Can't Win

[Anonymous]

My child has decided to continue his studies online from home (when most of the campus is going back, for hybrid instruction). As a health professional, I am certain he has made the safer choice (and that he was probably influenced by me, though his own ambivalence was there in spades). This is one big experiment, and many of my infectious disease colleagues predict an ugly fall/winter. Still, I am feeling bad because of what he will miss. Even though it is very hard for me to picture college life in masks and socially distanced. Should I have encouraged his braver instincts? Will this harm his GPA/education/social development. This whole situation is such a lose lose, from where I sit!!

[Anonymous]

Do we need yet another Covid thread in the colleges forum? Really? Can't you take it to health and medicine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child has decided to continue his studies online from home (when most of the campus is going back, for hybrid instruction). As a health professional, I am certain he has made the safer choice (and that he was probably influenced by me, though his own ambivalence was there in spades). This is one big experiment, and many of my infectious disease colleagues predict an ugly fall/winter. Still, I am feeling bad because of what he will miss. Even though it is very hard for me to picture college life in masks and socially distanced. Should I have encouraged his braver instincts? Will this harm his GPA/education/social development. This whole situation is such a lose lose, from where I sit!!

Support him. He has plenty of time to make friends in the future.

[Anonymous]

Social development? He's in college. Don't you think he's socially developed for the most part by now? He doesn't need to GO to college for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do we need yet another Covid thread in the colleges forum? Really? Can't you take it to health and medicine?

Why? It is the issue for college students and all students and families with students right now. education is in a stunning breakdown right now and education is not exactly the most nimble sector in term of change. What to do is a huge question all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social development? He's in college. Don't you think he's socially developed for the most part by now? He doesn't need to GO to college for that.

Yep. College isn’t kindergarten. I know plenty of well-adjusted, successful adults who lived at home for college anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social development? He's in college. Don't you think he's socially developed for the most part by now? He doesn't need to GO to college for that.

Yep. College isn’t kindergarten. I know plenty of well-adjusted, successful adults who lived at home for college anyway.

Did they sit in their rooms and try to get an education through a computer screen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do we need yet another Covid thread in the colleges forum? Really? Can't you take it to health and medicine?

1) I don't think you realize the angst that many people are experiencing.

2) They have a right to post and you have a read to not read. Sorry if you don't share their views...but just move on. There are a lot of posts about this for a reason...people are very conflicted. They love their children and no one knows what is safe to do right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social development? He's in college. Don't you think he's socially developed for the most part by now? He doesn't need to GO to college for that.

Yep. College isn’t kindergarten. I know plenty of well-adjusted, successful adults who lived at home for college anyway.

Did they sit in their rooms and try to get an education through a computer screen?

I lived at home and worked full time in a law firm while going to college at night. I had friends to chat with in classes, but I'm now in my 40's and can't remember any of their names. College was never the focal point of my life, and yet I'm thriving. Just like there are different ways to raise kids and they'll all turn out okay in the end, there are different ways to do college and they'lll all turn out okay in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social development? He's in college. Don't you think he's socially developed for the most part by now? He doesn't need to GO to college for that.

Yep. College isn’t kindergarten. I know plenty of well-adjusted, successful adults who lived at home for college anyway.

Did they sit in their rooms and try to get an education through a computer screen?

No, but there also was not a disease running rampant in the US at that time, that has killed more Americans than WW1.

[Anonymous]

OP your son made a perfectly sensible choice; and very likely his college WON'T be going back with hybrid instruction in the fall as much as they hope to, anyhow.

As much as we in the US in certain economic classes value kids moving away to go to college, there can also be great benefits to living at home as young adults, if your family is basically emotionally healthy. And just because he is living at home and taking classes "from his bedroom" doesn't mean he has to be isolated. Although COVID is out there, people are also out in the community, volunteering and doing activities in a safe way -- and he can be a part of that as well. Likely half his friends from high school have made a similar decision.

If he doesn't know much about household chores, cooking, home maintenance this could be the year to try to get him to learn more. A young adult living at home taking a couple hours of classes daily will have free time to take the car to be serviced or visit Home Depot to pick up items to do a home repair for instance.

My college son has been organizing groups of friends to do outdoor activities this summer like hiking and biking trips.

The experience he would have had at college would not have been a normal one. I know it is easy to second guess yourself but I think you and he made the right decision.

[Anonymous]

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/07/28/us/covid-19-colleges-universities.html?smid=tw-share

More Than 6,300 Coronavirus Cases Have Been Linked to U.S. Colleges

July 29, 2020

As college students and professors decide whether to head back to class, and as universities weigh how and whether to reopen, the coronavirus is already on campus.

A New York Times survey of every public four-year college in the country, as well as every private institution that competes in Division I sports or is a member of an elite group of research universities, revealed at least 6,300 cases tied to about 270 colleges over the course of the pandemic. And the new academic year has not even begun at most schools.

[Anonymous]

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” - Albert Einstein


But then again, a greater wise man has said,


“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” - Mike Tyson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP your son made a perfectly sensible choice; and very likely his college WON'T be going back with hybrid instruction in the fall as much as they hope to, anyhow.

As much as we in the US in certain economic classes value kids moving away to go to college, there can also be great benefits to living at home as young adults, if your family is basically emotionally healthy. And just because he is living at home and taking classes "from his bedroom" doesn't mean he has to be isolated. Although COVID is out there, people are also out in the community, volunteering and doing activities in a safe way -- and he can be a part of that as well. Likely half his friends from high school have made a similar decision.

If he doesn't know much about household chores, cooking, home maintenance this could be the year to try to get him to learn more. A young adult living at home taking a couple hours of classes daily will have free time to take the car to be serviced or visit Home Depot to pick up items to do a home repair for instance.

My college son has been organizing groups of friends to do outdoor activities this summer like hiking and biking trips.

The experience he would have had at college would not have been a normal one. I know it is easy to second guess yourself but I think you and he made the right decision.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

The college experience is great, but remember that college is only 4 years out of (hopefully) a person’s long life. Keep perspective.