Yom Kippur break-the-fast during a pandemic

[Anonymous]

Looking for ideas on how to safely do some sort of break-the-fast celebration with extended family. And, I know we may just decide not to do anything but am thinking about and looking for ideas. We typically host our local extended family and friends (varies between 25-40 including a bunch of kids under age 8) for a break-the-fast meal. It is very casual and there are varying levels of fasting in our group. We typically start with a bunch of appetizers and then move to a dairy meal once all or almost everyone have arrived. We obviously will not host anything inside our house this year so am looking for outdoor ideas. We are in the Midwest with a large yard and driveway. That being said, I am not comfortable hosting and seating that large of a group. I could also shorten the guest list but that there is really no good way to do that to avoid hurt feelings.

One idea I have thought of is to prepare small “to go” boxes for each person (maybe separate ones for kids) and put a few things in each one. We could set up outside with a limited number of chairs (set up in small groups) and invite people to stop by in a sort of “open house” type event, chat for a bit, and take a to-go box with them. We would require masks. However, I worry about some particularly chatty relatives staying too long and then ending up with too many people.

I would love any other thoughts as well as ideas for things we could include in the to-go boxes (that are ok outside for a bit as it could be hot, cold, or rainy). I thought of a bagel and a small container of cream cheese, and some sort of cookie or treat but not sure what else to include.

Thank you. Note - I am a planner by nature, and love hosting parties, so while this may be a little early, I am thinking about it and it gives me something to focus on other than work.

[Anonymous]

Main problem that I see is that when I get to break the fast.. I do not wish to sit and chat for a while. I want to eat! Especially, as I'm also in a group that has various levels of fasting, as, as someone who fasts strictly, I find that people who haven't fasted I would not invite more people that you are comfortable seating and eating simultaneously, as some people will be happy with to go boxes, and some will not.

[Anonymous]

I think your best bet is that you have people come pick up pre-packaged food and stagger the times, which frankly, doesn't really sound worth attending or hosting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Main problem that I see is that when I get to break the fast.. I do not wish to sit and chat for a while. I want to eat! Especially, as I'm also in a group that has various levels of fasting, as, as someone who fasts strictly, I find that people who haven't fasted I would not invite more people that you are comfortable seating and eating simultaneously, as some people will be happy with to go boxes, and some will not.

Sorry, got interrupted while editing and lost train of thought (I must be hungry)

Anyhow, I was saying, in a mixed group of fasters and non-fasters, I find the non-fasters can be a little clueless about the fact that some of us want to actually sit down and eat and chat later! This works fine when I can hit the buffet or grab apps and then catch up with Aunt Sally later. This would not work well if I were holding my to go box, or eating in one of the few distanced chair and Aunt Sally was hanging around so she could chat with me after I finished.

Break the fast just doesn't sound like a great set-up for a distanced gathering.

Do you have to do break the fast or could you do Kol Nidre dinner? That sounds better to me, as people really want to get in, eat, and get off to services. If you have a group like ours where people are headed to different events, you could easily stagger.

[Jkirsh64]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Main problem that I see is that when I get to break the fast.. I do not wish to sit and chat for a while. I want to eat! Especially, as I'm also in a group that has various levels of fasting, as, as someone who fasts strictly, I find that people who haven't fasted I would not invite more people that you are comfortable seating and eating simultaneously, as some people will be happy with to go boxes, and some will not.

Sorry, got interrupted while editing and lost train of thought (I must be hungry)

Anyhow, I was saying, in a mixed group of fasters and non-fasters, I find the non-fasters can be a little clueless about the fact that some of us want to actually sit down and eat and chat later! This works fine when I can hit the buffet or grab apps and then catch up with Aunt Sally later. This would not work well if I were holding my to go box, or eating in one of the few distanced chair and Aunt Sally was hanging around so she could chat with me after I finished.

Break the fast just doesn't sound like a great set-up for a distanced gathering.

Do you have to do break the fast or could you do Kol Nidre dinner? That sounds better to me, as people really want to get in, eat, and get off to services. If you have a group like ours where people are headed to different events, you could easily stagger.

I agree and that is why I am struggling with it. It just doesn’t seem to lend itself to a safe outdoor gathering. Break-fast is the meal we have always hosted. We have another relative hosting a small Rosh Hashanah outdoor dinner and that one seems doable.

[Anonymous]

Or - you could just do something for sukkot - which lends itself more to an outdoor gathering.

[Jkirsh64]

Anonymous wrote:Or - you could just do something for sukkot - which lends itself more to an outdoor gathering.

Possible. But then of course, we might have to build a Sukkah. . And we still have the problem (normally a good problem to have) of lots of in-town family that we are close with. But....you are correct that Sukkot might lend itself to an open house style celebration better than Yom Kippur. Might be a very good idea! Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Jkirsh64 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or - you could just do something for sukkot - which lends itself more to an outdoor gathering.

Possible. But then of course, we might have to build a Sukkah. . And we still have the problem (normally a good problem to have) of lots of in-town family that we are close with. But....you are correct that Sukkot might lend itself to an open house style celebration better than Yom Kippur. Might be a very good idea! Thanks!

Last year, we hired Task Rabbit to put our sukkah together. Some engineering student deep on the spectrum put it together in like 20 minutes. Money well spent -taking it apart is infinitely easier and said family can assist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Main problem that I see is that when I get to break the fast.. I do not wish to sit and chat for a while. I want to eat! Especially, as I'm also in a group that has various levels of fasting, as, as someone who fasts strictly, I find that people who haven't fasted I would not invite more people that you are comfortable seating and eating simultaneously, as some people will be happy with to go boxes, and some will not.

Sorry, got interrupted while editing and lost train of thought (I must be hungry)

Anyhow, I was saying, in a mixed group of fasters and non-fasters, I find the non-fasters can be a little clueless about the fact that some of us want to actually sit down and eat and chat later! This works fine when I can hit the buffet or grab apps and then catch up with Aunt Sally later. This would not work well if I were holding my to go box, or eating in one of the few distanced chair and Aunt Sally was hanging around so she could chat with me after I finished.

Break the fast just doesn't sound like a great set-up for a distanced gathering.

Do you have to do break the fast or could you do Kol Nidre dinner? That sounds better to me, as people really want to get in, eat, and get off to services. If you have a group like ours where people are headed to different events, you could easily stagger.

No services to go to this year unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

This doesn't sound worth it. Most likely everything will break down and you'll all be breathing on each other within an hour.

Everyone is sacrificing. I think you can probably let go of spending quality time with family for most holidays through 2021. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Main problem that I see is that when I get to break the fast.. I do not wish to sit and chat for a while. I want to eat! Especially, as I'm also in a group that has various levels of fasting, as, as someone who fasts strictly, I find that people who haven't fasted I would not invite more people that you are comfortable seating and eating simultaneously, as some people will be happy with to go boxes, and some will not.

Sorry, got interrupted while editing and lost train of thought (I must be hungry)

Anyhow, I was saying, in a mixed group of fasters and non-fasters, I find the non-fasters can be a little clueless about the fact that some of us want to actually sit down and eat and chat later! This works fine when I can hit the buffet or grab apps and then catch up with Aunt Sally later. This would not work well if I were holding my to go box, or eating in one of the few distanced chair and Aunt Sally was hanging around so she could chat with me after I finished.

Break the fast just doesn't sound like a great set-up for a distanced gathering.

Do you have to do break the fast or could you do Kol Nidre dinner? That sounds better to me, as people really want to get in, eat, and get off to services. If you have a group like ours where people are headed to different events, you could easily stagger.

No services to go to this year unfortunately.

Ours are live/virtual...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Jkirsh64 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or - you could just do something for sukkot - which lends itself more to an outdoor gathering.

Possible. But then of course, we might have to build a Sukkah. . And we still have the problem (normally a good problem to have) of lots of in-town family that we are close with. But....you are correct that Sukkot might lend itself to an open house style celebration better than Yom Kippur. Might be a very good idea! Thanks!

Last year, we hired Task Rabbit to put our sukkah together. Some engineering student deep on the spectrum put it together in like 20 minutes. Money well spent -taking it apart is infinitely easier and said family can assist.

Was that really necessary? I would think that you might want to refrain from putting down and othering people who are different from you who assist you with your religious celebration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Jkirsh64 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or - you could just do something for sukkot - which lends itself more to an outdoor gathering.

Possible. But then of course, we might have to build a Sukkah. . And we still have the problem (normally a good problem to have) of lots of in-town family that we are close with. But....you are correct that Sukkot might lend itself to an open house style celebration better than Yom Kippur. Might be a very good idea! Thanks!

Last year, we hired Task Rabbit to put our sukkah together. Some engineering student deep on the spectrum put it together in like 20 minutes. Money well spent -taking it apart is infinitely easier and said family can assist.

Was that really necessary? I would think that you might want to refrain from putting down and othering people who are different from you who assist you with your religious celebration.

FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Jkirsh64 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or - you could just do something for sukkot - which lends itself more to an outdoor gathering.

Possible. But then of course, we might have to build a Sukkah. . And we still have the problem (normally a good problem to have) of lots of in-town family that we are close with. But....you are correct that Sukkot might lend itself to an open house style celebration better than Yom Kippur. Might be a very good idea! Thanks!

Last year, we hired Task Rabbit to put our sukkah together. Some engineering student deep on the spectrum put it together in like 20 minutes. Money well spent -taking it apart is infinitely easier and said family can assist.

Was that really necessary? I would think that you might want to refrain from putting down and othering people who are different from you who assist you with your religious celebration.

FFS.

Oh I see, so you are just doing the religious stuff for show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Jkirsh64 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or - you could just do something for sukkot - which lends itself more to an outdoor gathering.

Possible. But then of course, we might have to build a Sukkah. . And we still have the problem (normally a good problem to have) of lots of in-town family that we are close with. But....you are correct that Sukkot might lend itself to an open house style celebration better than Yom Kippur. Might be a very good idea! Thanks!

Last year, we hired Task Rabbit to put our sukkah together. Some engineering student deep on the spectrum put it together in like 20 minutes. Money well spent -taking it apart is infinitely easier and said family can assist.

Was that really necessary? I would think that you might want to refrain from putting down and othering people who are different from you who assist you with your religious celebration.

FFS.

Oh I see, so you are just doing the religious stuff for show.

You stare hillarious, shecky.