Sharing homeschooling when the parents have different ideas about how much is enough
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Anonymous
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We have a homeschool pod with my DH's sister and her family. Between us there have 6 kids. One of my kids has severe medical needs and needs constant supervision and support, so DH is a SAH parent, but he's not really available to homeschool. So, the idea is that my SIL and BIL will bring their kids to our house, which is bigger and has a nice yard, and is wheelchair accessible for our child. They'll do a couple of hours of homeschooling in the morning with all 5 kids, and then go back to their house to home, and start their virtual work day. I'll do the opposite, scheduling my day so I finish early, and do a couple hours with them after work. For the time in between, we're paying a grandparent and a college age cousin to provide supervision, but no formal schooling. There might be some art or cooking projects if the caregivers want, but mostly the kids will have time to play indoors or out.
Or at least that's what I thought we had agreed upon. We homeschooled our kids last year, and found that for elementary school aged kids 3 or so hours of academics a day was plenty for them to move through a year's curriculum. But with the start of the school year, my SIL and BIL seem anxious that it's not enough. They keep wanting to add things to that middle part of the day. They think all the kids should have music lessons and daily practice, and online Spanish, and they'd like to buy formal art curriculum for my niece to do with the kids, and think that maybe we can leave some math worksheets and spelling workbooks. In my opinion it's too much. I think that 3 hours of academics, balanced with some indoor and outdoor play is a nice day for the kids, and that they'll learn plenty. I also don't really think that an option where my kids do less, and theirs do more, is fair to the grandparent and niece, because I think that enforcing work for some kids while their cousins are playing with legos close by is going to be easy. I'd love other homeschooling parents thoughts on how much is too much. The kids in question are 6 - 10. |
Anonymous
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What we think really doesn’t matter. Personally, I think 3 hours of formal learning is on target for 10, but way too much for 6. I can understand a formal art curriculum for upper elementary, but (IMO) it would be wasted on 6-7, maybe 8.
I homeschooled preschool through high school. This was the daily breakdown for time: Preschooler did workbooks whenever he wanted, which usually amounted to starting with the older kids and moving on to something else 15-30 minutes later. For the rest of the “school day,” he had independent activities that built early literacy, numeracy and fine motor skills, and he had full choice of what he was doing and when. Sometimes he decided to do more workbook pages later. Kinder: Phonics: 5, Sight words: 5, Reading comprehension: 10, Writing (and drawing a picture): 10, Handwriting: 5, Grammar: 5, Spelling: 5, Vocabulary: 5, Math: 10, Science: 5-10, Social studies: 5-10; total: 70-80 minutes Second: Sight words: 5, Reading comprehension: 15, Writing: 15, Handwriting: 5, Grammar: 5, Spelling: 5, Vocabulary: 5, Math: 15, Science: 10-15, Social studies: 10-15; Total: 90-100 minutes Third: Reading: 15-20, Writing: 15, Handwriting: 5, Grammar: 5, Spelling: 5, Vocabulary: 5, Word study: 5, Math: 15, Science: 15, Social studies: 15; Total: 100-105 minutes Fifth: Literature: 20-30, Writing: 20-30, Handwriting: 5, Grammar: 5, Spelling: 5, Vocabulary: 5-10, Word study: 5-10, Math: 20-30, Science: 20-30, Geography (physical/political): 5-10, History: 10-20, Civics/Government: 5-10; Total: 125-195 minutes Seventh: Literature: 30-40, Writing: 30-40, Handwriting: 5, Grammar: 10, Spelling: 10, Vocabulary: 10, Word study: 10, Math: 30-40, Science: 10-20, Science lab: 10-20, Geography (physical/political): 10, History: 20-30, Civics/Government: 10; Total: 195-255 minutes Ninth: Literature: 45-60, Writing: 30-45, Handwriting: 15, Grammar: 15, Spelling: 15, Vocabulary: 15, Word study: 15, Math: 45-60, Science: 15-30, Science lab: 15-30, Geography (physical/political): 15, History: 30-45, Civics/Government: 15; Total: 75 minutes never changed, 3-4.5 hours for the variable subjects Foreign language was as a group: preschool and kinder 5 minutes, second through fifth: 10 minutes, seventh and ninth: 20 minutes Music and art was self-paced starting in fifth, incorporated into the above subjects (and time) through third. Everyone had a lesson for an instrument of their choice starting at 4/5, and practice was a minimum of 3 times per practice piece. We had a homeschool PE class on a (sixth) day during which we did no formal learning. Each child also was responsible for playing/physical activity on their own. All the kids had chores to teach life skills: gardening, housekeeping, childcare for relatives, car maintenance, cooking, etc. The goal was to have kids capable of doing anything required by the time they reached ninth grade. They also got themselves a job outside the house (as age-appropriate). The high schooler was studying the driving manual and observing the driver in preparation for taking the written test and getting a permit (no driver’s ed required, just tracking hours with the permit). With that said, even the ninth grader had plenty of time to do other things. I can understand wanting to do a foreign language and art, but this is one of the reasons that I prefer setting my own hours. |
Anonymous
| OP - there is a big difference between a 6 year old and a 10 year old, so the expectations should be different. I was different than the PP... I have always used the entire day to homeschool my kids. I especially cannot imagine high school students finishing a strong academic program in that amount of time. For younger kids, I spent time varying the activities (craft projects, cooking, music, science projects, read alouds and outdoor activities tied to curriculum) so all of the hours didn't feel like "school," even though they were part of a themed curriculum. I also did "Home Ec" lessons so I considered that to be school. I would work with your family to limit the book work to a reasonable degree, but to use the other hours in a good way. Since homeschoolers don't have homework, there is plenty of time for free play in the late afternoon and evening. |
Anonymous
| I think three hours is fine for the older kids. For the ones closer to age 6 I think an hour and a half of academics is enough. You can find great art ideas on Pinterest if you want to do an art class once a week. |
Anonymous
OP here, in theory, I agree with both of you that the 10 year olds should be doing more than the 6 year old. In actuality though, I'm the one with the older kids. And since I'm the one arguing for less, I feel like I can only argue about what impacts my own kids. The only reason why I feel like I should have an opinion at all, is because they feel that if their kids are working and mine aren't, then theirs will feel it's unfair. So, they'd like my kids to work too. That's the crux of the problem. I'd be fine if the littlest one was playing while my kids work, but I'm also fine if they decide to have her work, since she's not my kid. |
Anonymous
Not your responsibility. I feel sorry for the caregivers though. |
Anonymous
| kids won't really understand and think it's "unfair" if your ILs kids have more work than yours. that being said, there's absolutely no reason they can't do extra work when they go home for the day |
Anonymous
| Compromise? Two days a week would be the increased instruction time. Maybe find things that are more self-directed for the kids to do during the middle period? For instance, and maybe this isn’t a great example, but a nature scavenger hunt for the yard, where each child gets a sheet and has to find the items. Maybe the sheet also lists the items’ Spanish names and maybe the kids have to draw some of the items they find. Stuff that may have some academic content but they can do without instruction from the caregivers. |
Anonymous
That’s not what ILs want. Nor is it what the relatives signed up to do. |
Anonymous
| It’s like sharing a nanny- you need to have the same/substantially the same values and priorities. Doesn’t natter what dcum thinks, OP, we are not sharing this with you, they are. |
Anonymous
OP here, but with the grandparents providing the care, in our home, it gets trickier than a nanny share fast. |
Anonymous
Precisely. “For the time in between, we're paying a grandparent and a college age cousin to provide supervision, but no formal schooling. There might be some art or cooking projects if the caregivers want” The relatives signed up for custodial care, not homeschooling. Nip it in the bud, OP. |
Anonymous
Perhaps suggest to the parents to try it out with the original schedule (that does not burden the grandparents extra) and remind them that they can always supplement on the weekends or that the schedule can be revisited if their kids are not progressing as quickly as they should. |
Anonymous
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I don't think what they want is unreasonable. After all, many parents provide foreign language or art or music as a before or after school activity. Maybe what you need is something that's not worksheet-directed. Spanish can be watching Muzzy or playing online word matching games or watching Spanish language cartoons or songs while grandma or the cousin prepares lunch. Art can be a simple project the kids do together.
I also think limiting it to 2-3 days a week might work well. |
Anonymous
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You posted before and it sounded like a disaster. Your husband is a SAHD, what on earth is he doing that he isn't involved with all 3 of his kids? You need to hire a caregiver/nurse for that child and he needs to stop neglecting the other two.
They are right. You have 6 kids with all different academic needs and each should be using a formal homeschooling curriculum, especially the older kids. If they were smart, they'd hire child care and do DL. What you are doing is not responsible. |