will St Albans tuition continue to rise 3K every year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is one reason I dont want our private to cater to kids with learning differences. Learning specialists are expensive and only work with a single or small group at a time. They are not money well spent especially if you have kids like mine who do not need, and have never needed, a learning specialist. People often posts about how its "wrong" or elitist for private schools to not make accommodations for kids with learning differences but the truth of the matter is that is just one more thing that raises costs. If your kid doesn't need it, its hard to stomach how much schools spend on it.

Put your kid in public then, problem solved. Oh, but wait, then all the kids needing accommodations will distract and detract from your DC's learning. Looks like you are totally screwed. It is a shame not everyone is perfect.

First, as others have pointed out, even if your child really is “practically perfect in every way,” your child benefits from a specialist who enables classrooms to remain rigorous and fast-paced. What others haven’t pointed out is that your child also benefits by learning to work with others with different learning styles. Kind of like he will have to do, oh I don’t know, for the rest of his life. Some of our greatest visionaries and CEO’s had learning “disabilities,” but maybe your son never wants to work at those companies? Perhaps you should write his career goals on his resume: “Seeks gainful employment with a firm comprised of members who have never struggled in school in any way and whose learning styles are identical to mine.”

Beyond that, wow—I hope nothing ever happens to you, ever. Perhaps you, or at least your child, walk around this earth and never encounter difficulties with studying, organizing, socializing, struggling with stress, achieving work-life balance, handling pressure, juggling other commitments, developing (gasp! Horror!) eye difficulties that make reading challenging, or god forbid EVER getting really sick and have to play catch up or at the very least balance physical illness and the pressure to complete work. Or maybe your child is super human and never needs help even if they develop these issues! As I mentioned, there are positive externalities—even for your child who never needs help—to having a specialist at school. Perhaps you don’t see those because you are either (a) actually in the care of such a perfect child that literally nothing might ever go wrong and even a slow-paced classroom wouldn’t mess that child up in the slightest; (b) willfully ignorant of the positive externalities that inure to your child both from having a robust classroom experience that is, in part, enabled by these specialists AND those positive externalities that inure to your child by being exposed to people with different learning styles—an exposure that will prove critical in that crazy real world that you can’t control for him and which is full with “not perfect” kids who had help and now run amazing companies; or (c) you are an insufferable person who believes that anyone who needs a slight bit of help in life is weak and unworthy of your child or your child’s school. To borrow from a relatively recent diatribe, maybe you prefer POW’s who “don’t get captured”...much less need help.

This is not a flame as I understand it—a quick, shot-from-the-hip response aimed at abusing the original poster without delving into substance. I thought a long time about whether to respond. I delve into the substance, and the post is intended as a challenge for the PP to think about what he/she said and how short-sighted and even cruel it is.

Thus, I do intend this as a call for you (1) to open your eyes and see the myriad ways in which a school specialist helping others has positive benefits for your child both in the classroom and in preparing your child to function alongside a diverse group of learning styles; and (2) broaden your perspective and think to yourself, “Hey, wait, yeah. What if my kid needed help with something, even small, one day? I’d sure want a specialist then. So why do I wish to begrudge others the same? Is it because I only see what benefits me right this second? Is it because I haven’t thought about it? Or, and I’m not accusing you of this, but is it because you actually have bias against kids who might not learn in the same way yours does? I’m not taking a position; you’re the only one who could answer those questions.

BTW, my child is not special needs and has not needed a specialist. But have a little humility. There but for the grace of God go we. There but for the grace of God...go you.

I am not the poster you are speaking to but I don’t think you get it. There are many many schools that are well suited for students with special needs as they have specialists and the support these students need. The top most rigorous schools are difficult enough for students without special needs. Why send a student there if they need help to just keep up and expect other parents to pay for the one on one accommodations? That can’t be good for anyone.

[Anonymous]

Because some kids are very very bright but need some fine tuning. The fact that they require a little more support should not bar their admittance. Quite the contrary. I expect a bit of extra support for say the mildly dyslexic child or the academically off the charts kid who has a hard time reading emotions and relating to the others. Should we begrudge the former kid access to a school psychologist because the tuition doesn't warrant it? No. Many many kids have different issues. It just seems that pp takes issue with certain kinds of "special needs." Perhaps pp should define special needs for the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is one reason I dont want our private to cater to kids with learning differences. Learning specialists are expensive and only work with a single or small group at a time. They are not money well spent especially if you have kids like mine who do not need, and have never needed, a learning specialist. People often posts about how its "wrong" or elitist for private schools to not make accommodations for kids with learning differences but the truth of the matter is that is just one more thing that raises costs. If your kid doesn't need it, its hard to stomach how much schools spend on it.

Put your kid in public then, problem solved. Oh, but wait, then all the kids needing accommodations will distract and detract from your DC's learning. Looks like you are totally screwed. It is a shame not everyone is perfect.

First, as others have pointed out, even if your child really is “practically perfect in every way,” your child benefits from a specialist who enables classrooms to remain rigorous and fast-paced. What others haven’t pointed out is that your child also benefits by learning to work with others with different learning styles. Kind of like he will have to do, oh I don’t know, for the rest of his life. Some of our greatest visionaries and CEO’s had learning “disabilities,” but maybe your son never wants to work at those companies? Perhaps you should write his career goals on his resume: “Seeks gainful employment with a firm comprised of members who have never struggled in school in any way and whose learning styles are identical to mine.”

Beyond that, wow—I hope nothing ever happens to you, ever. Perhaps you, or at least your child, walk around this earth and never encounter difficulties with studying, organizing, socializing, struggling with stress, achieving work-life balance, handling pressure, juggling other commitments, developing (gasp! Horror!) eye difficulties that make reading challenging, or god forbid EVER getting really sick and have to play catch up or at the very least balance physical illness and the pressure to complete work. Or maybe your child is super human and never needs help even if they develop these issues! As I mentioned, there are positive externalities—even for your child who never needs help—to having a specialist at school. Perhaps you don’t see those because you are either (a) actually in the care of such a perfect child that literally nothing might ever go wrong and even a slow-paced classroom wouldn’t mess that child up in the slightest; (b) willfully ignorant of the positive externalities that inure to your child both from having a robust classroom experience that is, in part, enabled by these specialists AND those positive externalities that inure to your child by being exposed to people with different learning styles—an exposure that will prove critical in that crazy real world that you can’t control for him and which is full with “not perfect” kids who had help and now run amazing companies; or (c) you are an insufferable person who believes that anyone who needs a slight bit of help in life is weak and unworthy of your child or your child’s school. To borrow from a relatively recent diatribe, maybe you prefer POW’s who “don’t get captured”...much less need help.

This is not a flame as I understand it—a quick, shot-from-the-hip response aimed at abusing the original poster without delving into substance. I thought a long time about whether to respond. I delve into the substance, and the post is intended as a challenge for the PP to think about what he/she said and how short-sighted and even cruel it is.

Thus, I do intend this as a call for you (1) to open your eyes and see the myriad ways in which a school specialist helping others has positive benefits for your child both in the classroom and in preparing your child to function alongside a diverse group of learning styles; and (2) broaden your perspective and think to yourself, “Hey, wait, yeah. What if my kid needed help with something, even small, one day? I’d sure want a specialist then. So why do I wish to begrudge others the same? Is it because I only see what benefits me right this second? Is it because I haven’t thought about it? Or, and I’m not accusing you of this, but is it because you actually have bias against kids who might not learn in the same way yours does? I’m not taking a position; you’re the only one who could answer those questions.

BTW, my child is not special needs and has not needed a specialist. But have a little humility. There but for the grace of God go we. There but for the grace of God...go you.

I am not the poster you are speaking to but I don’t think you get it. There are many many schools that are well suited for students with special needs as they have specialists and the support these students need. The top most rigorous schools are difficult enough for students without special needs. Why send a student there if they need help to just keep up and expect other parents to pay for the one on one accommodations? That can’t be good for anyone.

Define “special needs.” Is it really such a narrow category that no rigorous school could benefit from a specialist? Again, in my experience, it’s not as if specialists are only helping students who need “accommodations.” Define accommodations. What about tutors? Is that an accommodation? If so, then your problem isn’t with accommodations, it’s with having to help someone else. Study aides, including medicines? Again, if you’re ok with that, then your problem is with someone having to help someone else, given that personalized psychiatrists are an internalized cost. So what is a “special need” pp? What is, in your mind, an “accommodation?” And is that all this specialist helps with, while the rest of you pour money into one student’s education with no benefit or potential benefit for your own child? Is this specialist only available for this one child, at great cost, and never a resource for other students whose educational experience is “difficult enough . . . Without special needs?” Please explain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because some kids are very very bright but need some fine tuning. The fact that they require a little more support should not bar their admittance. Quite the contrary. I expect a bit of extra support for say the mildly dyslexic child or the academically off the charts kid who has a hard time reading emotions and relating to the others. Should we begrudge the former kid access to a school psychologist because the tuition doesn't warrant it? No. Many many kids have different issues. It just seems that pp takes issue with certain kinds of "special needs." Perhaps pp should define special needs for the rest of us.

New poster here. You are missing the point. Certain schools are very rigorous and that’s what some like about them. They are not intended for kids with dyslexia or special needs so why are you trying to change schools? Some schools do not want to change. That is their prerogative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because some kids are very very bright but need some fine tuning. The fact that they require a little more support should not bar their admittance. Quite the contrary. I expect a bit of extra support for say the mildly dyslexic child or the academically off the charts kid who has a hard time reading emotions and relating to the others. Should we begrudge the former kid access to a school psychologist because the tuition doesn't warrant it? No. Many many kids have different issues. It just seems that pp takes issue with certain kinds of "special needs." Perhaps pp should define special needs for the rest of us.

School admittance is about being a good fit with the school and what it offers. It takes being more than bright to be a good fit with certain schools. It doesn’t mean special needs students are not bright but certain schools have no accommodations for special needs and they do not intend to change that.

[Anonymous]

Dyslexia, like so many other things, is on a very broad spectrum. Previous posters you are ignorant. As others have stated, there is no perfect student. Specialists help the whole student body even your precious perfect child, you just don’t realize or appreciate it. And that’s why we pay 40 plus k a year. Perhaps we should enlarge classes and do away with extra staff like public’s because really it’s just such a waste and unfair to students who thrive in a bigger environment with fewer teachers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is one reason I dont want our private to cater to kids with learning differences. Learning specialists are expensive and only work with a single or small group at a time. They are not money well spent especially if you have kids like mine who do not need, and have never needed, a learning specialist. People often posts about how its "wrong" or elitist for private schools to not make accommodations for kids with learning differences but the truth of the matter is that is just one more thing that raises costs. If your kid doesn't need it, its hard to stomach how much schools spend on it.

Put your kid in public then, problem solved. Oh, but wait, then all the kids needing accommodations will distract and detract from your DC's learning. Looks like you are totally screwed. It is a shame not everyone is perfect.

First, as others have pointed out, even if your child really is “practically perfect in every way,” your child benefits from a specialist who enables classrooms to remain rigorous and fast-paced. What others haven’t pointed out is that your child also benefits by learning to work with others with different learning styles. Kind of like he will have to do, oh I don’t know, for the rest of his life. Some of our greatest visionaries and CEO’s had learning “disabilities,” but maybe your son never wants to work at those companies? Perhaps you should write his career goals on his resume: “Seeks gainful employment with a firm comprised of members who have never struggled in school in any way and whose learning styles are identical to mine.”

Beyond that, wow—I hope nothing ever happens to you, ever. Perhaps you, or at least your child, walk around this earth and never encounter difficulties with studying, organizing, socializing, struggling with stress, achieving work-life balance, handling pressure, juggling other commitments, developing (gasp! Horror!) eye difficulties that make reading challenging, or god forbid EVER getting really sick and have to play catch up or at the very least balance physical illness and the pressure to complete work. Or maybe your child is super human and never needs help even if they develop these issues! As I mentioned, there are positive externalities—even for your child who never needs help—to having a specialist at school. Perhaps you don’t see those because you are either (a) actually in the care of such a perfect child that literally nothing might ever go wrong and even a slow-paced classroom wouldn’t mess that child up in the slightest; (b) willfully ignorant of the positive externalities that inure to your child both from having a robust classroom experience that is, in part, enabled by these specialists AND those positive externalities that inure to your child by being exposed to people with different learning styles—an exposure that will prove critical in that crazy real world that you can’t control for him and which is full with “not perfect” kids who had help and now run amazing companies; or (c) you are an insufferable person who believes that anyone who needs a slight bit of help in life is weak and unworthy of your child or your child’s school. To borrow from a relatively recent diatribe, maybe you prefer POW’s who “don’t get captured”...much less need help.

This is not a flame as I understand it—a quick, shot-from-the-hip response aimed at abusing the original poster without delving into substance. I thought a long time about whether to respond. I delve into the substance, and the post is intended as a challenge for the PP to think about what he/she said and how short-sighted and even cruel it is.

Thus, I do intend this as a call for you (1) to open your eyes and see the myriad ways in which a school specialist helping others has positive benefits for your child both in the classroom and in preparing your child to function alongside a diverse group of learning styles; and (2) broaden your perspective and think to yourself, “Hey, wait, yeah. What if my kid needed help with something, even small, one day? I’d sure want a specialist then. So why do I wish to begrudge others the same? Is it because I only see what benefits me right this second? Is it because I haven’t thought about it? Or, and I’m not accusing you of this, but is it because you actually have bias against kids who might not learn in the same way yours does? I’m not taking a position; you’re the only one who could answer those questions.

BTW, my child is not special needs and has not needed a specialist. But have a little humility. There but for the grace of God go we. There but for the grace of God...go you.

I am not the poster you are speaking to but I don’t think you get it. There are many many schools that are well suited for students with special needs as they have specialists and the support these students need. The top most rigorous schools are difficult enough for students without special needs. Why send a student there if they need help to just keep up and expect other parents to pay for the one on one accommodations? That can’t be good for anyone.

Define “special needs.” Is it really such a narrow category that no rigorous school could benefit from a specialist? Again, in my experience, it’s not as if specialists are only helping students who need “accommodations.” Define accommodations. What about tutors? Is that an accommodation? If so, then your problem isn’t with accommodations, it’s with having to help someone else. Study aides, including medicines? Again, if you’re ok with that, then your problem is with someone having to help someone else, given that personalized psychiatrists are an internalized cost. So what is a “special need” pp? What is, in your mind, an “accommodation?” And is that all this specialist helps with, while the rest of you pour money into one student’s education with no benefit or potential benefit for your own child? Is this specialist only available for this one child, at great cost, and never a resource for other students whose educational experience is “difficult enough . . . Without special needs?” Please explain.

Why are you trying to change schools? Certain schools have the brand that they admit top students who can handle a very very rigorous curriculum without extra help. It sounds like you want to admit students that need extra help to stay at the school and therefore that changes what the school is offering. If the school doesn’t have the specialist you were asking for then don’t apply to that school. You should go to a school where they have specialists your child needs. It is very simple. To be honest, I think the person that has the issue is you. It sounds like you don’t want to admit that your child may not be a good fit for the top most rigorous schools and you don’t seem to be at peace with that. If I were you I would get at peace with that very soon. I’m sure you have a very bright and wonderful child and just because a big three school may not be a good fit for them doesn’t mean they are not wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Not the pp to whom you were referring but you seem to be deliberately missing the point. Even the most rigorous schools with the best and brightest can benefit from specialists. Whether it be in reading, math, organization, etc. no one is trying to change a particular school. Truth be told, their is more support at the big three then posters are letting on. It’s a strength not a weakness. Also, I think we are all getting hung up on the word specialist. At given time a child, even the brightest, may need extra help and I think we can all agree that for how much we are paying we should expect that our kids get that help. All the anti specialist parents are unknowingly making a very good case for magnet and charter public’s. What exactly are private offering that are so phenomenal? Signed a big three grad with a big three student.

[Anonymous]

Let me help you here: Not everyone and perhaps very few pay the full price. It's just like college tuition. If you pay full price for one of the "Little Ivies" you're fool. They soak those that can to help those that can't. Is it justified? Up to a certain point it is and given that tuition is still rising it obvious that the certain point hasn't been reached. Only thing we've done is to cut back on our annual fund giving.

[Anonymous]

What’s your point? What difference does it make whether Someone’s paying the full tuition or not? Presumably, for those who aren’t paying the full tuition it is still huge financial sacrifice. Or least that’s the way it supposed to be. And thank you, as someone who’s paying full tuition I will make sure to let the board know how many people have told me what a fool i am. Presumably, for those who aren’t paying the full tuition it is still a huge financial sacrifice. Or least that’s the way it supposed to be. And thank you, as someone who’s paying full tuition. Perhaps if enough of us full pay parents expose how the financial aidders are taking advantage of the system, there won’t be as much in the pool for you all. I’m guessing though that you are a unique one and others aren’t taking advantage of the system or at least that’s my sincerest hope. Because that is cheating and that is dishonest and you should feel ashamed and bad if that’s in fact what you were doing. Wonderful example for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is one reason I dont want our private to cater to kids with learning differences. Learning specialists are expensive and only work with a single or small group at a time. They are not money well spent especially if you have kids like mine who do not need, and have never needed, a learning specialist. People often posts about how its "wrong" or elitist for private schools to not make accommodations for kids with learning differences but the truth of the matter is that is just one more thing that raises costs. If your kid doesn't need it, its hard to stomach how much schools spend on it.

Put your kid in public then, problem solved. Oh, but wait, then all the kids needing accommodations will distract and detract from your DC's learning. Looks like you are totally screwed. It is a shame not everyone is perfect.

First, as others have pointed out, even if your child really is “practically perfect in every way,” your child benefits from a specialist who enables classrooms to remain rigorous and fast-paced. What others haven’t pointed out is that your child also benefits by learning to work with others with different learning styles. Kind of like he will have to do, oh I don’t know, for the rest of his life. Some of our greatest visionaries and CEO’s had learning “disabilities,” but maybe your son never wants to work at those companies? Perhaps you should write his career goals on his resume: “Seeks gainful employment with a firm comprised of members who have never struggled in school in any way and whose learning styles are identical to mine.”

Beyond that, wow—I hope nothing ever happens to you, ever. Perhaps you, or at least your child, walk around this earth and never encounter difficulties with studying, organizing, socializing, struggling with stress, achieving work-life balance, handling pressure, juggling other commitments, developing (gasp! Horror!) eye difficulties that make reading challenging, or god forbid EVER getting really sick and have to play catch up or at the very least balance physical illness and the pressure to complete work. Or maybe your child is super human and never needs help even if they develop these issues! As I mentioned, there are positive externalities—even for your child who never needs help—to having a specialist at school. Perhaps you don’t see those because you are either (a) actually in the care of such a perfect child that literally nothing might ever go wrong and even a slow-paced classroom wouldn’t mess that child up in the slightest; (b) willfully ignorant of the positive externalities that inure to your child both from having a robust classroom experience that is, in part, enabled by these specialists AND those positive externalities that inure to your child by being exposed to people with different learning styles—an exposure that will prove critical in that crazy real world that you can’t control for him and which is full with “not perfect” kids who had help and now run amazing companies; or (c) you are an insufferable person who believes that anyone who needs a slight bit of help in life is weak and unworthy of your child or your child’s school. To borrow from a relatively recent diatribe, maybe you prefer POW’s who “don’t get captured”...much less need help.

This is not a flame as I understand it—a quick, shot-from-the-hip response aimed at abusing the original poster without delving into substance. I thought a long time about whether to respond. I delve into the substance, and the post is intended as a challenge for the PP to think about what he/she said and how short-sighted and even cruel it is.

Thus, I do intend this as a call for you (1) to open your eyes and see the myriad ways in which a school specialist helping others has positive benefits for your child both in the classroom and in preparing your child to function alongside a diverse group of learning styles; and (2) broaden your perspective and think to yourself, “Hey, wait, yeah. What if my kid needed help with something, even small, one day? I’d sure want a specialist then. So why do I wish to begrudge others the same? Is it because I only see what benefits me right this second? Is it because I haven’t thought about it? Or, and I’m not accusing you of this, but is it because you actually have bias against kids who might not learn in the same way yours does? I’m not taking a position; you’re the only one who could answer those questions.

BTW, my child is not special needs and has not needed a specialist. But have a little humility. There but for the grace of God go we. There but for the grace of God...go you.

I am not the poster you are speaking to but I don’t think you get it. There are many many schools that are well suited for students with special needs as they have specialists and the support these students need. The top most rigorous schools are difficult enough for students without special needs. Why send a student there if they need help to just keep up and expect other parents to pay for the one on one accommodations? That can’t be good for anyone.

Define “special needs.” Is it really such a narrow category that no rigorous school could benefit from a specialist? Again, in my experience, it’s not as if specialists are only helping students who need “accommodations.” Define accommodations. What about tutors? Is that an accommodation? If so, then your problem isn’t with accommodations, it’s with having to help someone else. Study aides, including medicines? Again, if you’re ok with that, then your problem is with someone having to help someone else, given that personalized psychiatrists are an internalized cost. So what is a “special need” pp? What is, in your mind, an “accommodation?” And is that all this specialist helps with, while the rest of you pour money into one student’s education with no benefit or potential benefit for your own child? Is this specialist only available for this one child, at great cost, and never a resource for other students whose educational experience is “difficult enough . . . Without special needs?” Please explain.

Why are you trying to change schools? Certain schools have the brand that they admit top students who can handle a very very rigorous curriculum without extra help. It sounds like you want to admit students that need extra help to stay at the school and therefore that changes what the school is offering. If the school doesn’t have the specialist you were asking for then don’t apply to that school. You should go to a school where they have specialists your child needs. It is very simple. To be honest, I think the person that has the issue is you. It sounds like you don’t want to admit that your child may not be a good fit for the top most rigorous schools and you don’t seem to be at peace with that. If I were you I would get at peace with that very soon. I’m sure you have a very bright and wonderful child and just because a big three school may not be a good fit for them doesn’t mean they are not wonderful.

As many others noted, you are deliberately missing the point. I have no desire to change the schools. You do. The specialists are already there. You just don't want to pay for a specialist who is already there, seemingly because his/her existence interferes with your perception of a school full of mythical perfect learners and your desire for zero shared costs for what you believe are non-universal services. So it is you seeking change, first of all. Second, and again, again, again: Specialists help all, including the best and brightest. You just wish not to pay for it, and instead of having that cost/benefit debate, you resort to maligning any child who might even consider using a specialist as "Not Bright" or "not rigorous.". It is you, however, who seems to lack rigor.

In truth, the only one who needs to come to grips with things is you. In particular, you need to come to grips with the fact that: 1) a person might see the value in a specialist without having a child who "needs" one in the way you suggest, even for the very bright and rigorous child, OFTEN for the very bright and rigorous child; and 2) you are willfully obtuse and unwilling to engage the issue, instead resorting to the very basest level of discourse--telling someone else that their policy opinions about education are invalid because their child must not be bright or rigorous. If that's the line of reasoning we were to stoop to, then maybe one would say that you need to come to grips with the fact that you have a bright child whose parents are just too poor to afford the school without changing it. See how awful, tacky, and intellectually empty that line of reasoning is? Thus far, however, you have demonstrated that precise level of distastefulness and intellectual vacuousness.

Now, can we talk about the actual value of certain things we're asked to pay for without calling someone else's child dumb? I would like to see that.

Signed, someone whose bright child is not even connected to this debate (and is thriving at a school that's very hard to get into, whose name is always thrown around here), but who can see value in having resources for even very bright and studious children in having a specialist. Maybe let's try debating that instead of insulting children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is one reason I dont want our private to cater to kids with learning differences. Learning specialists are expensive and only work with a single or small group at a time. They are not money well spent especially if you have kids like mine who do not need, and have never needed, a learning specialist. People often posts about how its "wrong" or elitist for private schools to not make accommodations for kids with learning differences but the truth of the matter is that is just one more thing that raises costs. If your kid doesn't need it, its hard to stomach how much schools spend on it.

Put your kid in public then, problem solved. Oh, but wait, then all the kids needing accommodations will distract and detract from your DC's learning. Looks like you are totally screwed. It is a shame not everyone is perfect.

First, as others have pointed out, even if your child really is “practically perfect in every way,” your child benefits from a specialist who enables classrooms to remain rigorous and fast-paced. What others haven’t pointed out is that your child also benefits by learning to work with others with different learning styles. Kind of like he will have to do, oh I don’t know, for the rest of his life. Some of our greatest visionaries and CEO’s had learning “disabilities,” but maybe your son never wants to work at those companies? Perhaps you should write his career goals on his resume: “Seeks gainful employment with a firm comprised of members who have never struggled in school in any way and whose learning styles are identical to mine.”

Beyond that, wow—I hope nothing ever happens to you, ever. Perhaps you, or at least your child, walk around this earth and never encounter difficulties with studying, organizing, socializing, struggling with stress, achieving work-life balance, handling pressure, juggling other commitments, developing (gasp! Horror!) eye difficulties that make reading challenging, or god forbid EVER getting really sick and have to play catch up or at the very least balance physical illness and the pressure to complete work. Or maybe your child is super human and never needs help even if they develop these issues! As I mentioned, there are positive externalities—even for your child who never needs help—to having a specialist at school. Perhaps you don’t see those because you are either (a) actually in the care of such a perfect child that literally nothing might ever go wrong and even a slow-paced classroom wouldn’t mess that child up in the slightest; (b) willfully ignorant of the positive externalities that inure to your child both from having a robust classroom experience that is, in part, enabled by these specialists AND those positive externalities that inure to your child by being exposed to people with different learning styles—an exposure that will prove critical in that crazy real world that you can’t control for him and which is full with “not perfect” kids who had help and now run amazing companies; or (c) you are an insufferable person who believes that anyone who needs a slight bit of help in life is weak and unworthy of your child or your child’s school. To borrow from a relatively recent diatribe, maybe you prefer POW’s who “don’t get captured”...much less need help.

This is not a flame as I understand it—a quick, shot-from-the-hip response aimed at abusing the original poster without delving into substance. I thought a long time about whether to respond. I delve into the substance, and the post is intended as a challenge for the PP to think about what he/she said and how short-sighted and even cruel it is.

Thus, I do intend this as a call for you (1) to open your eyes and see the myriad ways in which a school specialist helping others has positive benefits for your child both in the classroom and in preparing your child to function alongside a diverse group of learning styles; and (2) broaden your perspective and think to yourself, “Hey, wait, yeah. What if my kid needed help with something, even small, one day? I’d sure want a specialist then. So why do I wish to begrudge others the same? Is it because I only see what benefits me right this second? Is it because I haven’t thought about it? Or, and I’m not accusing you of this, but is it because you actually have bias against kids who might not learn in the same way yours does? I’m not taking a position; you’re the only one who could answer those questions.

BTW, my child is not special needs and has not needed a specialist. But have a little humility. There but for the grace of God go we. There but for the grace of God...go you.

I am not the poster you are speaking to but I don’t think you get it. There are many many schools that are well suited for students with special needs as they have specialists and the support these students need. The top most rigorous schools are difficult enough for students without special needs. Why send a student there if they need help to just keep up and expect other parents to pay for the one on one accommodations? That can’t be good for anyone.

Define “special needs.” Is it really such a narrow category that no rigorous school could benefit from a specialist? Again, in my experience, it’s not as if specialists are only helping students who need “accommodations.” Define accommodations. What about tutors? Is that an accommodation? If so, then your problem isn’t with accommodations, it’s with having to help someone else. Study aides, including medicines? Again, if you’re ok with that, then your problem is with someone having to help someone else, given that personalized psychiatrists are an internalized cost. So what is a “special need” pp? What is, in your mind, an “accommodation?” And is that all this specialist helps with, while the rest of you pour money into one student’s education with no benefit or potential benefit for your own child? Is this specialist only available for this one child, at great cost, and never a resource for other students whose educational experience is “difficult enough . . . Without special needs?” Please explain.

Why are you trying to change schools? Certain schools have the brand that they admit top students who can handle a very very rigorous curriculum without extra help. It sounds like you want to admit students that need extra help to stay at the school and therefore that changes what the school is offering. If the school doesn’t have the specialist you were asking for then don’t apply to that school. You should go to a school where they have specialists your child needs. It is very simple. To be honest, I think the person that has the issue is you. It sounds like you don’t want to admit that your child may not be a good fit for the top most rigorous schools and you don’t seem to be at peace with that. If I were you I would get at peace with that very soon. I’m sure you have a very bright and wonderful child and just because a big three school may not be a good fit for them doesn’t mean they are not wonderful.

As many others noted, you are deliberately missing the point. I have no desire to change the schools. You do. The specialists are already there. You just don't want to pay for a specialist who is already there, seemingly because his/her existence interferes with your perception of a school full of mythical perfect learners and your desire for zero shared costs for what you believe are non-universal services. So it is you seeking change, first of all. Second, and again, again, again: Specialists help all, including the best and brightest. You just wish not to pay for it, and instead of having that cost/benefit debate, you resort to maligning any child who might even consider using a specialist as "Not Bright" or "not rigorous.". It is you, however, who seems to lack rigor.

In truth, the only one who needs to come to grips with things is you. In particular, you need to come to grips with the fact that: 1) a person might see the value in a specialist without having a child who "needs" one in the way you suggest, even for the very bright and rigorous child, OFTEN for the very bright and rigorous child; and 2) you are willfully obtuse and unwilling to engage the issue, instead resorting to the very basest level of discourse--telling someone else that their policy opinions about education are invalid because their child must not be bright or rigorous. If that's the line of reasoning we were to stoop to, then maybe one would say that you need to come to grips with the fact that you have a bright child whose parents are just too poor to afford the school without changing it. See how awful, tacky, and intellectually empty that line of reasoning is? Thus far, however, you have demonstrated that precise level of distastefulness and intellectual vacuousness.

Now, can we talk about the actual value of certain things we're asked to pay for without calling someone else's child dumb? I would like to see that.

Signed, someone whose bright child is not even connected to this debate (and is thriving at a school that's very hard to get into, whose name is always thrown around here), but who can see value in having resources for even very bright and studious children in having a specialist. Maybe let's try debating that instead of insulting children.

Huh? What are you ranting about? A previous poster was complaining about not having specialists at certain schools and that is what people were replying to. She wanted special accommodations that were not already there. I have no issue with the current situation at our school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:This is one reason I dont want our private to cater to kids with learning differences. Learning specialists are expensive and only work with a single or small group at a time. They are not money well spent especially if you have kids like mine who do not need, and have never needed, a learning specialist. People often posts about how its "wrong" or elitist for private schools to not make accommodations for kids with learning differences but the truth of the matter is that is just one more thing that raises costs. If your kid doesn't need it, its hard to stomach how much schools spend on it.

Put your kid in public then, problem solved. Oh, but wait, then all the kids needing accommodations will distract and detract from your DC's learning. Looks like you are totally screwed. It is a shame not everyone is perfect.

First, as others have pointed out, even if your child really is “practically perfect in every way,” your child benefits from a specialist who enables classrooms to remain rigorous and fast-paced. What others haven’t pointed out is that your child also benefits by learning to work with others with different learning styles. Kind of like he will have to do, oh I don’t know, for the rest of his life. Some of our greatest visionaries and CEO’s had learning “disabilities,” but maybe your son never wants to work at those companies? Perhaps you should write his career goals on his resume: “Seeks gainful employment with a firm comprised of members who have never struggled in school in any way and whose learning styles are identical to mine.”

Beyond that, wow—I hope nothing ever happens to you, ever. Perhaps you, or at least your child, walk around this earth and never encounter difficulties with studying, organizing, socializing, struggling with stress, achieving work-life balance, handling pressure, juggling other commitments, developing (gasp! Horror!) eye difficulties that make reading challenging, or god forbid EVER getting really sick and have to play catch up or at the very least balance physical illness and the pressure to complete work. Or maybe your child is super human and never needs help even if they develop these issues! As I mentioned, there are positive externalities—even for your child who never needs help—to having a specialist at school. Perhaps you don’t see those because you are either (a) actually in the care of such a perfect child that literally nothing might ever go wrong and even a slow-paced classroom wouldn’t mess that child up in the slightest; (b) willfully ignorant of the positive externalities that inure to your child both from having a robust classroom experience that is, in part, enabled by these specialists AND those positive externalities that inure to your child by being exposed to people with different learning styles—an exposure that will prove critical in that crazy real world that you can’t control for him and which is full with “not perfect” kids who had help and now run amazing companies; or (c) you are an insufferable person who believes that anyone who needs a slight bit of help in life is weak and unworthy of your child or your child’s school. To borrow from a relatively recent diatribe, maybe you prefer POW’s who “don’t get captured”...much less need help.

This is not a flame as I understand it—a quick, shot-from-the-hip response aimed at abusing the original poster without delving into substance. I thought a long time about whether to respond. I delve into the substance, and the post is intended as a challenge for the PP to think about what he/she said and how short-sighted and even cruel it is.

Thus, I do intend this as a call for you (1) to open your eyes and see the myriad ways in which a school specialist helping others has positive benefits for your child both in the classroom and in preparing your child to function alongside a diverse group of learning styles; and (2) broaden your perspective and think to yourself, “Hey, wait, yeah. What if my kid needed help with something, even small, one day? I’d sure want a specialist then. So why do I wish to begrudge others the same? Is it because I only see what benefits me right this second? Is it because I haven’t thought about it? Or, and I’m not accusing you of this, but is it because you actually have bias against kids who might not learn in the same way yours does? I’m not taking a position; you’re the only one who could answer those questions.

BTW, my child is not special needs and has not needed a specialist. But have a little humility. There but for the grace of God go we. There but for the grace of God...go you.

I am not the poster you are speaking to but I don’t think you get it. There are many many schools that are well suited for students with special needs as they have specialists and the support these students need. The top most rigorous schools are difficult enough for students without special needs. Why send a student there if they need help to just keep up and expect other parents to pay for the one on one accommodations? That can’t be good for anyone.

Define “special needs.” Is it really such a narrow category that no rigorous school could benefit from a specialist? Again, in my experience, it’s not as if specialists are only helping students who need “accommodations.” Define accommodations. What about tutors? Is that an accommodation? If so, then your problem isn’t with accommodations, it’s with having to help someone else. Study aides, including medicines? Again, if you’re ok with that, then your problem is with someone having to help someone else, given that personalized psychiatrists are an internalized cost. So what is a “special need” pp? What is, in your mind, an “accommodation?” And is that all this specialist helps with, while the rest of you pour money into one student’s education with no benefit or potential benefit for your own child? Is this specialist only available for this one child, at great cost, and never a resource for other students whose educational experience is “difficult enough . . . Without special needs?” Please explain.

Why are you trying to change schools? Certain schools have the brand that they admit top students who can handle a very very rigorous curriculum without extra help. It sounds like you want to admit students that need extra help to stay at the school and therefore that changes what the school is offering. If the school doesn’t have the specialist you were asking for then don’t apply to that school. You should go to a school where they have specialists your child needs. It is very simple. To be honest, I think the person that has the issue is you. It sounds like you don’t want to admit that your child may not be a good fit for the top most rigorous schools and you don’t seem to be at peace with that. If I were you I would get at peace with that very soon. I’m sure you have a very bright and wonderful child and just because a big three school may not be a good fit for them doesn’t mean they are not wonderful.

As many others noted, you are deliberately missing the point. I have no desire to change the schools. You do. The specialists are already there. You just don't want to pay for a specialist who is already there, seemingly because his/her existence interferes with your perception of a school full of mythical perfect learners and your desire for zero shared costs for what you believe are non-universal services. So it is you seeking change, first of all. Second, and again, again, again: Specialists help all, including the best and brightest. You just wish not to pay for it, and instead of having that cost/benefit debate, you resort to maligning any child who might even consider using a specialist as "Not Bright" or "not rigorous.". It is you, however, who seems to lack rigor.

In truth, the only one who needs to come to grips with things is you. In particular, you need to come to grips with the fact that: 1) a person might see the value in a specialist without having a child who "needs" one in the way you suggest, even for the very bright and rigorous child, OFTEN for the very bright and rigorous child; and 2) you are willfully obtuse and unwilling to engage the issue, instead resorting to the very basest level of discourse--telling someone else that their policy opinions about education are invalid because their child must not be bright or rigorous. If that's the line of reasoning we were to stoop to, then maybe one would say that you need to come to grips with the fact that you have a bright child whose parents are just too poor to afford the school without changing it. See how awful, tacky, and intellectually empty that line of reasoning is? Thus far, however, you have demonstrated that precise level of distastefulness and intellectual vacuousness.

Now, can we talk about the actual value of certain things we're asked to pay for without calling someone else's child dumb? I would like to see that.

Signed, someone whose bright child is not even connected to this debate (and is thriving at a school that's very hard to get into, whose name is always thrown around here), but who can see value in having resources for even very bright and studious children in having a specialist. Maybe let's try debating that instead of insulting children.

Huh? What are you ranting about? A previous poster was complaining about not having specialists at certain schools and that is what people were replying to. She wanted special accommodations that were not already there. I have no issue with the current situation at our school.

Are you the correct poster? There is NO PP requesting special accommodations. There IS a PP who was complaining about the rise in STA tuition, and that poster blamed it on the fact that the school had a specialist that “normal” children didn’t need. That is what I was responding to. I do not see any post discussing what you are. No one has been asking for specialists. All have been defending them against someone who didn’t want their tuition dollars going to one.