Question to experienced K homeschoolers from a virtual learning parent
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Anonymous
| What is a school-related good behavior management or reward system for a kindergartener? Obviously we have our own way of managing behavior normally at home (e.g., count to 3, timeouts, and sometimes me losing my sh!t and yelling if I'm being honest) but I'm looking for something that's more appropriate for a school setting that I can use in real time while I manage my child's distance learning. I want to encourage her to pay attention, stay in her chair, not talk to me, etc. during her zoom sessions. What works for you for this age? |
Anonymous
| For an inappropriately long time on a screen with a group? I don’t know anything that would give you all of the expectations you want. |
Anonymous
Well that's the hand I've been dealt so I'm looking for some strategies. |
Anonymous
Compliment the things she does well. Don't punish her for getting up or doing things that would be behaviorally appropriate if it were a normal year. You realize that normally, she'd be talking to her classmates in school. |
Anonymous
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I'm not an experience K homeschooler, the youngest I've homeschooled is first grade, but I am an experienced homeschooler, and I've also taught Kindergarten, albeit in a self contained special ed class. I am currently teaching special ed in an older grade virtually, while homeschooling 6 kids with the help of several other relatives.
The first thing I'm going to say is that the strategies I use to get my kids to engage in homeschool wouldn't work in a setting where I had no control over the schedule. Some of the things I do that help my kids engage are: I weave what they're interested in into the instruction (e.g. for a kindergarten, I'd pick books on their favorite topics for reading, one of my kids is super into winning so we play a lot of math games, my middle schoolers are studying world religions this year because they asked to) I use a "first then" structure, so first we do something that I picked that they might not love, and then when they finish they know something that they do love or where they have choice is coming. I don't say "if you . . . then you can . . . " any more than I tell my kids "if you wash your hands I'll feed you." I just say "after this we'll . . . " and then I take as long as I need to get through and then we do the fun thing. For my two most difficult kids, I actually do a fun thing first, because it's like they need the reminder that there are fun things in my homeschool every single day. So, they start with fun while I make other kids work, and then after like 15 - 20 minutes we switch and it's a pattern all day. I started homeschooling with short blocks, and a few subjects, and then once they felt successful we added more. So, every day from the beginning they felt successful. See what I mean, about how those things won't work? OK, so here's what I'd do as sort of a combo of Kindergarten teacher and former Kindergarten parent (my kids were in school in K) Understand that it's exhausting. In person would be too. My kids went from PreK to K in the same building, and K was exhausting at first. So plan on afternoons with some exercise, and some snuggles, and time to reconnect, and very few demands. If you usually make your kid as play the piano or clean their room in the afternoon, tell her that she gets a month off, and just move and snuggle and eat her favorite foods and go to bed early. Look for places in the schedule where you can put something fun, or something that fills her bucket so to speak, and then present it as first this, then that. Don't say "if you do a good job", just let her know that something good is coming, and when the class ends do that thing, whatever it is. If they're stopping and suggesting you do some kind of independent work, don't do it then, do the fun thing and then come back to it. Make some kind of visual so your kid knows how the day goes and can see themselves progressing towards done. So draw pictures of each part of her day, including the fun things, and then draw a star next to them when they are over. Not an earning kind of star, not a star if she did good. Just a star or a check mark or a happy face to show that that things is done, so she can see that lunch or playing outside or snuggling with you and reading a book is coming closer. Put her to bed early. Keep your teacher informed if she's struggling a nonjudgmental way. We, teachers, did not choose this. Despite what DCUM tells you teachers did not cause the pandemic, they do not have the power to close schools, and the ECE teachers certainly didn't design this schedule. So, send an email that says "Hey, thank you so much for your effort to make the day fun. I really liked when you you . . . I wanted to let you know that the schedule is long for her (I'm sure it is for you too). She's trying her hardest, but she's tired. Do you have suggestions? Are there parts that are optional?" That way A) She might have really good suggestions and B) When her principal asks what feedback she's getting she has some to share. I'll also say that if your kid is in their local public school, and not a private, or charter, or OOB school, or specialized program where you can lose your spot, I'd think about pulling to homeschool this year or semester. I'm a teacher, and a parent who pulled my kids because of medical reasons. I believe in school, and I think that we can make DL work reasonably well. But there's no doubt in my mind that a parent can do homeschool better in this situation. If you're not working, you can make wonderful plans with her, and if you are working, it's going to be much easier to help her do fun things that you set up and then get back to work, and spend 30 minutes 4 days a week on each of reading and math. (Maybe do both on the weekends, and alternate on the weekdays, that's the sort of thing we do). |
Anonymous
This is the teacher/HS mom here. Don't teach her not to talk to you, teach her to mute her mic. Snuggle up close, let her attend K on your lap if she wants. Turn off the mic and let her answer every question the teacher asks and tell her how wonderfully smart she is, and then turn on the mic when it's her turn to speak. Kids learn through language. And they learn when it's active not passive. So, let her talk and talk. |
Anonymous
| Get her a yoga ball to sit on. That way she can move around a bit while having to sit. My child was in OT and did all his seat work on a yoga ball. |
Anonymous
Sped teacher/HSer here I love the idea of yoga balls, but in my experience, if you put a kid on a yoga ball and aren't right there, then they will stand up and stretch and the ball will roll away. When yoga balls first became a thing, I spent a lot of time chasing stray balls in my classroom! In my opinion, they work better if you have an adult 1:1 with the child, like in OT. So, they might be perfect for OP if she's not also trying to work at a different computer or chase a toddler or something. I know that we have a six year old in our homeschool this year, and I wouldn't be able to stay with her all the time. Here are some things that do approximately the same thing and don't roll away, except the first one which is just a yoga ball with eyeballs. The cushion at the bottom is a good cheap option, the other ones that I've tried on that list (haven't tried them all, but I've tried a lot) are good too, the cushion is just cheaper. https://vurni.com/active-sitting-chairs-stools-for-kids/ |
Anonymous
“ I want to encourage her to pay attention, stay in her chair, not talk to me” Those are not age-appropriate expectations, especially with the inability to look at peers to match good behavior. That’s precisely why I responded the way I did. DL is not a good thing for any pre-K or k, and it’s only slightly better for first. By second, your expectations are reasonable. |
Anonymous
Uhhhh, with? This js a 5 year old! I work and talk through my 5th graders lessons ALL DAY LONG. Even at 10 he has about a 30-45min attention span depending on the topic. We do recess for q5 min between each lesson. It is 845am right now and he's on a bike ride. He always comes to "school " sweaty and with some of that energy burned off so he can focus. You might want to reset your expectations |
Anonymous
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Give her something to fidget with to keep her hands busy. Don’t make her sit in a chair. Let her stand, sit on the floor, whatever, as long as she is listening.
Give her a break from the screen when she needs it. |
Anonymous
Nothing will work for this age because it is not developmentally appropriate for a young child to sit on the computer for that long. There is a reason that experts have called for a cap on screen time for many years. Looking at a screen and being lectured is not how young children learn. She will never retain what's being lectured to her on the screen. All you will do is create a child who associates school with bad things. Homeschool or look for a private preschool with an in-person K program. |
Anonymous
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I agree with the above. Distance Learning with the school system centers around the assumption a parent or adult will be present and next to a K-2nd grader to talk to them, help them focus and engage while the lessons are going on. It's a poor and ridiculous overstep by the school system, but it was made nonetheless assuming most parents would be accommodating for that age group.
5 hours is too long to be an adult for a 5 year old. You can do your best to help with a point system, fidget toys and even have your child on an exercise bike or with another screen next to her that she can doodle on. I can't sit that long without a stretch break or something else to do. I can't imagine kindergarten trying. |
Anonymous
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I’m a homeschooler and this is literally the opposite of how homeschooling works. I encourage her to be comfortable. We are at *home*. Wear your pajamas, do your math on the couch... or in your treehouse. Who cares? We have discussions all day long...
Most homeschoolers believe in connection over curriculum. Meaning, your relationship with your child is your #1 priority and everything else falls into place when that relationship is well nurtured. Virtual learning is not homeschooling. Not even close. |
Anonymous
This! I have twin k and a 4th grader this year. 2/3 have been wearing pjs for the last two weeks, and the third is wearing princess dress up gowns. They sit wherever they want, except for handwriting practice (I want them to have proper posture and arm position for handwriting, so it has to be at a table). One of my k is practicing rote counting while jumping on the trampoline. My 4th grader uses a standing desk and the treadmill on a slow walk while she reads. The other k hangs off the couch with her head next to my foot while I read, or she’s crawling over the back and accidentally elbowing my ear when we’re doing subtraction word problems orally (to her, it’s just telling stories, so there’s no reason to hold still and think it out). I love homeschooling. Even if I hated it, it would be better to give a k child an extra year of play instead of forcing zoom for hours, especially without an adult in person to help. |