How old does a child have to be to wait for a school bus alone?

[Anonymous]

PP here. If your kid can do all these things and show you without help after being taught then I have no issue with that. Not every kid can. It's not the simple task (walking to stop) that is the issue for me. It's all of the other variables that come into play if something alters the equation.

My kid cries hysterically if dinner is not what she had hoped. I ignore her but I know my little drama queen could not handle this scenario. I'm not a helicopter and my kid is not a special snowflake. She's super smart but very immature. I know every kid is different. It's important to think about how your child typically handles unexpected changes. Mine cannot deal yet and my ass would surely be hauled into CPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. If your kid can do all these things and show you without help after being taught then I have no issue with that. Not every kid can. It's not the simple task (walking to stop) that is the issue for me. It's all of the other variables that come into play if something alters the equation.

My kid cries hysterically if dinner is not what she had hoped. I ignore her but I know my little drama queen could not handle this scenario. I'm not a helicopter and my kid is not a special snowflake. She's super smart but very immature. I know every kid is different. It's important to think about how your child typically handles unexpected changes. Mine cannot deal yet and my ass would surely be hauled into CPS.

And this is my point. Each kid is different, and parents should be allowed to make the best choices for their kid without facing the wrath of other parents or (God forbid) CPS. If a parent thinks their kid isn't ready, they should be able to drive to school without being accused of being a helicopter parent. If a kid is ready, let them walk and feel empowered. But none of this screaming "it's so dangerous! You never know what could happen! I'd call the cops!" That's just fear-mongering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me the issue isn't walking safely. It's what happens if the child misses the bus. I'm not a helicopter parent. I know my kid can walk to a bus stop. I also know that my kid would not know how to handle missing the bus. She can't even turn the lever on the front door. How in the hell am I supposed to give her a key knowing full well that if she walked back home she couldn't open the door herself anyway. Can your six year old even tell time to know how long they've been waiting to determine that the bus is clearly not coming at a certain point? I'm all for independence but what is the plan if the child doesn't make the bus. This child is alone at the stop, correct?

Wait, the mom is at home with another kid, right? So special snowflake misses the bus? He walks the four houses back and mom's still there. Or did I miss something?

And really? Your kindergartner can't figure out what to do if they miss the bus? You can't role play that one out? My kindergartner can unlock my phone, download the latest LEGO ap, and facetime with her dad before I realize the phone is gone. (Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration) Don't tell me he can't turn around, figure out which house is his, and walk the exact same way back home.

The child will need a watch to determine what time to walk back him because he likely missed the bus. Does OP drive past the stop? If not the kid could still be waiting and walk home after she leaves? Can he use the key to get in? This isn't special snowflake territory it's common sense. If you want to teach independence you need to teach your kid the skills they need to carry it through.

Can the child tell time, use the key, get the door open, make a call to the parents? These are legitimate things your child should be able to do in this situation.

According to the OP, the bus comes at least 40 minutes before she needs to leave to drop her younger child off at preschool. So even if her DS misses the bus & waits at the stop for 15-20 minutes before realizing that the bus isn't coming, he'd still be able to walk the half a block home & be there well before the OP leaves. So all he'd need is a digital watch & instructions to come home if the bus doesn't arrive by, say, 8:15 & his mom will still be home to let him into the house & drive him to school. No key or phone call needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Um, no. It's a FACT that he is more likely to be hurt or killed being driven to school. It's a FACT that stranger abductions are so rare as to be statistically insignificant. It's a FACT that the vast majority of parents wouldn't have thought twice about allowing their child to walk half a block to the bus stop alone a generation ago. It's a FACT that crime is significantly lower than it was a generation ago. It's a FACT that children are not innately less capable than they were a generation ago.

People under the age of 40 often disbelieve this fact, and yet it's true. When I say, "When I was 6, I walked a mile to school and back by myself, and my mother was considered over-protective," it's as though I'm telling them something like, "When I was 6, Santa used to take me and the Easter Bunny to school on his sleigh."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People she doesn't feel like doing what she would need to do to accompany her kid to the bus stop!!! Why is that so hard to understand? It would disrupt her routine, which isn't worth it to her. Whatever. Fair enough.

OP here. Thank you. If my child's school start time changed or something else changed, I would change our routine. Our routine is fine the way it is. We live in a neighborhood with large yards and it would be a pain in the ass to walk past the 4 houses plus yards to get to the end of our cul de sac. The bus stop is just out of my vision from our window. I don't want to wake up my elementary school earlier just so he can hang out with his friends for 15 min on the bus ride to school.

And yet you think it is ok for your kindergartener to do this everyday by himself?

What the heck is Op even asking? If waking your 6 year old up early and seeing that he gets to his bus stop safely is a huge pain for you then just continue to drive him. Yeah, he wants to hang with his friends that's understandable. But you're the adult and his safety comes first. Drive him.

OP here. I asked because my kid wanted to ride the bus in the mornings. After posting this thread, I have realized it is too much trouble and won't be happening. I will continue dropping him off next year as well. If and only when he is old enough to walk on his own (2nd grade maybe) and motivated enough to get ready to go out on his own, he will be able to ride the bus alone.

[Anonymous]

I'm well above 40 and I'm all for giving kids some independence. But 6? That's still a little kid. Just because they *can* do something doesn't mean that they are *ready* to do something. If your kinder trips and skins his knee on the walk to the bus stop. if a strange dog scares him, if a big kid steals his lunch...his confidence in handling situations all by himself could be shaken forever. That may sound dramatic, but what seems like a minor thing to an adult can seem very scary to a 50 pound kid.

I've volunteered in kinder/first grade classes and I met a lot of super bright and funny little kids (my own kids were pretty capable at that age and they were tall/big for their age too), but none of them were ready to fend for themselves just yet. And I never met a parent who expected them to...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear GOD OP. Get up BEFORE your children and shower. That way you can walk you child to the bus stop. It's safer. Why the hell would you risk it. If you simply won't get up earlier, then just keep your routine as is. I honestly would report a family for letting a 6 year old go to the bus stop alone. So many things can happen.

Stunt your own kids by helipoctoring if you want but please the rest of us reasonable parents' kids alone.

I'm not a helicopter parent. I live 2 houses from the bus stop for my kid. I read the OP's post as a lazy parent. So I respnded to that. The rest of you do what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm well above 40 and I'm all for giving kids some independence. But 6? That's still a little kid. Just because they *can* do something doesn't mean that they are *ready* to do something. If your kinder trips and skins his knee on the walk to the bus stop. if a strange dog scares him, if a big kid steals his lunch...his confidence in handling situations all by himself could be shaken forever. That may sound dramatic, but what seems like a minor thing to an adult can seem very scary to a 50 pound kid.

I've volunteered in kinder/first grade classes and I met a lot of super bright and funny little kids (my own kids were pretty capable at that age and they were tall/big for their age too), but none of them were ready to fend for themselves just yet. And I never met a parent who expected them to...

If you're well above 40, then when you were six, almost all six-year-olds were ready to do it. What has changed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm well above 40 and I'm all for giving kids some independence. But 6? That's still a little kid. Just because they *can* do something doesn't mean that they are *ready* to do something. If your kinder trips and skins his knee on the walk to the bus stop. if a strange dog scares him, if a big kid steals his lunch...his confidence in handling situations all by himself could be shaken forever. That may sound dramatic, but what seems like a minor thing to an adult can seem very scary to a 50 pound kid.

I've volunteered in kinder/first grade classes and I met a lot of super bright and funny little kids (my own kids were pretty capable at that age and they were tall/big for their age too), but none of them were ready to fend for themselves just yet. And I never met a parent who expected them to...

If you're well above 40, then when you were six, almost all six-year-olds were ready to do it. What has changed?

I disagree that most kids were getting themselves off to school and carrying around house keys when they were in Kinder. It is possible that some of you are remembering walking to school or waiting at the bus stop with older siblings and/or friends. But even back in the day 6 year olds were generally not walking the neighborhood all by themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm well above 40 and I'm all for giving kids some independence. But 6? That's still a little kid. Just because they *can* do something doesn't mean that they are *ready* to do something. If your kinder trips and skins his knee on the walk to the bus stop. if a strange dog scares him, if a big kid steals his lunch...his confidence in handling situations all by himself could be shaken forever. That may sound dramatic, but what seems like a minor thing to an adult can seem very scary to a 50 pound kid.

I've volunteered in kinder/first grade classes and I met a lot of super bright and funny little kids (my own kids were pretty capable at that age and they were tall/big for their age too), but none of them were ready to fend for themselves just yet. And I never met a parent who expected them to...

If you're well above 40, then when you were six, almost all six-year-olds were ready to do it. What has changed?

I disagree that most kids were getting themselves off to school and carrying around house keys when they were in Kinder. It is possible that some of you are remembering walking to school or waiting at the bus stop with older siblings and/or friends. But even back in the day 6 year olds were generally not walking the neighborhood all by themselves.

Yes, they were walking by themselves. They really were. It's not Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. It really, actually did happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm well above 40 and I'm all for giving kids some independence. But 6? That's still a little kid. Just because they *can* do something doesn't mean that they are *ready* to do something. If your kinder trips and skins his knee on the walk to the bus stop. if a strange dog scares him, if a big kid steals his lunch...his confidence in handling situations all by himself could be shaken forever. That may sound dramatic, but what seems like a minor thing to an adult can seem very scary to a 50 pound kid.

I've volunteered in kinder/first grade classes and I met a lot of super bright and funny little kids (my own kids were pretty capable at that age and they were tall/big for their age too), but none of them were ready to fend for themselves just yet. And I never met a parent who expected them to...

If you're well above 40, then when you were six, almost all six-year-olds were ready to do it. What has changed?

I disagree that most kids were getting themselves off to school and carrying around house keys when they were in Kinder. It is possible that some of you are remembering walking to school or waiting at the bus stop with older siblings and/or friends. But even back in the day 6 year olds were generally not walking the neighborhood all by themselves.

Yes, they were walking by themselves. They really were. It's not Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. It really, actually did happen.

Well o.k. That doesn't mean that it was a smart idea. My own dad used to wheel a wagon around the neighborhood going door to door by himself collecting bottles/cans from strangers that he could turn in for change when he was 8 years old. My grandmother was a lovely person but would I allow my own kids to do that? No way. Not a good idea.

[Anonymous]

^I'll add that my dad did not allow any of his own kids to do anything like that either. That's telling...

[Anonymous]

The question is not whether or not it was a good idea, or whether or not you would allow your own children to do it. The question is, did this used to be a normal thing for children to do? Yes, it did. Children then were capable of doing it, and did do it. So how come they are not capable of doing it now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The question is not whether or not it was a good idea, or whether or not you would allow your own children to do it. The question is, did this used to be a normal thing for children to do? Yes, it did. Children then were capable of doing it, and did do it. So how come they are not capable of doing it now?

Because those kids grew up and opted not to put their own kids in similar situations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I drive my kid to school everyday. In those 40 min, I would be showering and getting myself and younger child ready for preschool. If my kid can't go to the bus stop alone, I am going to continue to drive him at 8:40.

OP, suppose you did the following:

1. Find out when the bus comes.
2. Figure out the timing. For example, if the bus comes at 8:00 am, what time would you have to leave the house to get to the bus stop, and what time would you get back? Also, if you didn't have to drive your older child to school, what time would you have to leave the house to get your younger child to preschool?
3. See if you can figure out a way to make that work.

OP here. I am fairly certain the bus comes between 8:00 and 8:10. We currently leave our house around 8:35 to get to school by 8:40. If I were to walk my son to the bus, we would need to walk out of the house around 8. I just don't think this is going to work. DS will just have to continue getting driven to school by me.

I am a pretty laid back mum, but I wouldn't add elements of rushing and stress to the morning, nor lose one minute of sleep, to give my child what he wants in this case. Rest and a slow start to the day crucial to me.

He's old enough to understand that a less rushed morning is good for him, too.

If he feels cheated out of something by not riding the bus, try and find ways to make the car ride special (e.g. an audiobook he only gets to listen in the car x days a week, stressing how nice it is to have time to talk to Mum, word games you play only in the car, a small treat you approve of, things along these lines).