As soon as DS turned 3, we got a 5 pound weighted blanket on Amazon (the ones where the parent reviews suggest this blanket is a miracle). Anyway, it turns out the weighted blanket is a miracle. The first night DS was asleep in 15 minutes, and it has helped a TON ever since. Good luck. My life is much better now!

[Anonymous]

Well, I'm not sure if this will make you feel better, but my DD has always been a decent sleeper and she is also going through the exact same thing at 3. She's always taken a little time to fall asleep for naps or bedtime, but she used to just sit in her bed playing with her stuffed animals and maybe singing to herself. She'd generally fall asleep on her own after about 30 minutes. But now she's getting out of bed and playing with toys and getting out puzzles and musical instruments and only finally passing out at 10 or 11, and then waking up at the same time as usual in the morning.

Our current approach is to go in every 30 minutes or so, encourage her to get back in bed, and suggest she try closing her eyes for a few minutes to see if she falls asleep. That has not worked! We are doing "natural consequences" (if you stay up late you'll be tired) but since she's home with us all day, it really feels like we're the one enduring the consequences at the moment.

Maybe this is just a normal 3 year old phase. Anyone?

[Anonymous]

We use melatonin, a heavy blanket, and let child fall asleep in our room. It’s not the best, but it works. If they won’t stay in room I turn house lights out and make it too boring to stay awake.....then sneak out to be a l o n e.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he really is one of those “short sleepers”. I think it’s a genetic trait and adult short sleepers truly only need four to six hours of sleep a night. Hell for you now but if he is one of that 5% of the population, think of the advantage it will give him in life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3 year old has always been a terrible sleeper. He fights sleep, even as a baby when we tried to sleep train. He would scream for hours, day after day. Maybe we just should have done the extinction method but he has always been incredibly stubborn and we were never able to sleep train. At the age of 2 he dropped naps. He will fall asleep if we are in the car in the afternoon but we tried just locking him in his room for naps and he would kick the door and scream for two full hours. So we gave up on naps.

Now he goes to bed great but will stay in his room playing, reading, singing, etc for a few hours every night so he doesn’t fall asleep until close to 10 pm. And he wakes up at 6 am.

He is a high energy kid and he gets a lot of exercise and stimulation during the day- no screen time, lots of outdoor time and running around, biking, on his scooter, hiking, running around with a soccer ball- but it’s like he fights sleep tooth and nail. If I let him fall asleep with me, which I very rarely do, he will fall asleep within 20 minutes or so. He has a healthy diet and no processed foods or sugary things.

I think he is just constantly fighting sleep. I’ve tried loveys etc but that hasn’t worked either.

Any suggestions? Or is this just the way he will be?

I am glad you gave up on naps, locking a child in his room sounds awful.

I think you have you answer... just let him fall asleep with you. Your other methods are clearly not working, why not actually stick with something that works for your child? Whatever gets your child (and you) more sleep is a winner in my book.

[Anonymous]

I also had a kid who was impossible to sleep train and at the age of 3 would not go to sleep by himself. My other child is an easy sleeper, but for the difficult one, at that age I had to sit in his room until he feel asleep. It usually took 30-40 min.

[Anonymous]

Melatonin. Seriously life changing. I took it starting as a child for 20+ years. My oldest took it from about 2.5-4 and now he is a rock start sleeper. Middle never needed it and youngest takes it now at 2.5, on the advice of the pediatrician. Tired Teddy’s or zarbees cut in half.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Melatonin. Seriously life changing. I took it starting as a child for 20+ years. My oldest took it from about 2.5-4 and now he is a rock start sleeper. Middle never needed it and youngest takes it now at 2.5, on the advice of the pediatrician. Tired Teddy’s or zarbees cut in half.

This is OP. Forgot to mention that we tried melatonin, it had no impact on my kid. Made him sleepier, where he would be yawning more, but it didn’t help him sleep earlier or longer, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I don’t want to get into the habit of having him fall asleep with me because I am working remotely while also parenting during the day and I need to catch up on work in the evening. Also it feels like a bad habit to start- not sustainable?

I have two other kids- a baby and a 6 year old- and they both go to sleep much easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is exactly this way and turned 3 in April. We coslept for a long while while and also always stay with him until he falls asleep. Even then, sleep was hard coming.

BUT - As soon as DS turned 3, we got a 5 pound weighted blanket on Amazon (the ones where the parent reviews suggest this blanket is a miracle). Anyway, it turns out the weighted blanket is a miracle. The first night DS was asleep in 15 minutes, and it has helped a TON ever since. Good luck. My life is much better now!

Ok I will look this up now! Sounds amazing. He’s a restless sleeper so maybe this will help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is exactly this way and turned 3 in April. We coslept for a long while while and also always stay with him until he falls asleep. Even then, sleep was hard coming.

BUT - As soon as DS turned 3, we got a 5 pound weighted blanket on Amazon (the ones where the parent reviews suggest this blanket is a miracle). Anyway, it turns out the weighted blanket is a miracle. The first night DS was asleep in 15 minutes, and it has helped a TON ever since. Good luck. My life is much better now!

Ok I will look this up now! Sounds amazing. He’s a restless sleeper so maybe this will help.

Yes, my 4 year old has been sleeping with her weighted blanket for the past year and loves it!

[Anonymous]

Was it the Sivio brand weighted blanket? 5 pounds for a 3 year old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don’t want to get into the habit of having him fall asleep with me because I am working remotely while also parenting during the day and I need to catch up on work in the evening. Also it feels like a bad habit to start- not sustainable?

I have two other kids- a baby and a 6 year old- and they both go to sleep much easier.

PP who sat in my kid’s room until he fell asleep. I can understand if this isn’t a sacrifice you want to make right now (but for me it was my reading DCUM under a blanket time). Another option is to let him fall asleep in your bed and move him afterward.