So tired of "my child is so bored in K"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyway... back on track here. Isn't it sort of pretentious for a parent-- only 2 weeks into school -- to declare that her daughter will be bored for all of K? I think some people are really delusional about their own children's abilities.

Yes, there are some examples of true genius. But more rare than we think.

It's not pretentious. It's just silly. Ideally it's a misconception that will correct itself with time.

Or, you know, not. My son (the one who suggested different teaching techniques to his teacher) became more and more disengaged as the school year went on. By spring, it was awful, and he was incredibly depressed and anxious. A FIVE YEAR OLD, depressed over how awful school is. I promise you it wasn't "silly" or a "misconception" that corrected itself over time. On the contrary, the longer he was in that environment, the more he exhausted his coping resources.

Moving on to first grade, we thought he had a teacher who understood was supposed to understand gifted kids. Nope, not at all. Here was her take on math, in particular: because my son was not completing the base work, he was not ready for more complicated work. The base work was completing a number roll - writing the numbers 1 - 1000 on ten sheets of grid paper. The theory was that this taught number relationships - revealed the great mystery that 29 is in the same column as 19, that kind of thing - and thus was an essential building block to the first grade experience. My kid just could not bring himself to complete this thing. It finally got sent home, and I implored him to complete it. He'd sit at the table, holding his pencil, write a few numbers, and just zone out. It was misery. What finally worked for him? Turning it into something that required thought. "Fill in the square that is nine more. Now a square that is two tens more. Now three squares that are minus three from there." When we told the teacher that engaging him at a higher level got him back "into" the work, she was VERY unhappy with us, because that wasn't the assignment. The assignment was for my child to write, in order, the numbers 1-1000 on ten sheets of grid paper. Apparently we totally ruined it when we gave him a way to make it interesting and therefore not paralyze him with boredom.

My kid is good at math, but I wouldn't say gifted, and that assignment would have bored him to death as well. Although your "fix" would have frustrated him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It those situations she can always find a word for each letter. Choose a theme! Animal names? Count by 2s! Make a song out of it.

I'm not being contrary, PP. And, I'm not the PP above. Just sharing some of the tactics I've used to get through homework assignments. I was G&T tracked at a young age and learned to create fun for myself. I'd list a whole bunch of three digit numbers and add them up, while the other kids finished an assignment that I'd already completed. In high school, I remember using the end pages of the blue book to write out sonnets I'd memorized because we all had to stay in the testing room until time was up. You find a way, PP. I was taught that it was impolite to complain and unfair to those who needed that exercise or time, so I had to get creative.

Were you not bored while you were adding three-digit numbers and writing down sonnets you'd memorized? Or were you merely less bored than you would otherwise have been?

I resorted to these things and spent time expanding on whatever the topic at hand was in order to stay occupied. I was really into fairy tales when I was a small child and read through our local library's shelves on stories from around the world. So, Aesop's Fables to the Greek and Roman gods, Swedish and Yiddish folk tales---I read them all. I'd take things from class and use what I was learning elsewhere to make it more interesting for myself. Later, I studied the ancient world at home and used that to add interest in class. I got in trouble for humming in class as a kid because I'd play classical music in my head while focused on handwriting. I'd use the periodic table to "play" in class when we did our spelling work. I can't remember being "less bored." From what I remember, this tactic saved me from ever being bored. I was content having my imagination to apply in these classroom settings. Call it a coping mechanism, if you will. I mean, how do any of us get through departmental meetings? As an adult, I enjoy watching office politics play out or working through a list in my head. I'm guilty of playing the country name game at work or naming books on a certain theme while sitting through a presentation. I did this with African motherhood the other day, while my (university) students prepped for an in-class assignment. What do any of us do when putting away groceries or vacuuming? Isn't it all the same thing?

So, you are projecting your interest and experiences as the ideal for what it should be for kids who have very different interests. My kid has no interest in Aesop's Fables. He is more interested in learning geography, higher level math and a few other things. So, in your class because that is what you are interested in, that works for all? You are basically encouraging kids to check out with daydreaming and creating their own little worlds rather than engaging and stimulating them. I send my kid to school to learn. K. is supposed to provide a strong foundation and learning to daydream and check out because the foundations my child needs are not taught is not a good start to academics. My kid needs help writing paragraphs, spelling, higher level math, and more complex topics in science. Teachers need to get to know their students, understand where they are at and meet those individual needs. I don't want my child coping. I want my child learning.

Nope. I'm relating my personal story, demonstrating how I handled being "the bright child" in a standard educational setting. I imagine everyone works differently.

Are you always this angry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kids are so gifted, why not skip a grade?

1. My son is already one of the youngest in his grade. As a summer birthday boy, he was sent on time, whereas many of his classmates were held back.
2. Social immaturity often accompanies giftedness, or social maturity may be on par with age but well below intellectual ability
3. In my son's immersion school, they believed kids could not handle grade acceleration because they had not been taught the language vocabulary covered in the previous grade. Never mind that a kid who can advance a grade might just be able to learn at a rate far more rapid than average.
4. Social ostracism. "You skipped a grade? You're five, you're a baby!"

[Anonymous]

You are missing the point, especially as a teacher. Yes, there is learning in that but you are choosing that based off your interests. Kids need a variety, not just fairy tales that interest the teacher. I want my child to have a balance of what they are interested in and meeting the learning objective designed for children his age. He would do the fairy tales but it is not what he would enjoy right now. You are clearly all or nothing and my way or nothing. There are clear foundation skills in reading, writing, and math that child need to achieve and the earlier they grasp those concepts the easier it is long term.

First, you are responding to a different poster than you think. I was posting as a parent--not a teacher--who may think that classical lit is a better use of my kid's time than geography. (And, actually, I was just using that as an example). The point is that we all have different desires and points of view.

And, if you are talking about foundational skills in reading, writing, and math, then Aesop's Fables may be more significant than geography--although, I personally enjoy geography and think it is important.
I'm still trying to figure out how you expect the teacher to accommodate your desires for geography vs another parent who loves Aesop's, and, perhaps, a third who wants an emphasis on history. I would think that all could be useful.

FWIW, as a child, I hated it when my fifth grade teacher had a passion for Greek mythology. I never especially enjoyed it. Most of the kids loved it. So, I guess she should have skipped that part of the curriculum. After all, I didn't like it. And, guess what? When I had kids of my own--they LOVED Greek mythology.

The point is, that if you want to control what your kid does in school, I suggest you home school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kids are so gifted, why not skip a grade?

1. My son is already one of the youngest in his grade. As a summer birthday boy, he was sent on time, whereas many of his classmates were held back.
2. Social immaturity often accompanies giftedness, or social maturity may be on par with age but well below intellectual ability
3. In my son's immersion school, they believed kids could not handle grade acceleration because they had not been taught the language vocabulary covered in the previous grade. Never mind that a kid who can advance a grade might just be able to learn at a rate far more rapid than average.
4. Social ostracism. "You skipped a grade? You're five, you're a baby!"

Be thankful your child is at the school he is at and they are not advancing him. The school knows better than you if that is what you'd hoped would have happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kids are so gifted, why not skip a grade?

1. My son is already one of the youngest in his grade. As a summer birthday boy, he was sent on time, whereas many of his classmates were held back.
2. Social immaturity often accompanies giftedness, or social maturity may be on par with age but well below intellectual ability
3. In my son's immersion school, they believed kids could not handle grade acceleration because they had not been taught the language vocabulary covered in the previous grade. Never mind that a kid who can advance a grade might just be able to learn at a rate far more rapid than average.
4. Social ostracism. "You skipped a grade? You're five, you're a baby!"

Be thankful your child is at the school he is at and they are not advancing him. The school knows better than you if that is what you'd hoped would have happened.

You've successfully demonstrated that you're a complete moron.

We are no longer at the school. It was literally destroying my child to be in that environment. (Ever seen extreme depression, self-hate, and anxiety in a five year old? It's crushing.) He's now in a program for highly/profoundly gifted children where ALL work is well above "grade level". Mixed grade classroom, so he's somewhere between grade accelerated and still with age mates.

Staying at his K school would have been a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kids are so gifted, why not skip a grade?

1. My son is already one of the youngest in his grade. As a summer birthday boy, he was sent on time, whereas many of his classmates were held back.
2. Social immaturity often accompanies giftedness, or social maturity may be on par with age but well below intellectual ability
3. In my son's immersion school, they believed kids could not handle grade acceleration because they had not been taught the language vocabulary covered in the previous grade. Never mind that a kid who can advance a grade might just be able to learn at a rate far more rapid than average.
4. Social ostracism. "You skipped a grade? You're five, you're a baby!"

Be thankful your child is at the school he is at and they are not advancing him. The school knows better than you if that is what you'd hoped would have happened.

You've successfully demonstrated that you're a complete moron.

We are no longer at the school. It was literally destroying my child to be in that environment. (Ever seen extreme depression, self-hate, and anxiety in a five year old? It's crushing.) He's now in a program for highly/profoundly gifted children where ALL work is well above "grade level". Mixed grade classroom, so he's somewhere between grade accelerated and still with age mates.

Staying at his K school would have been a nightmare.

I assume you mean you put him in private. Glad you found a place for him for your sake.

[Anonymous]

Responding to PP: it's actually a public school, not a private. Special program within the school (not in DC - we moved out of DC a number of years ago).

[Anonymous]

Here's another dynamic that hasn't been mentioned-- redshirting. It's interesting that you have the "K is so boring, K is so basic, all you do is count and trace letters" contingent...and at the same time, you are constantly hearing that if you don't redshirt your child, he will be way behind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only boring people are bored.

This again? I always assumed this statement was first made by a dullard who imagined him/herself to be quite engaging.

Tell me, truly, when you're sitting in a three hour mandatory training session on the compny handbook, not once might you become...bored?

Not if you play word bingo with your colleagues. In my last job, I developed a program for creating randomized bingo boards with the most common corporate lingo thrown around by our managers (sustainable, collaborative, green, etc.). My colleagues and I hid the sheets in our notebooks during long meetings and would mark off squares when the key words were spoken. It was fun looking around the room, as we mouthed to each other how close we were. After, we'd go out for lunch or happy hour later and treat the winner.

See? You can make something boring something fun.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused why so many parents of bored, gifted kids left them in their boring classrooms with their uninspired teachers. Only one parent says they moved their kid to get a better environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused why so many parents of bored, gifted kids left them in their boring classrooms with their uninspired teachers. Only one parent says they moved their kid to get a better environment.

I'm the parent who moved her kid.

My guess as to why most people don't move their bored, gifted kid is because they don't have a lot of options. Private school is unaffordable for most. Another public may be no better, or may be unrealistic in terms of transportation. It's not as if there are ten lovely schools from which to choose, all of which are affordable, available, a realistically could fit into a family's life.

For us to move our child, we sold our home and moved to an entirely new city and school district. It wasn't as easy as just walking into a new school, signing up, and starting fresh the next day. It took a lot of effort and we were fortunate we could invest the time and resources to make it happen.