Making doctors appointments

[Anonymous]

We’ve had this disagreement in the past where I refuse to make my husbands doctors appointments. 1, because it’s logistically hard not knowing his schedule and 2, he’s an adult and a man and has health issues so it seems silly to be the wife making these appointments and answering questions about his body. I make my appointments and all kids appointments. Even when in labor I called the doctor myself to talk about progression and didn’t ask him to do it.

Today he discovers a toothache/filling issue and tells me about it when he gets home. He then asks me to call the dentist for him. I refuse and he gets pissed. He’s refused to go to the dentist for regular cleanings for years so now I see this as an issue that could have been prevented. But, he’s literally sitting right next to me and yet he wants me to pick up the phone and call them? He gives in and calls and of course, they ask many questions about the pain and location and then discuss the schedule. After, I told him it’s ridiculous for me to have been making the call and asking him these questions and responding back to them on the phone.

How does everyone else work this out? Am I being a mean disagreeable wife?

[Anonymous]

Wut?

I’ve never once done this for my husband.

[Anonymous]

I usually make the appointments but recently stopped because of the schedule issue. Just make the appointment.

[Anonymous]

Marriage is a partnership. Ideally, you support each other. For whatever reason, your dh has a problem with scheduling appointments. You know this. He is your husband, why didn't you make sure he got his cleanings and check ups? Do you care if he become incapacitated or worse from neglected medical and dental issues. Is your need to be right stronger than your desire for him to be healthy. Just make the fin appointments or dump him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is a partnership. Ideally, you support each other. For whatever reason, your dh has a problem with scheduling appointments. You know this. He is your husband, why didn't you make sure he got his cleanings and check ups? Do you care if he become incapacitated or worse from neglected medical and dental issues. Is your need to be right stronger than your desire for him to be healthy. Just make the fin appointments or dump him.

I have tried to get him to do regular cleanings. I’ve offered to add him to my appointments when I’m there and making my next one. I can’t force him. He is good about his regular medical stuff. For the most part. He needs reminders but there is only so much I can do to get a grown man to go to the dentist.

[Anonymous]

I've never made any sort of appointment for my husband. He is the one being unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never made an appointment for my husband and we’ve been married for 20 years.

[Anonymous]

My husband hates to talk on the phone. He’s on the spectrum. It’s a real thing. I schedule appointments when it can only be done by phone, but only if I know his availability. I wouldn’t do it blindly. He handles scheduling appointments that can be made online or in person.

I hate the sound of dental drills and flying bugs. He takes the kids to those appointments and deals with moths when they get too close. He also handles eye drops whenever the kids need them, because other people’s eyes squick me out. We’re a team, we try to support each other by doing the things we do well and picking up things the other doesn’t like.

[Anonymous]

It's never unreasonable to expect an adult to behave like an adult.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never made an appointment for DW. She has never made one for me. This kind of adulting should be easy.

And btw, I make all the kid doctor appointments, which I do not regard as remarkable, just parenting 101.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband hates to talk on the phone. He’s on the spectrum. It’s a real thing. I schedule appointments when it can only be done by phone, but only if I know his availability. I wouldn’t do it blindly. He handles scheduling appointments that can be made online or in person.

I hate the sound of dental drills and flying bugs. He takes the kids to those appointments and deals with moths when they get too close. He also handles eye drops whenever the kids need them, because other people’s eyes squick me out. We’re a team, we try to support each other by doing the things we do well and picking up things the other doesn’t like.

Not at all the scenario OP describes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never made an appointment for DW. She has never made one for me. This kind of adulting should be easy.

And btw, I make all the kid doctor appointments, which I do not regard as remarkable, just parenting 101.

I think we can just end the thread right now.

[Anonymous]

He is ridiculous. I am sorry, OP. No, you do not need to make his appointments for him. That is insane.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is unreasonable. He needs to answer questions and he knows his schedule best. Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Ok. Thank you. I am a SAHM for the most part, sometimes part time worker yet I do a lot around here and I do a lot for him. But I guess I found one thing I want to draw the line at. FWIW I hate making phone calls and appointments and he knows this but I feel like he was just being lazy.