need to get out with family more, feeling too isolated

[Anonymous]

DH is an introvert and loving the current situation. I used to be more of an introvert but have changed over the years and do not enjoy extended periods alone, especially for the kids.

I'm not looking to bust out and jump on a plane or go to concerts or take the kids to an amusement park. I just want to get out for a nice road trip to some peaceful place, maybe even carefully select an AirBnb. Or just go to a new pretty spot on a Sunday like a lake. Our kids are still small, under 8 years old and I'd rather not manage them alone. But DH has no interest. Perfectly fine staying home every single weekend, having the kids play in the yard. We have friends we see once in a blue moon with kids-- we meet up at a park, for example. That's all we do. DH just wants to tinker in the garage, bbq at home every weekend. It's been like this for months. I talk with friends on the phone, visit a friend or two here and there. Our families live far away so visiting them isn't an option. Some close friends invited us over for a little gathering in their yard with only them. DH isn't interested. I feel like we're going to drift away from some people.

I work full-time and my job sent everyone home months ago and we're expected to telework through the winter. That used to be a good outlet with occasional conference trips. Even back then DH wasn't interested in doing much. I've been trying to convince him to consider new things to do just for more variety. No dice. Maybe it's me? Is this just how it has to be?

[Anonymous]

1) Ask if you can each do something for the other, to compromise.

2) If he refuses, still head out with the kids, they will love it.

3) I recently saw some families with young children just splashing in a cool stream, catching minnows, etc. Looked refreshing!

4) Another option might be a walk in a local garden or picnic in a park?

You know what you need. Don't let him prevent you from doing it.

[Anonymous]

Your DH sounds like mine so I just take the kids out on my own. I wish we could do things as a family but it is what it is. He's not interested and not willing to do it for the kids. If he comes along, he's just grumpy and makes everyone around him on the edge. No advice, just wanted to say you are not alone.

[Anonymous]

Same, DH often doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything, so I take the kids myself.

[Anonymous]

I think you can compromise on this. Maybe take the kids out on your own one weekend day but do something together on the other day.

[Anonymous]

Leave the kids with him and take a girls trip.

[Anonymous]

Don’t lee we t hermits prevent you from enjoying life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t lee we t hermits prevent you from enjoying life.

Don’t let hermits

[Anonymous]

"Honey I want to take the kids and you to Cunningham Falls State Park next weekend. Lets put that on the calendar for next Saturday and plan on leaving by 9:00 am.

I think it would be a great family day out"

[Anonymous]

"Honey the summer heat is getting to me. I'd like to take a family trip to Luray Caverns to get a break from the heat and I think it would be a great educational trip for the kids and the family. Lets put that on the upcaming calendar as a family trip for Saturday August 22. That will still leave you Sunday to putter around the house."

[Anonymous]

Take one kid at a time and leave the other one home with DH. You get two trips, kids get one-on-one time, everybody wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is an introvert and loving the current situation. I used to be more of an introvert but have changed over the years and do not enjoy extended periods alone, especially for the kids.

I'm not looking to bust out and jump on a plane or go to concerts or take the kids to an amusement park. I just want to get out for a nice road trip to some peaceful place, maybe even carefully select an AirBnb. Or just go to a new pretty spot on a Sunday like a lake. Our kids are still small, under 8 years old and I'd rather not manage them alone. But DH has no interest. Perfectly fine staying home every single weekend, having the kids play in the yard. We have friends we see once in a blue moon with kids-- we meet up at a park, for example. That's all we do. DH just wants to tinker in the garage, bbq at home every weekend. It's been like this for months. I talk with friends on the phone, visit a friend or two here and there. Our families live far away so visiting them isn't an option. Some close friends invited us over for a little gathering in their yard with only them. DH isn't interested. I feel like we're going to drift away from some people.

I work full-time and my job sent everyone home months ago and we're expected to telework through the winter. That used to be a good outlet with occasional conference trips. Even back then DH wasn't interested in doing much. I've been trying to convince him to consider new things to do just for more variety. No dice. Maybe it's me? Is this just how it has to be?

Friends can be hard to come by. Accept all friend invitations. If DH does not want to go leave him home. "Honey the kids at a great time over at Larlo and Larla's house.
We stayed outside 6' apart and the kids had fun running around in the back yard. Larlo asked where you were and everyone missed you."

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for all of the ideas. Last week I had actually suggested going to a state park a short drive away with little creeks where the kids could play and he said he can set up a pool in the yard for the same experience. This is pretty much what I deal with.

I know he likes to do stuff as a family but it takes some arm-twisting. I even joined a local rec center last year just to have a place to take the kids to this summer. I thought it would offer a good compromise. I have a few friends who go there who I could hang out with, and the kids know some classmates there. I figured it would be an easy win-win and he could stay home and do whatever. Alas, we can't go because of the pandemic. I didn't even add him as a member because I know he wouldn't go and it would be money out the window pretty much. I also know some people who have family nearby with cabins or beach houses that offer options for getting away but we just don't have that available to us. On the positive side, we've done a lot of work around the house and made some nice improvements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is an introvert and loving the current situation. I used to be more of an introvert but have changed over the years and do not enjoy extended periods alone, especially for the kids.

I'm not looking to bust out and jump on a plane or go to concerts or take the kids to an amusement park. I just want to get out for a nice road trip to some peaceful place, maybe even carefully select an AirBnb. Or just go to a new pretty spot on a Sunday like a lake. Our kids are still small, under 8 years old and I'd rather not manage them alone. But DH has no interest. Perfectly fine staying home every single weekend, having the kids play in the yard. We have friends we see once in a blue moon with kids-- we meet up at a park, for example. That's all we do. DH just wants to tinker in the garage, bbq at home every weekend. It's been like this for months. I talk with friends on the phone, visit a friend or two here and there. Our families live far away so visiting them isn't an option. Some close friends invited us over for a little gathering in their yard with only them. DH isn't interested. I feel like we're going to drift away from some people.

I work full-time and my job sent everyone home months ago and we're expected to telework through the winter. That used to be a good outlet with occasional conference trips. Even back then DH wasn't interested in doing much. I've been trying to convince him to consider new things to do just for more variety. No dice. Maybe it's me? Is this just how it has to be?

Hugs! This sounds exactly like my DH. Except that he often has to work on the weekends so there is even less time for us all to do something (assuming he wanted to). I have the same fears as you. It is so hard! A few things I have tried:
1. We are booking an AirBnB with a private pool near the beach. Not much interacting with other people - but at least we will get out of the house and enjoy something new.
2. I have been taking one morning off every other week to meet my mom at a nearby park. Sometimes we just sit by the river and talk. Sometimes we hike. Sometimes my kids come along too.
3. We are in a “quarantine bubble” with a family we are close to (kids are similar ages). We have the same views on COVID safety and so our families will occasionally hang out so the kids can play etc.
4. I signed my kids up for an outdoor running club in the Fall. It will be socially distant and allow them to hang out with other kids. We know some of the families so the adults can talk while the kids run.

[Anonymous]

Its sucks for all of us but the only way to reduce the spread is to keep not socializing and traveling. Teach your kids to be responsible and not selfish.