Who is using all these preschools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School for Friends goes all day and year round.

AND is NAEYC Accredited! And in general a wonderful place for kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WEALTHY is a word reserved for an elite and select few. Don't confuse well-off with wealthy. Wealthy is the Obamas, Bushes, Clintons, Hiltons, and the Pitts. These people can do whatever whenever and could all quit their day jobs, never work a day again in their lives and still live in decadence. We would last a year before the bank came along and took everything. I'm the 170k/yr poster. My DH brings in 125k of it. We are one major medical emergency away from poverty. If he can't work, how long do you think this "wealthy" family would survive on my 45k?We are currently comfortable and HAPPY with what we have, but like so many Americans in this area at our salary, we could not survive terribly long on our savings. This is a reality and this does not put us into the WEALTHY category.

Given this, I think you are being irresponsible to your family spending so much on childcare.

[Anonymous]

I really hope this thread does not degenerate into a fight about what "wealthy" means, and who might be wealthy. I think we'll all have a lot more productive discussion if we agree to avoid labels like "wealthy" or "well off" or "poor" in this discussion.

The median household income in DC is $53,000. That's means half the households are making a combined income of less than $53,000. To someone in one of those households, I suspect $100,000/year sounds pretty "wealthy." But by the same token, if you're making a combined income of $200,000/year, and paying the taxes and the school costs and the mortgage, you sure don't feel wealthy. It's all relative.

To keep the discussion from falling apart, I suggest that instead of using flexible terms like "wealthy" or "middle-income," posters here should just state the general income range you mean. That will allow everyone to participate without confusion about the terms. For example, instead of asking "How does a not-wealthy family afford daycare?," try asking "How does a family making $100-150k afford daycare?"

Just a suggestion. I've seen this same confusion start several times on DCUM, and thought we might avoid it here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I make a combined salary of over $170k, but we have almost no savings. Given the economy and the widespread layoffs, I think the lack of a healthy nest egg is what prevents us from choosing the more expensive care options for our DC. Sure, we have sufficient disposable income today to make ends meet if we were to hire a nanny rather than go through daycare, but if either of us loses our job or if we get hit with some other sort of bombshell, things would go south really fast. We have a big mortgage on a house we could never sell in this market, and it would only take a few months of delinquency to push us into serious debt. This way we can gradually build a very modest nest egg in anticipation of a rainy day. It's what's right for our family at this time. Very personal decision and not worth judging others if they see things differently....

Whose fault is that? Why didn't you stay w/in your means? I can't feel sorry for you or others in your shoes b/c you're financially irresponsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I make a combined salary of over $170k, but we have almost no savings. Given the economy and the widespread layoffs, I think the lack of a healthy nest egg is what prevents us from choosing the more expensive care options for our DC. Sure, we have sufficient disposable income today to make ends meet if we were to hire a nanny rather than go through daycare, but if either of us loses our job or if we get hit with some other sort of bombshell, things would go south really fast. We have a big mortgage on a house we could never sell in this market, and it would only take a few months of delinquency to push us into serious debt. This way we can gradually build a very modest nest egg in anticipation of a rainy day. It's what's right for our family at this time. Very personal decision and not worth judging others if they see things differently....

Whose fault is that? Why didn't you stay w/in your means? I can't feel sorry for you or others in your shoes b/c you're financially irresponsible.

Ummm..... not asking you to feel sorry for me. I'm actually feeling pretty content.

[Anonymous]

Why is someone only makinf 53k per year so irresponsible for taking a mortgage of 1k/mo when if they lost their job they would be one step away form bankruptcy? Maybe that 53k person would have gone to college, that would have been responsible, so they could be a billionair, like the 170k person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I make a combined salary of over $170k, but we have almost no savings. Given the economy and the widespread layoffs, I think the lack of a healthy nest egg is what prevents us from choosing the more expensive care options for our DC. Sure, we have sufficient disposable income today to make ends meet if we were to hire a nanny rather than go through daycare, but if either of us loses our job or if we get hit with some other sort of bombshell, things would go south really fast. We have a big mortgage on a house we could never sell in this market, and it would only take a few months of delinquency to push us into serious debt. This way we can gradually build a very modest nest egg in anticipation of a rainy day. It's what's right for our family at this time. Very personal decision and not worth judging others if they see things differently....

Whose fault is that? Why didn't you stay w/in your means? I can't feel sorry for you or others in your shoes b/c you're financially irresponsible.

Ummm..... not asking you to feel sorry for me. I'm actually feeling pretty content.

Ummmm - if you reread what I posted, I said I can't feel sorry for you. So I don't. You seem pretty content knowing that you're a few months shy of delinquency if your husband lost his job. Hope for the best b/c in this economy losing jobs is more the norm.

[Anonymous]

Sorry to interrupt the wealthy/poor discussion.

But just to make apoint abut play-based preschools (and daycares, too)

What is important in kids' lives is BOTH free play (within limits, do what you want) and "structured" or "guided" play (play that the teacher really pays attention to, to encourage imagination, role playing, problem solving.)

In a true "play based" preschool (or daycare) care should be taken in areas such as the "dress up" corner, the "house" corner, the "blocks" corner to encourage 3 and 4 year olds to develop their abilities to plan ahead, to make up and act out stories using their imaginations and just a few props, to interact with other children and involve them in the pretend play, and to add more details to their pretend play from stories that they are reading or hearing during circle time.

The skills young chidlren develop during this type of play really does appear to carry over to their school aged years.

[Anonymous]

What's wrong with the play-based model? I can understand that a child who goes to pre-school might "get with the program" quicker than one who doesn't, but a non-pre-schooler will soon get up to speed. In fact, my daughter, who has never gone to pre-school, did fine in kindergarten and is doing well in 1st grade.

[Anonymous]

The play based model is wonderful... has anyone read the recent NYT article about kindergarten? Keep strict acedemics out of early education is ideal, kids should be taught how to think for themselves and be creative!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WEALTHY is a word reserved for an elite and select few. Don't confuse well-off with wealthy. Wealthy is the Obamas, Bushes, Clintons, Hiltons, and the Pitts. These people can do whatever whenever and could all quit their day jobs, never work a day again in their lives and still live in decadence. We would last a year before the bank came along and took everything. I'm the 170k/yr poster. My DH brings in 125k of it. We are one major medical emergency away from poverty. If he can't work, how long do you think this "wealthy" family would survive on my 45k?

We are currently comfortable and HAPPY with what we have, but like so many Americans in this area at our salary, we could not survive terribly long on our savings. This is a reality and this does not put us into the WEALTHY category.

agreed. I am the $340k+ plus poster. I take in $130k and my husband, a independent consultant who works insane hours, makes anywhere from 2-3times my salary. We are well-off, but by no means wealthy. We budget, we save, we pour $ into our kids 529 college accounts...but we worked hard to get where we are and we are both frugal as h*ll. We have no inheritance and I still wait for the old navy, gap sales for kids clothes and sell old baby stuff on craigs list. We lived in dc in a very tiny house in a good neighborhood and now are renting until we find somethign bigger and comfortably affordable. my one condition is being able to walk everywhere but we totally couldnt afford a house where we are renting now or where wer formerly lived...1.5mill range for a small house which still needs renovation. We don't have debt and we live sooooooo muvh more frugally then our friends that make 1/3 our salary that are always bragging about their german cars and louis vutton bags, etc... it makes me sick. We have this mortgage crisis due to ppl's greed and trying to live beyond their means. my husband was 30 before he bought his first car because he wanted to make sure every dime of his student loans were paid off. neither of us came from $ so we don't deserve the envy or the tude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WEALTHY is a word reserved for an elite and select few. Don't confuse well-off with wealthy. Wealthy is the Obamas, Bushes, Clintons, Hiltons, and the Pitts. These people can do whatever whenever and could all quit their day jobs, never work a day again in their lives and still live in decadence. We would last a year before the bank came along and took everything. I'm the 170k/yr poster. My DH brings in 125k of it. We are one major medical emergency away from poverty. If he can't work, how long do you think this "wealthy" family would survive on my 45k?We are currently comfortable and HAPPY with what we have, but like so many Americans in this area at our salary, we could not survive terribly long on our savings. This is a reality and this does not put us into the WEALTHY category.

Given this, I think you are being irresponsible to your family spending so much on childcare.

Actually, I'm pretty responsible, as I mentioned earlier, we could live a year, but that is not a long time, nor does it qualify me as wealthy.

I'd rather have the LUXURY of paying an extra $1,700/mo in order to gain more time with my family. I can guarantee you that if I paid the the 1,700 less it would cost to put my kids in daycare (which paying 2K/mo for 2 children in daycare is really low, if even attainable) I would end up spending at least some of that money on houskeeping services and dining out, which thankfully our nanny helps relieve. It would not go to emergency money. Also, no matter how much I scrimped, my 45K/year salary would not get our family very far each month, I don't think ANY family of 4, even in small town USA, would fare too well on 45k/yr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WEALTHY is a word reserved for an elite and select few. Don't confuse well-off with wealthy. Wealthy is the Obamas, Bushes, Clintons, Hiltons, and the Pitts. These people can do whatever whenever and could all quit their day jobs, never work a day again in their lives and still live in decadence. We would last a year before the bank came along and took everything. I'm the 170k/yr poster. My DH brings in 125k of it. We are one major medical emergency away from poverty. If he can't work, how long do you think this "wealthy" family would survive on my 45k?We are currently comfortable and HAPPY with what we have, but like so many Americans in this area at our salary, we could not survive terribly long on our savings. This is a reality and this does not put us into the WEALTHY category.

Given this, I think you are being irresponsible to your family spending so much on childcare.

Actually, I'm pretty responsible, as I mentioned earlier, we could live a year, but that is not a long time, nor does it qualify me as wealthy.

I'd rather have the LUXURY of paying an extra $1,700/mo in order to gain more time with my family. I can guarantee you that if I paid the the 1,700 less it would cost to put my kids in daycare (which paying 2K/mo for 2 children in daycare is really low, if even attainable) I would end up spending at least some of that money on houskeeping services and dining out, which thankfully our nanny helps relieve. It would not go to emergency money. Also, no matter how much I scrimped, my 45K/year salary would not get our family very far each month, I don't think ANY family of 4, even in small town USA, would fare too well on 45k/yr.

Don't feed the troll - clearly the previous poster is trying to egg folks on by saying your approach, and that of others, is financially irresponsible. Sounds to me like you've thought it through carefully enough and made a choice that you're comfortable with. That's all that matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WEALTHY is a word reserved for an elite and select few. Don't confuse well-off with wealthy. Wealthy is the Obamas, Bushes, Clintons, Hiltons, and the Pitts. These people can do whatever whenever and could all quit their day jobs, never work a day again in their lives and still live in decadence. We would last a year before the bank came along and took everything. I'm the 170k/yr poster. My DH brings in 125k of it. We are one major medical emergency away from poverty. If he can't work, how long do you think this "wealthy" family would survive on my 45k?We are currently comfortable and HAPPY with what we have, but like so many Americans in this area at our salary, we could not survive terribly long on our savings. This is a reality and this does not put us into the WEALTHY category.

Given this, I think you are being irresponsible to your family spending so much on childcare.

Actually, I'm pretty responsible, as I mentioned earlier, we could live a year, but that is not a long time, nor does it qualify me as wealthy.

I'd rather have the LUXURY of paying an extra $1,700/mo in order to gain more time with my family. I can guarantee you that if I paid the the 1,700 less it would cost to put my kids in daycare (which paying 2K/mo for 2 children in daycare is really low, if even attainable) I would end up spending at least some of that money on houskeeping services and dining out, which thankfully our nanny helps relieve. It would not go to emergency money. Also, no matter how much I scrimped, my 45K/year salary would not get our family very far each month, I don't think ANY family of 4, even in small town USA, would fare too well on 45k/yr.

Well, you already put in caps the most important point- it is a luxury. And that is the point. I think what is upsetting people is that you were very high and mighty in one of your first posts about how it's a choice and sacrifice to have your kids have a nanny and preschool. This isn't the choice most people would make.

And, frankly, you are spending more on childcare than you are bringing in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WEALTHY is a word reserved for an elite and select few. Don't confuse well-off with wealthy. Wealthy is the Obamas, Bushes, Clintons, Hiltons, and the Pitts. These people can do whatever whenever and could all quit their day jobs, never work a day again in their lives and still live in decadence. We would last a year before the bank came along and took everything. I'm the 170k/yr poster. My DH brings in 125k of it. We are one major medical emergency away from poverty. If he can't work, how long do you think this "wealthy" family would survive on my 45k?We are currently comfortable and HAPPY with what we have, but like so many Americans in this area at our salary, we could not survive terribly long on our savings. This is a reality and this does not put us into the WEALTHY category.

Given this, I think you are being irresponsible to your family spending so much on childcare.

Actually, I'm pretty responsible, as I mentioned earlier, we could live a year, but that is not a long time, nor does it qualify me as wealthy.

I'd rather have the LUXURY of paying an extra $1,700/mo in order to gain more time with my family. I can guarantee you that if I paid the the 1,700 less it would cost to put my kids in daycare (which paying 2K/mo for 2 children in daycare is really low, if even attainable) I would end up spending at least some of that money on houskeeping services and dining out, which thankfully our nanny helps relieve. It would not go to emergency money. Also, no matter how much I scrimped, my 45K/year salary would not get our family very far each month, I don't think ANY family of 4, even in small town USA, would fare too well on 45k/yr.

Don't feed the troll - clearly the previous poster is trying to egg folks on by saying your approach, and that of others, is financially irresponsible. Sounds to me like you've thought it through carefully enough and made a choice that you're comfortable with. That's all that matters.

I have no problem with people making the choices that they are most comfortable with. But the 170k poster thinks her choice is the better one for others. There are clearly downsides to her choice and one of them (not the only one) is that it is out of reach for the vast majority of people.