Potty-trained refuses to sit on the potty, says it's boring

[Anonymous]

Now, he's starting to have poop accidents at camp or is having a lot of close calls with us because he's waiting until the last minute. He didn't have this problem previously. Books, games, even short videos won't work, because it's boring. He's being extra resistant these days and it's clearly a control thing. Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

How old is he?

How much screens does he get when he’s home? I ask because I feel that attention spans get shorter when a kid is allowed a screen any time that they’re bored. I see it with my own kids, I’m not being sanctimonious about it. But when we see it happening, we reign in the screen availability more. You might want to cut off the tablet for a week and see if that helps.

[Anonymous]

Sticker chart

[Anonymous]

Oops, I meant to say he just turned 4!

[Anonymous]

Screen time is limited, especially on days when they are at camp. His go-to complaint about everything is that "it's boring." Even some you tube videos are boring to him.

I feel badly for all those (including us) who need to clean him up. I try not to make a big deal about it, but it's frustrating because this wasn't an issue when he was at school before March.

[Anonymous]

When my dd was that age, she was potty trained but would also wait too long to get to the bathroom in time. She had major fomo.

I made cleaning up as uncomfortable as possible for her. I used lukewarm water to wash her (which she hated), she had to wash out her own underwear and wipe up anything on the floor. She hated the entire process but it was a consequence she understood and hated. I think it helped.

[Anonymous]

Is he having pee accidents as well? Or just poop?

It sounds to me like it might be a constipation issue.

[Anonymous]

It's just poop and he's on a miralax regime to keep things regular. But he keeps holding it in, which is probably causing constipation.

He's my second child. I've been down this road before, but at least my older one loved to sit on the potty and read. This one just refuses. I tell him that's he in control of his body and it's his responsibility to tell an adult when he needs to go at camp. But message is just not getting through.

He's a lot like shit break from american pie. I think part of it is that he prefers to go at home, but only when it's ready to come out and not a moment sooner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my dd was that age, she was potty trained but would also wait too long to get to the bathroom in time. She had major fomo.

I made cleaning up as uncomfortable as possible for her. I used lukewarm water to wash her (which she hated), she had to wash out her own underwear and wipe up anything on the floor. She hated the entire process but it was a consequence she understood and hated. I think it helped.

+1. Remaining completely neutral, I made the clean up procedure take five times longer than a trip to the potty would have been. It involved a shower, complete undressing and redressing, doing his own laundry (clothes into the washer or soaking bucket for poop accidents) cleaning the floor. All with absolutely no expression or conversation from me). Now that was boring! I framed it as “this is just what we have to do”.

He had TWO accidents after that and I never mentioned his using the potty except as part of the routine when we left the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Screen time is limited, especially on days when they are at camp. His go-to complaint about everything is that "it's boring." Even some you tube videos are boring to him.

I feel badly for all those (including us) who need to clean him up. I try not to make a big deal about it, but it's frustrating because this wasn't an issue when he was at school before March.

Why not make a big deal about it? Especially since it sounds like he's capable and just stalling. One of the PPs mentioned making cleaning up long and uncomfortable for him. That's a good idea. My kid tends to hold her poop because she doesn't like pooping in the potty. She pooped in the tub one day and I was so mad and I told her so. I told her that she needs to poop in the potty and that it's not acceptable to poop in the tub. That mommy was disappointed in her and daddy was going to finish her nighttime routine because mommy was mad and also I needed to clean up the poop in the tub that she should have put in the potty. She hasn't done it again.

[Anonymous]

Either making a big deal about it, or being neutral, the result has been the same. The accidents have been too much and I now need to pull him from camp. It's frustrating because he had very few accidents pre-covid.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you could look at adjusting the miralax. Try some yourself for a few days and see how the “process” feels in comparison with “unassisted.” He’s probably bored because you’re making demands when his body isn’t ready, and then things come fast and unexpectedly as the laxative kicks in.

And shame on the parents making things unnecessarily unpleasant for a child with no power in the relationship.

[Anonymous]

The miralax was recommend by our pediatrician and it's not a stimulant. Maybe you should read up on it instead of judging me. Miralax just draws more water into the colon. It's not like ex-lax.

Maybe you should do some research instead of shaming other parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my dd was that age, she was potty trained but would also wait too long to get to the bathroom in time. She had major fomo.

I made cleaning up as uncomfortable as possible for her. I used lukewarm water to wash her (which she hated), she had to wash out her own underwear and wipe up anything on the floor. She hated the entire process but it was a consequence she understood and hated. I think it helped.

+1. Remaining completely neutral, I made the clean up procedure take five times longer than a trip to the potty would have been. It involved a shower, complete undressing and redressing, doing his own laundry (clothes into the washer or soaking bucket for poop accidents) cleaning the floor. All with absolutely no expression or conversation from me). Now that was boring! I framed it as “this is just what we have to do”.

He had TWO accidents after that and I never mentioned his using the potty except as part of the routine when we left the house.

I'm laughing out loud picturing this to the extreme
Larlo: Mom why do we have to unload the dishwasher before I go back to play?
Mom: This is just what we do... clean everything.