MIL and screen time with DS

[Anonymous]

Our nanny is out this week and my husband has asked his mom to watch DS for 3 days in the mornings while I WFH.

We have a backup babysitter two other days.

DS is 18M and constantly on the move. My MIL has some health issues and cannot drive. My FIL drops her off in the morning and picks her up.

My MIL cannot keep up with our son. He gets into everything. She keeps trying to cuddle with him and have him sit on her lap and watch TV but her has zero interest. I can hear his screams of protest and he keeps coming to my office door, wanting to play.

My MIL cannot take him for walks. She just had the TV on for 5 straight hours. They watched Frozen twice yesterday.

It’s driving me nuts.

I want to suggest to my husband that I will just bring DS over to their house on the weekend for a visit versus having his mom be responsible for our son. The amount of screen time he’s getting right now is not working for me. My husband is adamant that everything is fine. I feel like I have to watch them both.

Do I just let this one go?

[Anonymous]

To the extent it's about too much screen time, you need to let it go. It's not going to damage him, especially as he's not all that into it, by your account. Maybe point out to her a few activities that she can do with him while seated -- playing with blocks or Magnatiles, for example. Or let him run around outside in the sprinkler or a kiddie pool while she sits and watches. But three days of screen isn't going to hurt him. And she's doing you a favor, for free.

To the extent it's distracting, put on a pair of headphones and ignore it.

[Anonymous]

Surprised he is actually watching the tv for hours at 18 months.

But, it's 3 days, the tv is not a huge deal.

What is a bigger deal is he seems to be too much for your MIL to take care. Does she even want to be doing this? Sounds like you need better back-up care, for her sake as much as anyone else's (I'm not going to get into the whole riskiness of the pandemic issue, am assuming everyone has thought about this already).

Definitely talk to your husband. Lay out your issues, see what he suggests.

[Anonymous]

Just 3 days? Let it go. I used to be very uptight about screens and looking back, it was such a waste of my energy and caused so much unnecessary stress.

[Anonymous]

Unless you are prepared to take off from work and watch your son yourself, you let this one go. She is doing you a *huge* favor.

[Anonymous]

you should have had activities ready to go that your MIL could actually do. You just rattle off what she can't do...if you're so in tune with what she can't do (going on walks, etc.) then take some time to come up with other ideas. Have a simple art project ready, or a simple "cooking" project where he can pour and stir. Or have bathtime in the middle of the day. Or get the kid tired so he might take a nap. Of course screen time is not ideal (nor would I make a huge deal out of it for such a short timeframe) but you haven't explained what you did, as your child's parent, to make plans. I think you and your husband are partly to blame here.

[Anonymous]

OP I'd let this one go since it's only 3 days.

If your MIL has Amazon Prime, tell her that she can show him Blues Clues and the original Mister Rogers Neighborhood, which are slower in pace and though geared to older children, closer to the mark than Frozen. Repeating a movie twice isn't terrible either, as children process through repetition.

[Anonymous]

Thank you everyone.

I’ve placed a few orders through amazon prime that are coming tomorrow that they can play with. Thank you for the suggestions. I haven’t heard of magnatiles so we have some on the way.

And I wasn’t a fan of this plan, due to my MIL’s health issues. My husband insisted. We did have a backup sitter but my husband asked me to cancel, saying his mom wanted to spend time with DS. I don’t personally feel it’s the best option but I’m letting it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I haven’t heard of magnatiles so we have some on the way.

Those would be a good toy for their house. You'll get many years of use out of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you everyone.

I’ve placed a few orders through amazon prime that are coming tomorrow that they can play with. Thank you for the suggestions. I haven’t heard of magnatiles so we have some on the way.

And I wasn’t a fan of this plan, due to my MIL’s health issues. My husband insisted. We did have a backup sitter but my husband asked me to cancel, saying his mom wanted to spend time with DS. I don’t personally feel it’s the best option but I’m letting it go.

And it can fall squarely into the category of never again, since it worked out so poorly. Spending time with DS can happen as a visit, but not as babysitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny is out this week and my husband has asked his mom to watch DS for 3 days in the mornings while I WFH.

We have a backup babysitter two other days.

DS is 18M and constantly on the move. My MIL has some health issues and cannot drive. My FIL drops her off in the morning and picks her up.

My MIL cannot keep up with our son. He gets into everything. She keeps trying to cuddle with him and have him sit on her lap and watch TV but her has zero interest. I can hear his screams of protest and he keeps coming to my office door, wanting to play.

My MIL cannot take him for walks. She just had the TV on for 5 straight hours. They watched Frozen twice yesterday.

It’s driving me nuts.

I want to suggest to my husband that I will just bring DS over to their house on the weekend for a visit versus having his mom be responsible for our son. The amount of screen time he’s getting right now is not working for me. My husband is adamant that everything is fine. I feel like I have to watch them both.

Do I just let this one go?

if she cannot keep up with him, she should not be in charge of watching him. Find a different back up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I haven’t heard of magnatiles so we have some on the way.

Those would be a good toy for their house. You'll get many years of use out of them.

. Magna tiles are for ages 3 and up NOT for an 18 month old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you everyone.

I’ve placed a few orders through amazon prime that are coming tomorrow that they can play with. Thank you for the suggestions. I haven’t heard of magnatiles so we have some on the way.

And I wasn’t a fan of this plan, due to my MIL’s health issues. My husband insisted. We did have a backup sitter but my husband asked me to cancel, saying his mom wanted to spend time with DS. I don’t personally feel it’s the best option but I’m letting it go.

Magnatiles are a godsend.

[Anonymous]

Let it go - it’s three days. Even if he watched TV the entire time, it would be fine for that short period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you everyone.

I’ve placed a few orders through amazon prime that are coming tomorrow that they can play with. Thank you for the suggestions. I haven’t heard of magnatiles so we have some on the way.

And I wasn’t a fan of this plan, due to my MIL’s health issues. My husband insisted. We did have a backup sitter but my husband asked me to cancel, saying his mom wanted to spend time with DS. I don’t personally feel it’s the best option but I’m letting it go.

OP, this sounds like you are at some level sabotaging this plan since you didn't want to do it anyway. That whole MIL/DIL thing we see so much here on DCUM.

Really try to make it work for another week. My guess is that your MIL, who is really trying to step up and help, is going to feel or is already feeling overwhelmed by this. But if you both give it a true attempt to make it work and it doesn't you both can feel good that you tried, then can move on to Plan B.