parents of college students -- how is your student reacting to pandemic planning?

[Anonymous]

Parents of college students -- how are you and your student reacting to your university's plans for the upcoming semester? Who is making the decision about whether your student will attend college this fall? Are you putting any conditions on paying for or attending school? (Like you can only go if school is in person?)

If school is online, is your student living at home? or going to campus anyway?

How is your student emotionally? Are they able to cope with the change of plans and uncertainty? are they more emotional, anxious, depressed?

[Anonymous]

My child was very ambivalent. Very.

In the end WE decided that she would stay home but take online classes. Most of her college will return, and take hybrid classes. They seem to have a good plan in place, but it is all one big social/health experiment TBH.

Neither option is ideal, but I am relieved that we will watch it all unfold from the safety of our couch.

[Anonymous]

Freshman chose to start virtually from home, both to save money and eliminate chaos. DC did well with hs DL.

[Anonymous]

Rising freshman decided to defer start until fall of 2021. Her classes would have been 100% online and she could have been in the dorms for a shortened fall semester only. She REALLY did not want to gap but the reality of her freshman year ultimately convinced her to wait. We let it be her decision. We were pleased that her school was so flexible about these requests. It was a very stressful couple of weeks when she was going back-and-forth and made her decision at the very last possible minute.

[Anonymous]

My Dc is having the most trouble with all the moving parameters. His school keeps changing and adding requirements, our state is in quarantine, but looked like things were getting better and possibly would be out by the time he goes, which classes are going to be online regardless of if others are in person or not. He is also trying to schedule GREs and will have to go to a different state- so hopes that state will not be in quarantine in Sept or Oct.

[Anonymous]

Rising sophomore going back. I'd like to order her to stay home (her small college is making everything available both on campus and entirely online if students choose to stay home). But if we did, it would do irreparable damage to our relationship. She's not a freshman to whom it's all new - she established very strong friendships and ties with faculty during the time she was on campus. And the key factor is that the college is not some huge state school or large university, it's small and the campus is self-contained and it's in a low-covid area (though that can change in a matter of days, I fear). The plans in place are really good if the students follow them and there will be more pressure to follow them than on a sprawling campus with a huge student body. STILL I wish they'd go all online.

She is very good about staying in, and about masking if we even drive out to do curbside pickup somewhere, so I trust her when she has told me she is very serious about the college's strict masking policies that will be in place. They all live on campus, and she's been talking through how she will handle things like laundry, having a roommate, places to eat (cafeteria is closed except for grab and go food).She picked classes for the fall that she can easily do back here at home if they are sent home. She seems very ready to be cautious but the problem to me is other students. I just hope she and her friends will be willing to call out other people if they see students who are not masked. It is hard, on their campus, to fade into a crowd, so it will be fairly evident if a student is being a jerk and not following rules -- the dorms are the place it's all likely to come off the rails, as kids will not want to distance and mask indoors in places like dorm activity rooms....

Her mental health here at home has been good because she has a ton of contact and Zoom socializing with friends from college. That's good and bad in terms of, it means she is not lonely and cut off but it also means she is eager to see her friends. Freshmen just starting this fall won't have those roots so it's easier for some of them (not saying all of them) to forego being on campus yet.

[Anonymous]

My Freshman is not phased but he doesn't know how restrictive it will be.

My Junior is in denial, he will eventually have or go to a party and I suspect he will be expelled.

[Anonymous]

My kid is just rolling with the punches. He made a conscious decision a few months back (as announced at the dinner table) to take things as they come, and to not get upset about things out of his control. He has been true to his word. I’m so proud of him.

[Anonymous]

My freshman is doing well. He’s going to the college he really wanted, and it’s a great fit. His SLAC came up with the outlines of a solid plan a month ago, and has stuck to it. As the details have come in, it looks very solid. There are no guarantees, but I think his college has a better chance of staying open this and avoiding a major outbreak than 95% of the schools out there.

He’s started orientation remotely and reports to campus in 17 days. He took classes online through the school this spring and summer. So, he’s met incoming kids and already feels connected. I’m 90-95% sure they will open on time, as planned. Sports are cancelled. All the kids are in singles. Local COVID numbers are holding, they have worked closely with a nationally renowned medical center that well exceeds state requirements. They have a contract with a private testing company for regular tests for every student with a 24-36 hour turn around, and rapid testing for symptomatic kids.

Absent something freaky happening, I think it’s a go. If not, we have a problem, because I just shipped dorm stuff.

They offered a gap year to anyone who wanted one, and over 85% of 2024 admits chose to start this year.

We gave him the choice to attend or gap year. We did not give him the option of starting remotely when the vast majority of freshman have chosen to start on campus. How a student adapts their first semester is a big predictor of overall college success. And I don’t want his first semester to be in my basement, with no way to make real connections to the campus. Plus, he’s ADHD and DL isn’t a great fit.

He chose to go. And he’s a responsible kid who put serious thought into his options. I’m worried, but he’s developmentally ready and excited. I can’t see him treading water for a year and having it work out well. So, I’m holding my breath, saying a prayer, and probably not sleeping a lot his first few weeks.

He is lucky that he has not been in the position of having plans change and then change again.

[Anonymous]

My Junior is going back and I think has a realistic view that anything could happen.

[Anonymous]

My DD freshman has the biggest expectations so I think it will be hardest for her when things change. She is buying so much to decorate her dorm.

[Anonymous]

Pretty much we are rolling with the punches. Luckily my kids attend state schools in state so not getting walloped with tuition bill for on line classes. I figure they should stay in school because they have nothing else to do. I don’t want them getting a job that would require them to go in person. Right now, school seems to be the best option for structure and to keep them busy and moving forward towards their goals.

[Anonymous]

Our rising Junior seems to be doing fine. He was off campus last year and will be again this year, although instead of an apartment he is sharing a house with 3 teammates. We knew he would be there regardless of whether classes were on campus or online. Right now their plan mixed. He has a few of each (online and on campus).

The school is a smaller out of state school in a small town. Tuition really isn't crazy (about $5,400 for the semester) so we aren't concerned about the cost of online vs on campus courses. We did notice today that some of the fees were reduced since we paid for the semester, so there should be a small adjustment.

Their plans seem fairly solid, although I would be more comfortable if the school would require students to have COVID testing done prior to returning to school.

[Anonymous]

Our rising junior seems to be doing fine. He was off campus last year and will be again this year, although instead of an apartment he is sharing a house with 3 teammates. We knew he would be there regardless of whether classes were on campus or online. Right now their plan mixed. He has a few of each (online and on campus). The postponement of fall sports might be the toughest part to deal with, but if they can still train that will be helpful.

The school is a smaller out of state school in a small town. Tuition really isn't crazy (about $5,400 for the semester) so we aren't concerned about the cost of online vs on campus courses. We did notice today that some of the fees were reduced since we paid for the semester, so there should be a small adjustment.

Their plans seem fairly solid, although I would be more comfortable if the school would require students to have COVID testing done prior to returning to school.

[Anonymous]

"My Junior is in denial, he will eventually have or go to a party and I suspect he will be expelled."

DS is already back and "quarantining". The school's rules are still evolving. They are along way from making expulsion a punishment.

It seems like their "nuclear" punishment option is to require DL with a proportional room and board refund.