Resources for bilingual families

[Anonymous]

When I was growing up I remember hearing that bilingual families should follow the "one parent, one language" rule where each parent only speaks to the child in one language to prevent the child from confusing the languages. I'm now reading that this is unnecessary.

"Some families decide that each parent will speak a different language to the child. But the child will be able to sort out the two languages even if both parents speak them both, Dr. Hoff said. “There is certainly no research to suggest that children need to have languages lined up with speakers or they get confused.” On the other hand, that rule could be a way of making sure that the non-English language is used."
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/10/well/family/raising-a-truly-bilingual-child.html

I'm curious if folks know of any more detailed, up to date resources for bilingual families.

Back story is I grew up speaking Spanish at home and English at school. As described in the article English became my dominant language, but my Spanish is still decent though I have less vocabulary in it. I've started speaking in Spanish to DD when it's just the two of us (DH is not a Spanish-speaker) but grandparents are concerned about language confusion.

[Anonymous]

I have read (I don’t have a cite sorry) that some people also use languages in different contexts rather than with different people. E.g. Spanish at home, English with other people. I think the challenge is that if there are not consistent environments where the child has to use the language, they’ll lose speaking ability once they’re in school and live in an a English-dominated society. Perhaps you could go with a Spanish with grandparents rule? Especially if they vid chat/visit a lot?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have read (I don’t have a cite sorry) that some people also use languages in different contexts rather than with different people. E.g. Spanish at home, English with other people. I think the challenge is that if there are not consistent environments where the child has to use the language, they’ll lose speaking ability once they’re in school and live in an a English-dominated society. Perhaps you could go with a Spanish with grandparents rule? Especially if they vid chat/visit a lot?

I was doing that before, but I didn't feel she was getting enough exposure to Spanish. Now that I'm speaking to her more on my own, (in addition to grandparents) she is definitely understanding more.

But the grandparents are concerned that she'll eventually get too confused and not be able to communicate with people who don't speak both languages. I'd like to know more about whether this is a real issue. Based on my experience I suspect she'll eventually figure out how to communicate in English just fine, but I do see how what I'm doing could be confusing for her.

[Anonymous]

Please tell grandparents not to worry.

Bilingualism does not cause speech delays in any way and introducing multiple languages, the younger the better.

[Anonymous]

Here you go:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6168212/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have read (I don’t have a cite sorry) that some people also use languages in different contexts rather than with different people. E.g. Spanish at home, English with other people. I think the challenge is that if there are not consistent environments where the child has to use the language, they’ll lose speaking ability once they’re in school and live in an a English-dominated society. Perhaps you could go with a Spanish with grandparents rule? Especially if they vid chat/visit a lot?

I was doing that before, but I didn't feel she was getting enough exposure to Spanish. Now that I'm speaking to her more on my own, (in addition to grandparents) she is definitely understanding more.

But the grandparents are concerned that she'll eventually get too confused and not be able to communicate with people who don't speak both languages. I'd like to know more about whether this is a real issue. Based on my experience I suspect she'll eventually figure out how to communicate in English just fine, but I do see how what I'm doing could be confusing for her.

It's not an issue after the age for 4. Really. My kids probably language was not English. And she spoke to me and the nanny and her grandparents in that language and only to dad and his parents in English. Around 3 she still didn't have nearly as many words in English but by 4/4.5 she's totally fluent in both, has no confusion as to who speaks what language. Asks me or dad to tell her how to say something in the other language. Understands that people speak many different languages and some that she doesn't know. I've observed the same with many friend families who are bilingual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here you go:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6168212/

Thank you so much, this is perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have read (I don’t have a cite sorry) that some people also use languages in different contexts rather than with different people. E.g. Spanish at home, English with other people. I think the challenge is that if there are not consistent environments where the child has to use the language, they’ll lose speaking ability once they’re in school and live in an a English-dominated society. Perhaps you could go with a Spanish with grandparents rule? Especially if they vid chat/visit a lot?

I was doing that before, but I didn't feel she was getting enough exposure to Spanish. Now that I'm speaking to her more on my own, (in addition to grandparents) she is definitely understanding more.

But the grandparents are concerned that she'll eventually get too confused and not be able to communicate with people who don't speak both languages. I'd like to know more about whether this is a real issue. Based on my experience I suspect she'll eventually figure out how to communicate in English just fine, but I do see how what I'm doing could be confusing for her.

It's not an issue after the age for 4. Really. My kids probably language was not English. And she spoke to me and the nanny and her grandparents in that language and only to dad and his parents in English. Around 3 she still didn't have nearly as many words in English but by 4/4.5 she's totally fluent in both, has no confusion as to who speaks what language. Asks me or dad to tell her how to say something in the other language. Understands that people speak many different languages and some that she doesn't know. I've observed the same with many friend families who are bilingual.

Wow that was a lot of typos and autocorrects there. It's not a problem after the age of 4 from my observations. We do follow one parent/one grandparents one language. I slip into English sometimes and she corrects me! We do it because I don't want her to pickup dads incorrect accent and pronunciation sincere he's not a native speaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have read (I don’t have a cite sorry) that some people also use languages in different contexts rather than with different people. E.g. Spanish at home, English with other people. I think the challenge is that if there are not consistent environments where the child has to use the language, they’ll lose speaking ability once they’re in school and live in an a English-dominated society. Perhaps you could go with a Spanish with grandparents rule? Especially if they vid chat/visit a lot?

I was doing that before, but I didn't feel she was getting enough exposure to Spanish. Now that I'm speaking to her more on my own, (in addition to grandparents) she is definitely understanding more.

But the grandparents are concerned that she'll eventually get too confused and not be able to communicate with people who don't speak both languages. I'd like to know more about whether this is a real issue. Based on my experience I suspect she'll eventually figure out how to communicate in English just fine, but I do see how what I'm doing could be confusing for her.

It's not an issue after the age for 4. Really. My kids probably language was not English. And she spoke to me and the nanny and her grandparents in that language and only to dad and his parents in English. Around 3 she still didn't have nearly as many words in English but by 4/4.5 she's totally fluent in both, has no confusion as to who speaks what language. Asks me or dad to tell her how to say something in the other language. Understands that people speak many different languages and some that she doesn't know. I've observed the same with many friend families who are bilingual.

Wow that was a lot of typos and autocorrects there. It's not a problem after the age of 4 from my observations. We do follow one parent/one grandparents one language. I slip into English sometimes and she corrects me! We do it because I don't want her to pickup dads incorrect accent and pronunciation sincere he's not a native speaker.

Ha ha no worries. Your family's approach makes a lot of sense. I should probably just commit to only speaking to her in Spanish to increase her exposure, but I am so much more comfortable in English. So I'm a little haphazard about it but try to do some Spanish each day. I'm hopeful she can do a Spanish immersion program of some sort in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here you go:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6168212/

Thank you so much, this is perfect.

It may not change their minds. This is a long held prejudice and it was often reinforced by well meaning but dinosaur pediatricians for decades.

[Anonymous]

The bottom line is that you need to reinforce the language that is not the host country's language. This is done by enrolling your child in immersion schools or weekend schools, where they learn grammar and vocabulary, and hopefully some cultural context, in a structured, formal manner. Otherwise you get kids who can hold an easy conversation, at best, or who have a smattering of words, at worse, but cannot write or function in that language.

We are an international family and our kids have gone to our native language weekend school ever since they were little. All the international families we know have done this.

We speak to our kids in a mix of our native language and English and occasionally watch movies and the news from our country. I curate some classics in our language that I require them to read. While it is recommended you talk as much as you can to your young child in the language you wish to reinforce, once children are school-aged, it becomes much harder, because they have playdates and activities and need homework help in English. My husband currently helps my teen son with his summer math course, and they talk in English, because it wouldn't really work to translate all the math in our native language. My husband's American accent is atrocious, so it's pretty funny

[Anonymous]

15:51 again: both my children talked a little late, and I am sure it's because they were processing both languages. In the past people took this delay as a sign that children should only be talked to in one language, but studies have shown that afterwards they catch up and indeed, that being multilingual early on helps the brain problem-solve more easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The bottom line is that you need to reinforce the language that is not the host country's language. This is done by enrolling your child in immersion schools or weekend schools, where they learn grammar and vocabulary, and hopefully some cultural context, in a structured, formal manner. Otherwise you get kids who can hold an easy conversation, at best, or who have a smattering of words, at worse, but cannot write or function in that language.

We are an international family and our kids have gone to our native language weekend school ever since they were little. All the international families we know have done this.

We speak to our kids in a mix of our native language and English and occasionally watch movies and the news from our country. I curate some classics in our language that I require them to read. While it is recommended you talk as much as you can to your young child in the language you wish to reinforce, once children are school-aged, it becomes much harder, because they have playdates and activities and need homework help in English. My husband currently helps my teen son with his summer math course, and they talk in English, because it wouldn't really work to translate all the math in our native language. My husband's American accent is atrocious, so it's pretty funny

Yes I know exactly what you mean. I really struggled to maintain the Spanish that I have growing up here, and we traveled a lot to our native country. Looking back I realize I would have needed to have peers to speak Spanish with on a daily basis to have a shot at being fully bilingual which I don't feel that I am. I do really want to give her the tools to feel confident in Spanish, and I agree that immersion/Saturday school will be important. Right now I mainly want to give her a basic foundation to build on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here you go:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6168212/

Thank you so much, this is perfect.

It may not change their minds. This is a long held prejudice and it was often reinforced by well meaning but dinosaur pediatricians for decades.

Fair enough. It's really more for me than for them.