Do other kids do this?
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Anonymous
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When I correct and am firm/stern with my 5 year old, he says, “I’m going to tell —- about you!” Sometimes he’s threatening to tell the neighbors or his babysitter or some other kid’s parent. It doesn’t happen very often but this morning he said it for what is probably the 10th time this summer. It feels like he’d say to another child and so is incredibly disrespectful. It makes me feel like I need to rethink my approach to parenting. Is this just something kids say? Is it a phase? Or is it a huge red flag?
FWIW—I think he has complained about me to a certain parent in our neighborhood. I’m not overly concerned about this. I am not a harsh parent and I think anyone whose opinion matters can figure that out. |
Anonymous
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Take the power away and say, "Ok. Please do tell about me."
My 5 year old doesn't do this, but I don't think it would be wildly out of character. |
Anonymous
| OP here— my goodness I made a lot of errors typing my previous message. I’m not drunk—it’s just been a long day. |
Anonymous
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Sounds normal to me. When my 6 yo is upset with me, he says he's going to put me in time out, or he tells me that I am not following the rules, and if I don't do X before he counts to 3.....
Wishful thinking about who's in charge? 
Kids say things like that when they're upset. I just try to stay calm, and say I'm the adult and I make the rules. You are going to do X now. When you are an adult, you can make your own rules, but right now you are a kid. |
Anonymous
It doesn't seem like a huge red flag to me. My four-year old imitates my discipline when she's upset with me. The other day she told me she "needed to talk about my behavior." She definitely threatens to call stuffed animals mommies when they misbehave, although she's never done that to me. I assume she picked that line up from daycare. |
Anonymous
I agree. I think I have even told older kids some version of, “do you really think foster care is going to be better than living here?” |
Anonymous
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I got uninvited to future birthday parties.
Just say ok, OP. That’s like the worst threat he can think of, it’s kind of cute, really. |
Anonymous
| Totally normal. I don't know how many times Santa has heard about my bad behavior. |
Anonymous
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“Sounds good” “ok” “you do that, let me know what they say!”
Be confident in your discipline choices—kids sense when you aren’t and try to wear you down. The more calm you are, the better. Don’t react to their little missives—they’ll learn to do it again if they sense a reaction. |
Anonymous
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Totally normal. He doesn’t know about CPS, etc - he is just parroting what people tell him.
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Anonymous
| Ha! So normal. I used to tell on my mother to HER mother. |
Anonymous
A 5 year old doesn't know what foster care is. Don't do that to them. You aren't 5 and you need to ack like the adult. Its ok to say, if you feel you need to, go ahead. But don't threaten them with foster care. |
Anonymous
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I once sent my five year old up to his room, and a few minutes later had a knock on the door from a neighbor/friend. Apparently, my son had opened the window and was calling through the screen for someone to help him. His mother had LOCKED him away with no food or water.
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Anonymous
| Implement Planned ignoring. |
Anonymous
 Sorry to laugh at your pain, but thanks for sharing!
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