Is A Year Too Early?
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Anonymous
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Is a year too early to get married? If both are mid-to-late thirties? My girlfriend ( 35) and I ( 37) have been together a year. We do not live together but she is always over and will move in with me once her lease is up at the end of the year.
I feel like she is the one and want to propose but I worry it’s too soon? |
Anonymous
| No, not too soon. Pretty common at your age to date just a year before getting married. |
Anonymous
| Not too soon, especially if you want kids. |
Anonymous
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This is something you need to discuss with your girlfriend.
But she's probably assuming you''ll at least be engaged by the end of the year since she's already comitted to moving in with you. |
Anonymous
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Nope, you should know each other well enough.
If you're not sure, you should take a break. I always advise people, especially women, not to give up their own place until they're engaged. So: get engaged, move in, sign up for premarital counseling (religious or not), and get those wedding plans going! |
Anonymous
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Not at your ages! You have most likely done undergrad and grad school, have careers launched, established friendships, travelled, lived with roommates.... you should know if this is what you both want in life and partner by now.
My story only one example but my dh and I were engaged almost exactly at the one year mark when we were both 31. |
Anonymous
| I would wait until you’ve lived together for a bit. DH and I were pretty sure we were going to get married, and we moved in together in May of 2015, got engaged in Jan 2016 and then married in May 2016 (super simple wedding). I’m glad we waited to get engaged after living together. |
Anonymous
OP here. We don’t live together but she spends most weeks and weekends at my place. It’s like we’re living together. She is rarely at her place. |
Anonymous
| No. |
Anonymous
Have you two discussed marriage? |
Anonymous
| That actually seems perfect. If you were mid-20s I’d say wait and see, but by mid-30s you should have a much better idea of who you are and what you need in a relationship. Congrats, OP! |
Anonymous
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My parents met on a blind date and married 8 months later, without ever having lived together. They’ve been married over 50 years and are still lovebirds.
My husband and I dated for 3 1/2 years before we moved in together, then got engaged 1 1/2 years later, then got married another year and a half later. By the time we had kids, we’d been together for over 14 years. Our marriage ended a decade later. All you can do is to do what feels right to you. |
Anonymous
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For me it's not the year that's a concern.
It's the fact that you seem to have no idea, how your girlfriend feels about this. You should know if she would say yes to you are not. Generally speaking engaements aren't surprises, |
Anonymous
| Engaged after 1 year, married about 14 months later, married 23.4 months now. A year is fine... |
Anonymous
OP here. That’s not what I meant. I know my girlfriend wants to get married and will say yes. I was asking if it’s too fast and rushing it. |