Wouldn't it be easier for your child to stand out in an average/low rated school vs a high rated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UVA – 62 students
Virginia Tech 42
William and Mary 38
John Hopkins Univ 3
US Naval Academy 1
Georgetown 5
CalTech 1
Claremont McKenna 2
Harvey Mudd 2
Stanford 5
UC Berkeley 11
US Airforce Academy 2
Yale 4
US Coast Guard 1
U Chicago 6
U Illinois, Urbana 9
Amherst 1
Harvard 4
MIT 8
Williams College 1
Princeton 6
Columbia 4
Cornell 13
Duke 7
CMU 15
UPenn 6
Rice 3
Univ of Michigan 16
Brown 3
Wash Univ in St. Louis 4

The above is where more than half the class of 2017 went -- (not where they were admitted, which was even more impressive).

From which school?

I assumed it was TJ

[Anonymous]

And not even close to 50% ivy.

[Anonymous]

Being at a lower rated school has worked well for my child. She's in middle school now and she's a hard worker but not naturally brilliant. She was put into advanced math in elementary and I have no doubt she would not have been if we lived in the world of tiger mothers. She got into honors band without private lessons, she's a standout in her classes, and has a great record heading into high school. If she were in a very competitive school, there is no doubt in my mind she would not have been selected for these things and would not have had great experiences.

Sure, a kid who was top of a highly rated school will be better prepared for college than a kid who was top of a lower rated school. But for a kid like mine, the alternative would have been being an average student at a top school, not getting into advanced classes, feeling like she's not smart enough. She may face an adjustment when she gets into a more competitive college, but at least she'll have the opportunity to get there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being at a lower rated school has worked well for my child. She's in middle school now and she's a hard worker but not naturally brilliant. She was put into advanced math in elementary and I have no doubt she would not have been if we lived in the world of tiger mothers. She got into honors band without private lessons, she's a standout in her classes, and has a great record heading into high school. If she were in a very competitive school, there is no doubt in my mind she would not have been selected for these things and would not have had great experiences.

Sure, a kid who was top of a highly rated school will be better prepared for college than a kid who was top of a lower rated school. But for a kid like mine, the alternative would have been being an average student at a top school, not getting into advanced classes, feeling like she's not smart enough. She may face an adjustment when she gets into a more competitive college, but at least she'll have the opportunity to get there.

She’ll be fine. She’ll start slow and work into it. Much to the chagrin of tiger moms everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being at a lower rated school has worked well for my child. She's in middle school now and she's a hard worker but not naturally brilliant. She was put into advanced math in elementary and I have no doubt she would not have been if we lived in the world of tiger mothers. She got into honors band without private lessons, she's a standout in her classes, and has a great record heading into high school. If she were in a very competitive school, there is no doubt in my mind she would not have been selected for these things and would not have had great experiences.

Sure, a kid who was top of a highly rated school will be better prepared for college than a kid who was top of a lower rated school. But for a kid like mine, the alternative would have been being an average student at a top school, not getting into advanced classes, feeling like she's not smart enough. She may face an adjustment when she gets into a more competitive college, but at least she'll have the opportunity to get there.

So the only difference is that she'll get a dose of reality a bit later, and maybe that's best for her. Her "advanced classes" and "honors band" would have just been general education classes or intermediate band at another school, hardly an earth-shattering blow.

[Anonymous]

People need to "find their level," be comfortable with the choices, and not try to embellish by pretending that they've found some hidden gem where their snowflake can shine. All public schools have their issues, and most around here are big, too. No one is going to go out of their way to put Average Larla and Larlo on a pedestal.

[Anonymous]

My DS is a senior at a low rated school and here are my pros and cons of his experience:

Pros
He's definitely been able to develop leadership skills. He's captain of two varsity sports for two years. He's a section leader in band. At other highly rated schools, he probably would not have made varsity until junior year and possibly have even been cut. There is no way he would have been captain.
He is in the top 5% of his class. He has taken the most rigorous classes his school offers. He's had very small classes and has really developed strong relationships with his teachers. He has a great cohort of classmates that motivate him. Because he's a standout teacher, the administrators all know him and have been fabulous mentors for him. His SAT scores are great. We're still waiting to hear back from all the colleges he's applied to, but so far, he's gotten into every school he's applied to and received significant merit aid, so I don't think he has suffered academically.

Cons
His cohort is VERY SMALL (20 kids.) He has been restricted on what classes he takes because the school only offers one section of certain courses. There was only one section of French 4 and because he's in band (again only one section) that dictated what science he was going to take, which was not the science he wanted to take.
Most of the sports at his school are not very competitive and there is very little school spirit.
Its almost impossible to get parents to volunteer for anything.
DS has very few friends from school that he hangs out with. Most of his friends are kids he's met at other places, like his year round swim club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is a senior at a low rated school and here are my pros and cons of his experience:

Pros
He's definitely been able to develop leadership skills. He's captain of two varsity sports for two years. He's a section leader in band. At other highly rated schools, he probably would not have made varsity until junior year and possibly have even been cut. There is no way he would have been captain.
He is in the top 5% of his class. He has taken the most rigorous classes his school offers. He's had very small classes and has really developed strong relationships with his teachers. He has a great cohort of classmates that motivate him. Because he's a standout teacher, the administrators all know him and have been fabulous mentors for him. His SAT scores are great. We're still waiting to hear back from all the colleges he's applied to, but so far, he's gotten into every school he's applied to and received significant merit aid, so I don't think he has suffered academically.

Cons
His cohort is VERY SMALL (20 kids.) He has been restricted on what classes he takes because the school only offers one section of certain courses. There was only one section of French 4 and because he's in band (again only one section) that dictated what science he was going to take, which was not the science he wanted to take.
Most of the sports at his school are not very competitive and there is very little school spirit.
Its almost impossible to get parents to volunteer for anything.
DS has very few friends from school that he hangs out with. Most of his friends are kids he's met at other places, like his year round swim club.

This reminds me of my friends from Lee high school growing up in the 90’s. We were all friends from outside activities. I would suspect the school had a bit more school spirit and a somewhat larger cohort at the time, but this sounds like their experiences. Greats kids, and they did well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being at a lower rated school has worked well for my child. She's in middle school now and she's a hard worker but not naturally brilliant. She was put into advanced math in elementary and I have no doubt she would not have been if we lived in the world of tiger mothers. She got into honors band without private lessons, she's a standout in her classes, and has a great record heading into high school. If she were in a very competitive school, there is no doubt in my mind she would not have been selected for these things and would not have had great experiences.

Sure, a kid who was top of a highly rated school will be better prepared for college than a kid who was top of a lower rated school. But for a kid like mine, the alternative would have been being an average student at a top school, not getting into advanced classes, feeling like she's not smart enough. She may face an adjustment when she gets into a more competitive college, but at least she'll have the opportunity to get there.

No - she won’t be going to a more competitive college because her test scores will reflect the education that she has received. You can’t fake a good education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being at a lower rated school has worked well for my child. She's in middle school now and she's a hard worker but not naturally brilliant. She was put into advanced math in elementary and I have no doubt she would not have been if we lived in the world of tiger mothers. She got into honors band without private lessons, she's a standout in her classes, and has a great record heading into high school. If she were in a very competitive school, there is no doubt in my mind she would not have been selected for these things and would not have had great experiences.

Sure, a kid who was top of a highly rated school will be better prepared for college than a kid who was top of a lower rated school. But for a kid like mine, the alternative would have been being an average student at a top school, not getting into advanced classes, feeling like she's not smart enough. She may face an adjustment when she gets into a more competitive college, but at least she'll have the opportunity to get there.

She’ll be fine. She’ll start slow and work into it. Much to the chagrin of tiger moms everywhere.

Uh, no. She will end up in a very easy major in college because that’s all she will be able to do and she will earn less and have fewer career options to choose from. The Tiger mother’s wont see this kid because she’ll be at a lower level state school and their kid will be at Princeton, Columbia, Cal Tech, MIT, etc.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the child. I was a stand-out at a low-performing school, but I didn't learn the skills to overcome challenges when I got to college and I flunked out of my freshman year. My son, on the other hand, took a long time to learn to read and was overshadowed by high-performing students; his teacher moved him to a low-performing group, which boosted his confidence and he academically excelled. He's in a high-performing school now and is doing fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being at a lower rated school has worked well for my child. She's in middle school now and she's a hard worker but not naturally brilliant. She was put into advanced math in elementary and I have no doubt she would not have been if we lived in the world of tiger mothers. She got into honors band without private lessons, she's a standout in her classes, and has a great record heading into high school. If she were in a very competitive school, there is no doubt in my mind she would not have been selected for these things and would not have had great experiences.

Sure, a kid who was top of a highly rated school will be better prepared for college than a kid who was top of a lower rated school. But for a kid like mine, the alternative would have been being an average student at a top school, not getting into advanced classes, feeling like she's not smart enough. She may face an adjustment when she gets into a more competitive college, but at least she'll have the opportunity to get there.

No - she won’t be going to a more competitive college because her test scores will reflect the education that she has received. You can’t fake a good education.

You can certainly study for the test and get good scores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being at a lower rated school has worked well for my child. She's in middle school now and she's a hard worker but not naturally brilliant. She was put into advanced math in elementary and I have no doubt she would not have been if we lived in the world of tiger mothers. She got into honors band without private lessons, she's a standout in her classes, and has a great record heading into high school. If she were in a very competitive school, there is no doubt in my mind she would not have been selected for these things and would not have had great experiences.

Sure, a kid who was top of a highly rated school will be better prepared for college than a kid who was top of a lower rated school. But for a kid like mine, the alternative would have been being an average student at a top school, not getting into advanced classes, feeling like she's not smart enough. She may face an adjustment when she gets into a more competitive college, but at least she'll have the opportunity to get there.

She’ll be fine. She’ll start slow and work into it. Much to the chagrin of tiger moms everywhere.

Uh, no. She will end up in a very easy major in college because that’s all she will be able to do and she will earn less and have fewer career options to choose from. The Tiger mother’s wont see this kid because she’ll be at a lower level state school and their kid will be at Princeton, Columbia, Cal Tech, MIT, etc.

And maybe she’ll have excellent confidence and success in whatever and not be burned out by college and find a major that works for her and go on to a good career. I know several tiger mom kids who either dropped out of their competitive colleges or drank themselves to a 2.0 there. And certainly plenty of those who succeeded too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And not even close to 50% ivy.

What school -- other than maybe traditional ivy-feeder prep schools -- end up with 50% of kids going to Ivy league schools? And, why would you want them to or expect them to? My kids' HS class has 500 kids. If half of them -- 250 -- all went to Ivys that would be about 30 kids going to each of the 8 colleges in the Ivy league. Do you actually think any one Ivy is going to accept 30 kids from just ONE HS? Or that a student ranked 250 out of 500 kids should even be accepted to some of the most selective colleges in the country?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being at a lower rated school has worked well for my child. She's in middle school now and she's a hard worker but not naturally brilliant. She was put into advanced math in elementary and I have no doubt she would not have been if we lived in the world of tiger mothers. She got into honors band without private lessons, she's a standout in her classes, and has a great record heading into high school. If she were in a very competitive school, there is no doubt in my mind she would not have been selected for these things and would not have had great experiences.

Sure, a kid who was top of a highly rated school will be better prepared for college than a kid who was top of a lower rated school. But for a kid like mine, the alternative would have been being an average student at a top school, not getting into advanced classes, feeling like she's not smart enough. She may face an adjustment when she gets into a more competitive college, but at least she'll have the opportunity to get there.

No - she won’t be going to a more competitive college because her test scores will reflect the education that she has received. You can’t fake a good education.

You can certainly study for the test and get good scores.

No, you really can’t. You can fix a few easy to spot mistakes that you might be making but you can’t study your way to a great score.
If you want your kid to have more options in life send them to the better school. You really can’t catch up in college.