Birthday party expenses are outrageous

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Why does a child need to invite the entire class to a birthday party?

I have never understood this.

At our school the policy is that either invitations are passed to all the kids or none. We can't just invite a couple of kids from the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I'd do a modest birthday party for DD turning 6. Not like our friends throwing thousand dollar parties with open bar and costumed characters entertainment.

$250 - booking a 3 hour pool party at the local, very nice YMCA facility.
$100 - I'm spending on paper plates, table cloths, hanging decorations,

When I order cake and buy all the food I'll add another $100.

Birthday presents will be another $100 - 150.

So the birthday is going to cost us about $500 at the end of the day. Isn't that crazy?

costumed character entertainment don't generally cost that much

Yes they do

[Anonymous]

I used to do birthday parties at home because we have a nice yard and the kids could do run around, and then one year it rained and having it inside was a nightmare. So now I've been having them in the fellowship hall of our church and it's wonderful. Our church does not charge the members to use the room, you have to reserve it in advance but it's a nice space with tables and chairs, clean bathrooms, a nice kitchen attached, there is everything you need. So I don't have to worry about bad weather and I can allocate more money to others things, like an entertainer. I keep the party to 90 minutes, I don't really do decorations, but have crafts, plenty of food and drinks and usually an entertainer. I also don't do gift bags often, most of those mini playdohs, etc just are a waste.

[Anonymous]

I would just have my child invite his/her 3-4 closest friends and do a sleepover. They can watch movies/netflix. Pay for pizza,snacks, and a cake. It shouldn't cost all that much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a multitude of reasons why we pay $500+ for birthday parties for the kids.

- Parks are unpredictable, they can be crowded, the grounds can be muddy, there is a lot of setup and take down. Wind, sun, sweat, bugs, dogs, dirty bathrooms, etc. No.

- At home is great except for the liability. We have a pool and a huge yard, we can certainly rent some yard game activity equipment. But I will not want any kids to get hurt on my property. I will gladly pay for the insurance of renting someone else's facilities. Our kids are well behaved in our home, but I do not want to risk breaking valuables due to a ton of kids running around. And again, the setup, take down, clean up, trash, pee on the powder room floor. No.

- I want to expose my kids to the feeling of a big party/celebration. When they were young, we had small intimate family-only birthday parties. We still celebrate each of their birthdays separately in private like that, but it's important for them to not miss out on the feeling and atmosphere of large parties. After they've gone to a couple of large parties of their friends, they want to experience the same thing on their own birthdays.

I agree with this poster. We can afford it and my kids have winter birthdays.

You sound like a barrel of laughs.

Why did you have kids?

I just don't want to be stressed out with having to do all the prep and deal with the uncertainty of having a park birthday okay? We have family cookouts and picnics so we are no strangers to doing that. But I refuse to deal with it within the context of 15-20 screaming children.

The liability issue is serious. People are sue happy these days. You just never know. I am not going to take a chance on getting myself involved in a lawsuit because I want to save a few hundred dollars. It's a different world than when we were kids.

[Anonymous]

Entirely your choice, OP.

[Anonymous]

I just totaled all party related expenses for our most recent party for our 7 year old and it was almost $800 from start to finish. It sounds like a lot but I really don't see where I could have cut anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just totaled all party related expenses for our most recent party for our 7 year old and it was almost $800 from start to finish. It sounds like a lot but I really don't see where I could have cut anything.

Happiness, you could have cut happiness. Less happiness = less money.

I am joking of course. We all make choices on what we spend based on whether we think it's "worth it". If you think it's worth it, and can afford it, then you will see it as something you'll pay for and won't cut. A close friend has a very modest income and has 4 kids, she says she can't afford expensive birthdays for her kids. I am on "cake duty" for the youngest two of her kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why does a child need to invite the entire class to a birthday party?

I have never understood this.

At our school the policy is that either invitations are passed to all the kids or none. We can't just invite a couple of kids from the class.

So do an evite or mail invitations maybe? Our school has the same policy, so we didn't hand out the invitations at school. DS has 21 kids in his pre-K class, and we just couldn't accommodate all of them. The ones who weren't invited didn't know anything about it, and all was fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But can we go back to the open bar thing? If you're going to drop a wad on a kids' birthday party, that seems like the most worthwhile expense.

Heh - I've followed this thread but haven't posted b/c we spend way too much also (but we have twins so, hey, it's a combined party, maybe the same price as if we had two separate parties?). $250 for the bounce house, $250 for the face painter/ balloon twister. I guess we don't have the do the face painter but while half of the kids are in the bounce house, the other half are over with the face painter (watching whoever is getting their face done at the moment and waiting their turn) and I like the balloons as a party favor b/c the kids love them and the best part is that they go away soon! My kids have tons of gift bags w/ little tchatkes that they want to keep but never really use. So. Many. Things. So having the balloon twister make the kids balloons in lieu of giving gift bags is my gift to the parents.

Yeah, so on top of that will be the cakes ($15ish each from the store), snacks, and pizzas - and we need a lot since we invite all their daycare friends and kids they play with from the neighborhood. And since parents stay, we need several bottles of wine and a few cases of beer.

TL;DR - come over to my house on party day for the open bar

Wondering if anyone has any balloon twister recommendations for a kids' party in the Bethesda/Chevy Chase area?

[Anonymous]

My kids are 6 & 8. Over the years, we've probably been to close to 100 birthday parties at various venues. I'd be willing to bet the average party cost around $500 once you include food, drinks, venue, party favors, etc. We're not talking fancy parties here. Even the simple parties at homes probably cost a couple hundred. We had two parties at home- both times I ended up spending more than I would have spent had we done them at an outside venue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a multitude of reasons why we pay $500+ for birthday parties for the kids.

- Parks are unpredictable, they can be crowded, the grounds can be muddy, there is a lot of setup and take down. Wind, sun, sweat, bugs, dogs, dirty bathrooms, etc. No.

- At home is great except for the liability. We have a pool and a huge yard, we can certainly rent some yard game activity equipment. But I will not want any kids to get hurt on my property. I will gladly pay for the insurance of renting someone else's facilities. Our kids are well behaved in our home, but I do not want to risk breaking valuables due to a ton of kids running around. And again, the setup, take down, clean up, trash, pee on the powder room floor. No.

- I want to expose my kids to the feeling of a big party/celebration. When they were young, we had small intimate family-only birthday parties. We still celebrate each of their birthdays separately in private like that, but it's important for them to not miss out on the feeling and atmosphere of large parties. After they've gone to a couple of large parties of their friends, they want to experience the same thing on their own birthdays.

You sound like a barrel of laughs.

Why did you have kids?

I just don't want to be stressed out with having to do all the prep and deal with the uncertainty of having a park birthday okay? We have family cookouts and picnics so we are no strangers to doing that. But I refuse to deal with it within the context of 15-20 screaming children.

The liability issue is serious. People are sue happy these days. You just never know. I am not going to take a chance on getting myself involved in a lawsuit because I want to save a few hundred dollars. It's a different world than when we were kids.

I get you, PP. My kid's b-day is in April, so I can't have a park b-day because the weather is unpredictable. But even if it wasn't, it's a pain in the ass to schlep everything to the park. Plus, park b-days aren't that fun. I would much rather pay some venue to host the party for me, where I know the kids will have fun (rain or shine). It's worth $500+ to me to know the party will be a success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
So do an evite or mail invitations maybe? Our school has the same policy, so we didn't hand out the invitations at school. DS has 21 kids in his pre-K class, and we just couldn't accommodate all of them. The ones who weren't invited didn't know anything about it, and all was fine.

It doesn't seem fair. They are going to talk about it later.
- I went to X's birthday
- I didn't get invited

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a multitude of reasons why we pay $500+ for birthday parties for the kids.

- Parks are unpredictable, they can be crowded, the grounds can be muddy, there is a lot of setup and take down. Wind, sun, sweat, bugs, dogs, dirty bathrooms, etc. No.

- At home is great except for the liability. We have a pool and a huge yard, we can certainly rent some yard game activity equipment. But I will not want any kids to get hurt on my property. I will gladly pay for the insurance of renting someone else's facilities. Our kids are well behaved in our home, but I do not want to risk breaking valuables due to a ton of kids running around. And again, the setup, take down, clean up, trash, pee on the powder room floor. No.

- I want to expose my kids to the feeling of a big party/celebration. When they were young, we had small intimate family-only birthday parties. We still celebrate each of their birthdays separately in private like that, but it's important for them to not miss out on the feeling and atmosphere of large parties. After they've gone to a couple of large parties of their friends, they want to experience the same thing on their own birthdays.

You sound like a barrel of laughs.

Why did you have kids?

I just don't want to be stressed out with having to do all the prep and deal with the uncertainty of having a park birthday okay? We have family cookouts and picnics so we are no strangers to doing that. But I refuse to deal with it within the context of 15-20 screaming children.

The liability issue is serious. People are sue happy these days. You just never know. I am not going to take a chance on getting myself involved in a lawsuit because I want to save a few hundred dollars. It's a different world than when we were kids.

Lawyer here. Do you not have homeowners' insurance? With the kind of assets you are insinuating that you have, you should really have an umbrella policy. if you get sued, your insurance carrier will provide counsel and pay any judgment or settlement. The first thing I did when we started to have any assets at all was to make sure we were well-insured.

Also, FWIW, I worked as in-house defense counsel for a major insurance company for 12 years. During that time I litigated hundreds upon hundreds of cases, involving everything from dog bites to slip-and-falls to an icicle falling on someone's head (literally). I never once came across a claim or suit filed as the result of a birthday party or other gathering of children at someone's home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a multitude of reasons why we pay $500+ for birthday parties for the kids.

- Parks are unpredictable, they can be crowded, the grounds can be muddy, there is a lot of setup and take down. Wind, sun, sweat, bugs, dogs, dirty bathrooms, etc. No.

- At home is great except for the liability. We have a pool and a huge yard, we can certainly rent some yard game activity equipment. But I will not want any kids to get hurt on my property. I will gladly pay for the insurance of renting someone else's facilities. Our kids are well behaved in our home, but I do not want to risk breaking valuables due to a ton of kids running around. And again, the setup, take down, clean up, trash, pee on the powder room floor. No.

- I want to expose my kids to the feeling of a big party/celebration. When they were young, we had small intimate family-only birthday parties. We still celebrate each of their birthdays separately in private like that, but it's important for them to not miss out on the feeling and atmosphere of large parties. After they've gone to a couple of large parties of their friends, they want to experience the same thing on their own birthdays.

You sound like a barrel of laughs.

Why did you have kids?

I just don't want to be stressed out with having to do all the prep and deal with the uncertainty of having a park birthday okay? We have family cookouts and picnics so we are no strangers to doing that. But I refuse to deal with it within the context of 15-20 screaming children.

The liability issue is serious. People are sue happy these days. You just never know. I am not going to take a chance on getting myself involved in a lawsuit because I want to save a few hundred dollars. It's a different world than when we were kids.

Lawyer here. Do you not have homeowners' insurance? With the kind of assets you are insinuating that you have, you should really have an umbrella policy. if you get sued, your insurance carrier will provide counsel and pay any judgment or settlement. The first thing I did when we started to have any assets at all was to make sure we were well-insured.

Also, FWIW, I worked as in-house defense counsel for a major insurance company for 12 years. During that time I litigated hundreds upon hundreds of cases, involving everything from dog bites to slip-and-falls to an icicle falling on someone's head (literally). I never once came across a claim or suit filed as the result of a birthday party or other gathering of children at someone's home.

PP here. I agree that a lot of our fears and concerns are irrational in the eyes of seasoned experts who navigate those waters on a daily basis. We have worked very very hard to get to where we are at, and we do have umbrella policies and very good auto/home policies to help us sleep at night. I understand that the risk of being sued is low, and lower still to have exposure above and beyond the policy limits. But just being named in a suit would seriously affect our life. We are not strangers to going through the stress of a personal injury lawsuit - an older person was walking on the sidewalk, fell, near the intersection where we were stopped waiting to turn on a red light. She claimed we bumped her. Wife was paying attention to the road, I was riding shotgun and saw her fall. Eyewitness across the street didn't see, but said our car was angled towards her, which it was in preparation for the turn. Back then we had very little assets but even then it was very stressful. Eventually the other side agreed to a small settlement of a few thousand dollars on some minor claims. But until it was finalized, you know how lawyers talk: they only give opinions, and the opinions are never certain and reassuring. Because the last thing you want to do is tell your client something and the result end up being something very different. You always tell your clients what may happen, which always cover a range, from best case to worst case. We all fear for the worst case.