How do kids at schools with 4+ hours of HW per night have time to get everything done?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is a straight A student at a Big3. She will get home from school and sports at 8pm and work until 11pm or midnight--no phone time, no messing around on the internet. Or she'll set her alarm for 4amor 5am and work 2 hours until 7am when she gets ready for school.

It's honestly weird for a kid to do this. My other kids are nothing like this and I'm not either. But this is the type of kid who thrives at these schools and there are many of them that just do it without a thought. There is a decent percentage of REALLY driven kids.

i'm sorry. this is messed up. even if she 'just does it without a thought'. sounds like a recipe for burnout and an unhappy, unbalanced life. sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sleep, family time, time with friends, chores, ECs, etc?

- Short drive to school (private), so time not wasted there
- No job, focus is on sports and studies
- Not many chores other than picking up after themselves (I was the same, we had a daily maid who did our laundry growing up and I am now perfectly capable of keeping a great house, it's not hard to learn)
- Close friends who play sports plus do other activities
- Planning of schedule so as to maximize free time at school, etc.
- Family dinners, breakfasts, and my husband and I being flexible with our work to be able to drive them to and from sports or spend time when they're free

#1 is the highlighted along with what is HIGH level family support. They do nothing but school, family&friends, etc. They dont have daily or weekly chores, arent responsible for spending money and/or taking care of siblings, they never worry about money or enough gas or clothes or food.

And for the PP here - are you stating that you keep a clean home along with a FT job and no outsourcing whatsoever? Its not that cleaning is hard to learn it is having to do it ALL by yourself. People who come from these type of families typically dont suddenly get the legs taken out from under them- they go to college and never have a job unless they WANT extra money or do it for their resume/internships, they go to med/grad school after having entire summers at an "internship" or lowly paid lab job/summer intensive where they study for the GRE or MCAT (paid for by parents) while living at home and getting taken on vacations, they get their living expenses paid for including housing, their residency is supplemented by parental support/housing/grocery delivery, etc.

PP here - no, I have a maid who cleans the house but for five or so months starting last March my husband and I cleaned it all ourselves. My point is that I didn't need to learn how to clean a toilet or frankly even do laundry (again, not rocket science) before going to college and I survived doing my own laundry and cleaning my own room while in school and also doing both after graduation and during grad school before I had enough money to pay for a maid of my own. Some people seem to think that if you don't make your kids clean toilets when they're younger they won't be able to figure it out when they get older and that's kind of silly, in my opinion.

When I graduated from college I got a job where I worked for a few years before going to law school (which I paid for with student loans), so while I wouldn't say the legs were totally taken out from under me (I had a car that my parents had given me during high school in addition to remaining on their insurance until I was too old), but I didn't do an "internship" while living at home or in a parent-subsidized apartment or anything like that. Besides, I highly doubt there are a ton of Big 3 kids whose lives are all that different from mine growing up, so the idea of having a high level of family support wouldn't be surprising to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. What a grind. Up until midnight or up at 5:00 am? That just sucks.

I agree. They will burn out by graduation and then either be the least interesting person graduating from their college(because they have never had a real life) or go wild once they are there.
They will become those deadpan baby face doctors who have no bedside manner and no real life experience so they can’t relate to patients.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sleep, family time, time with friends, chores, ECs, etc?

- Short drive to school (private), so time not wasted there
- No job, focus is on sports and studies
- Not many chores other than picking up after themselves (I was the same, we had a daily maid who did our laundry growing up and I am now perfectly capable of keeping a great house, it's not hard to learn)
- Close friends who play sports plus do other activities
- Planning of schedule so as to maximize free time at school, etc.
- Family dinners, breakfasts, and my husband and I being flexible with our work to be able to drive them to and from sports or spend time when they're free

#1 is the highlighted along with what is HIGH level family support. They do nothing but school, family&friends, etc. They dont have daily or weekly chores, arent responsible for spending money and/or taking care of siblings, they never worry about money or enough gas or clothes or food.

And for the PP here - are you stating that you keep a clean home along with a FT job and no outsourcing whatsoever? Its not that cleaning is hard to learn it is having to do it ALL by yourself. People who come from these type of families typically dont suddenly get the legs taken out from under them- they go to college and never have a job unless they WANT extra money or do it for their resume/internships, they go to med/grad school after having entire summers at an "internship" or lowly paid lab job/summer intensive where they study for the GRE or MCAT (paid for by parents) while living at home and getting taken on vacations, they get their living expenses paid for including housing, their residency is supplemented by parental support/housing/grocery delivery, etc.

PP here - no, I have a maid who cleans the house but for five or so months starting last March my husband and I cleaned it all ourselves. My point is that I didn't need to learn how to clean a toilet or frankly even do laundry (again, not rocket science) before going to college and I survived doing my own laundry and cleaning my own room while in school and also doing both after graduation and during grad school before I had enough money to pay for a maid of my own. Some people seem to think that if you don't make your kids clean toilets when they're younger they won't be able to figure it out when they get older and that's kind of silly, in my opinion.

When I graduated from college I got a job where I worked for a few years before going to law school (which I paid for with student loans), so while I wouldn't say the legs were totally taken out from under me (I had a car that my parents had given me during high school in addition to remaining on their insurance until I was too old), but I didn't do an "internship" while living at home or in a parent-subsidized apartment or anything like that. Besides, I highly doubt there are a ton of Big 3 kids whose lives are all that different from mine growing up, so the idea of having a high level of family support wouldn't be surprising to me.

The point is that dine people don’t want kids with silver spoons sticking out their asses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. What a grind. Up until midnight or up at 5:00 am? That just sucks.

I agree. They will burn out by graduation and then either be the least interesting person graduating from their college(because they have never had a real life) or go wild once they are there.
They will become those deadpan baby face doctors who have no bedside manner and no real life experience so they can’t relate to patients.

Or become one of those managers whose direct supervisees are constantly quitting because the corporate culture says that "work-life balance" is just an excuse for laziness.

Not much concern here with raising total human beings, just well-tuned machines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is a straight A student at a Big3. She will get home from school and sports at 8pm and work until 11pm or midnight--no phone time, no messing around on the internet. Or she'll set her alarm for 4amor 5am and work 2 hours until 7am when she gets ready for school.

It's honestly weird for a kid to do this. My other kids are nothing like this and I'm not either. But this is the type of kid who thrives at these schools and there are many of them that just do it without a thought. There is a decent percentage of REALLY driven kids.

i'm sorry. this is messed up. even if she 'just does it without a thought'. sounds like a recipe for burnout and an unhappy, unbalanced life. sad.

That kind of sleep deprivation is going to have dire consequences, OP. You need to teach your child it's not a badge of honor to kill yourself for achievement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sleep, family time, time with friends, chores, ECs, etc?

- Short drive to school (private), so time not wasted there
- No job, focus is on sports and studies
- Not many chores other than picking up after themselves (I was the same, we had a daily maid who did our laundry growing up and I am now perfectly capable of keeping a great house, it's not hard to learn)
- Close friends who play sports plus do other activities
- Planning of schedule so as to maximize free time at school, etc.
- Family dinners, breakfasts, and my husband and I being flexible with our work to be able to drive them to and from sports or spend time when they're free

#1 is the highlighted along with what is HIGH level family support. They do nothing but school, family&friends, etc. They dont have daily or weekly chores, arent responsible for spending money and/or taking care of siblings, they never worry about money or enough gas or clothes or food.

And for the PP here - are you stating that you keep a clean home along with a FT job and no outsourcing whatsoever? Its not that cleaning is hard to learn it is having to do it ALL by yourself. People who come from these type of families typically dont suddenly get the legs taken out from under them- they go to college and never have a job unless they WANT extra money or do it for their resume/internships, they go to med/grad school after having entire summers at an "internship" or lowly paid lab job/summer intensive where they study for the GRE or MCAT (paid for by parents) while living at home and getting taken on vacations, they get their living expenses paid for including housing, their residency is supplemented by parental support/housing/grocery delivery, etc.

PP here - no, I have a maid who cleans the house but for five or so months starting last March my husband and I cleaned it all ourselves. My point is that I didn't need to learn how to clean a toilet or frankly even do laundry (again, not rocket science) before going to college and I survived doing my own laundry and cleaning my own room while in school and also doing both after graduation and during grad school before I had enough money to pay for a maid of my own. Some people seem to think that if you don't make your kids clean toilets when they're younger they won't be able to figure it out when they get older and that's kind of silly, in my opinion.

When I graduated from college I got a job where I worked for a few years before going to law school (which I paid for with student loans), so while I wouldn't say the legs were totally taken out from under me (I had a car that my parents had given me during high school in addition to remaining on their insurance until I was too old), but I didn't do an "internship" while living at home or in a parent-subsidized apartment or anything like that. Besides, I highly doubt there are a ton of Big 3 kids whose lives are all that different from mine growing up, so the idea of having a high level of family support wouldn't be surprising to me.

The point is that dine people don’t want kids with silver spoons sticking out their asses.

I don't and my kids don't but if you want to paint everyone with a broad brush then go ahead. Honestly you don't sound like a pleasant person to be around anyway.