When bio kids don't look like you

[Anonymous]

My friend has bio kids that don't look like him or his wife. The kids all look alike so there is no question if they are theirs biologically. I've just always wondered if it's harder to bond with kids that don't look like you vs. ones who do?

For women, I can see it being easier since women carry, so the questions is aimed at men mainly. Is it easier to bond when they look like you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend has bio kids that don't look like him or his wife. The kids all look alike so there is no question if they are theirs biologically. I've just always wondered if it's harder to bond with kids that don't look like you vs. ones who do?

For women, I can see it being easier since women carry, so the questions is aimed at men mainly. Is it easier to bond when they look like you?

WUT?

Seriously.

[Anonymous]

No, I think it has more to do with personalities. Even when it comes to kids you know are not related to you biologically.

[Anonymous]

A friend of a friend has an interracial kid who looks nothing like her. She is pretty open that she struggles with the fact that she does not see herself in her kid.

[Anonymous]

honestly I think about this sometimes - especially with regard to mixed race couples. It must be so satisfying to have a kid that looks so much like you or shares your traits so completely. I'm a woman so obviously I know my kids are mine (and my husband's) but I see the point you're making.

my kids also look a TON like each other and less like me and DH.

[Anonymous]

OP, kids change. Their looks change

[Anonymous]

Two of my kids don’t look like me at all. I don’t feel any differently about them than I do with my kid who looks exactly like me.

I mean, you know most adoptive parents are able to bond well, right?

[Anonymous]

Has anyone noticed how funny genes are - in that the kid who looks like you (or spouse) tends to act more like you (or spouse?

[Anonymous]

Our donor egg baby looks exactly like my husband and nothing like me. I love this child with all my heart and it hasn't stopped me bonding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two of my kids don’t look like me at all. I don’t feel any differently about them than I do with my kid who looks exactly like me.

I mean, you know most adoptive parents are able to bond well, right?

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone noticed how funny genes are - in that the kid who looks like you (or spouse) tends to act more like you (or spouse?

it's the opposite in my family. kid who looks like DH and family acts like me and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

My first looks exactly like my DH. Personality is just like DH as well. About the only thing he got from me is hair color.
Hasn’t stopped us from bonding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two of my kids don’t look like me at all. I don’t feel any differently about them than I do with my kid who looks exactly like me.

I mean, you know most adoptive parents are able to bond well, right?

Exactly.

+2

[Anonymous]

My child looks nothing like me, but very much like the other parent. I have no problem adoring my kid and abhorring my ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our donor egg baby looks exactly like my husband and nothing like me. I love this child with all my heart and it hasn't stopped me bonding.

Ditto. And now as teenagers, their personalities are scarily like mine in many ways. So lots of ways to “see yourself” in your children.