Disappointed in Montgomery Family Court

[Anonymous]

Pp, you are a lunatic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was never found to be in violation of a court order. His attorney in 2006 recommended the garnishment in a settlement agreement. The garnishment goes directly to the ex. The original agreement said that support stopped at age 18. Subsequently, MD revised its law to be the later of 18 or graduation from high school. So we waited until the after graduation from high school of the older child to ask the ex to reduce. She ignored all requests, forced us to serve her and then brought a motion to increase child support. The judge dismissed her motion because the ex could not prove her income. We submitted her tax returns to the court. The judge verbally acknowledged that she the ex perjured herself on her financial statements, but still said since we could not prove what her income was (from ex's own business), we could not get the reduction we requested. My husband divorced in 2001. This is the 4th hearing on child support since. Every time proving his ex's income is impossible. Prior to me, my husband paid attorney's fees to reach a settlement agreement (imputing to his ex half of her real income) just to end the court proceeding and attorney's fees. My husband started with joint custody. When he remarried, his ex prohibited the kids from visiting us and then reopened the case for full custody and more support based on the fact that the kids did not visit us. My hysband settled that (after 6 months), while we were having our first child by giving up joint custody. He hoped the kids would reach out to him. They did not. We were back in court. The main purpose was to turn of the garnishment to the ex. She would not have agreed to stop taking the money without a court order. His employer needed an order to know it was okay to stop the garnishment. The ex told the judge that she provides her daughter a car (not reflected on her financial statement) as long as she does not drive into Virginia where her Dad lives. Enough said.

Hear hear
Imagine your father remarried and once he was having a new baby with his new wife, said he no longer wants joint custody of you. I would be hurt, angry and resentful. I would want nothing to do with him.

OP, your husband "abandoned" his kids for his new family (that is what a child would think). And you wonder why they don't come to visit? Plus you whining about paying child support doesn't help the situation.

I know plenty of children who were abandoned by their father when he gets a "new" woman and has a family with her. Any woman who would NOT encourage her husband to see his children is a loser. Any man who would go along with her and not see his own children and be responsible for the child(ren) he created is also a loser. Sounds like you two are a perfect match.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp, you are a lunatic

lol, I thought the same thing. That the PP presumably read at least part of the thread (I assume so because of the bolded part) and came to that conclusion is insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp, you are a lunatic

lol, I thought the same thing. That the PP presumably read at least part of the thread (I assume so because of the bolded part) and came to that conclusion is insane.

have
I totally disagree. Why would children be expected to "reach out" to their parents to establish a parenting routine? They are the children. Their father moved on from being their parent to being the parent of his new children, and expected them to "reach out" to him to request he be in their lives, after he voluntarily gave up his hafl of parenting? What an absurd expectation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp, you are a lunatic

lol, I thought the same thing. That the PP presumably read at least part of the thread (I assume so because of the bolded part) and came to that conclusion is insane.

have
I totally disagree. Why would children be expected to "reach out" to their parents to establish a parenting routine? They are the children. Their father moved on from being their parent to being the parent of his new children, and expected them to "reach out" to him to request he be in their lives, after he voluntarily gave up his hafl of parenting? What an absurd expectation.

Why is it always assumed the dad moved on and it is all his fault? Believe it or not, some mom's cheat and end the marriage. Some mom's refuse to allow the dad's to have contact no matter how much they try. Some mom's only want child support. Some mom's refuse to answer the phone when dad's call. Some refuse to be home or at the meeting point for their parenting time. Court rarely sanctions the mom or custodial parent. They only sanction the NCP for child support. If a NCP failed to pay child support, then there are all kinds of consequences... if a mom refuses visitation (or dad), they just tell the CP to do better and there are rarely any consequences. We have an office in every county to help with child support for free. There is no such free help for visitation. At some point after years of fighting and begging to see your kids, you have to move on for their sake. You don't want the kids put in the middle of mom being nasty to dad and taking it out on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp, you are a lunatic

lol, I thought the same thing. That the PP presumably read at least part of the thread (I assume so because of the bolded part) and came to that conclusion is insane.

have
I totally disagree. Why would children be expected to "reach out" to their parents to establish a parenting routine? They are the children. Their father moved on from being their parent to being the parent of his new children, and expected them to "reach out" to him to request he be in their lives, after he voluntarily gave up his hafl of parenting? What an absurd expectation.

Why is it always assumed the dad moved on and it is all his fault? Believe it or not, some mom's cheat and end the marriage. Some mom's refuse to allow the dad's to have contact no matter how much they try. Some mom's only want child support. Some mom's refuse to answer the phone when dad's call. Some refuse to be home or at the meeting point for their parenting time. Court rarely sanctions the mom or custodial parent. They only sanction the NCP for child support. If a NCP failed to pay child support, then there are all kinds of consequences... if a mom refuses visitation (or dad), they just tell the CP to do better and there are rarely any consequences. We have an office in every county to help with child support for free. There is no such free help for visitation. At some point after years of fighting and begging to see your kids, you have to move on for their sake. You don't want the kids put in the middle of mom being nasty to dad and taking it out on them.

We are talking about a particular situation here -- where the dad gave up joint custody when his new wife became pregnant with their first child together, then expected his children to "reach out" to HIM. He already HAD joint custody. He gave it up. He moved on. We're not talking about ending the marriage, we're talking about a parenting deciding to let go of his half of parenting, and how that looks to his children.

[Anonymous]

Give it up, stop fighting. You all sound like bitter ex-wives

Things are never black and white

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp, you are a lunatic

lol, I thought the same thing. That the PP presumably read at least part of the thread (I assume so because of the bolded part) and came to that conclusion is insane.

have
I totally disagree. Why would children be expected to "reach out" to their parents to establish a parenting routine? They are the children. Their father moved on from being their parent to being the parent of his new children, and expected them to "reach out" to him to request he be in their lives, after he voluntarily gave up his hafl of parenting? What an absurd expectation.

Why is it always assumed the dad moved on and it is all his fault? Believe it or not, some mom's cheat and end the marriage. Some mom's refuse to allow the dad's to have contact no matter how much they try. Some mom's only want child support. Some mom's refuse to answer the phone when dad's call. Some refuse to be home or at the meeting point for their parenting time. Court rarely sanctions the mom or custodial parent. They only sanction the NCP for child support. If a NCP failed to pay child support, then there are all kinds of consequences... if a mom refuses visitation (or dad), they just tell the CP to do better and there are rarely any consequences. We have an office in every county to help with child support for free. There is no such free help for visitation. At some point after years of fighting and begging to see your kids, you have to move on for their sake. You don't want the kids put in the middle of mom being nasty to dad and taking it out on them.

We are talking about a particular situation here -- where the dad gave up joint custody when his new wife became pregnant with their first child together, then expected his children to "reach out" to HIM. He already HAD joint custody. He gave it up. He moved on. We're not talking about ending the marriage, we're talking about a parenting deciding to let go of his half of parenting, and how that looks to his children.

He gave it up to reach a compromise. Mom got mad dad is having another child. Honestly, we expect my husband's kids to reach out to us if they want a relationship. We have for years and finally gave up. How much do you reach out and get a brick wall before giving up. We know they will eventually text as they want money or stuff... never to visit, never a happy birthday, never a happy fathers day...

[Anonymous]

OP,

I don't understand. What was the compromise? How far apart do you and the boys live? I'm the single mother of a teen whose dad has remarried and started a new family and there is no way in hell I could alienate my son from his father and he knows I'm not happy with a number of elements in our co-parenting arrangement. Every situation is different. We don't really have details. Maybe you guys live too far away. Maybe the sons are pissed about things about which you don't know.

How long will he pay child support? 21 or 18?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

He gave it up to reach a compromise. Mom got mad dad is having another child. Honestly, we expect my husband's kids to reach out to us if they want a relationship. We have for years and finally gave up. How much do you reach out and get a brick wall before giving up. We know they will eventually text as they want money or stuff... never to visit, never a happy birthday, never a happy fathers day...

How much? Forever. If you are a parent you reach out forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

He gave it up to reach a compromise. Mom got mad dad is having another child. Honestly, we expect my husband's kids to reach out to us if they want a relationship. We have for years and finally gave up. How much do you reach out and get a brick wall before giving up. We know they will eventually text as they want money or stuff... never to visit, never a happy birthday, never a happy fathers day...

How much? Forever. If you are a parent you reach out forever.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

He gave it up to reach a compromise. Mom got mad dad is having another child. Honestly, we expect my husband's kids to reach out to us if they want a relationship. We have for years and finally gave up. How much do you reach out and get a brick wall before giving up. We know they will eventually text as they want money or stuff... never to visit, never a happy birthday, never a happy fathers day...

How much? Forever. If you are a parent you reach out forever.

Obviously you have never been there or done that. Easier said than done. Till you walk in someone else's shoes, its easy to judge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

He gave it up to reach a compromise. Mom got mad dad is having another child. Honestly, we expect my husband's kids to reach out to us if they want a relationship. We have for years and finally gave up. How much do you reach out and get a brick wall before giving up. We know they will eventually text as they want money or stuff... never to visit, never a happy birthday, never a happy fathers day...

How much? Forever. If you are a parent you reach out forever.

Obviously you have never been there or done that. Easier said than done. Till you walk in someone else's shoes, its easy to judge.

Well, OP is not the parent, she is the "step parent" (not even, apparently) so sure it is easy for her to give up.

[Anonymous]

Don't hold the "no happy birthday, no happy Father's Day" against them. Nobody has taught them to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

He gave it up to reach a compromise. Mom got mad dad is having another child. Honestly, we expect my husband's kids to reach out to us if they want a relationship. We have for years and finally gave up. How much do you reach out and get a brick wall before giving up. We know they will eventually text as they want money or stuff... never to visit, never a happy birthday, never a happy fathers day...

How much? Forever. If you are a parent you reach out forever.

Obviously you have never been there or done that. Easier said than done. Till you walk in someone else's shoes, its easy to judge.

Ten years from now, when OPs kids have been abandoned, she will think back to this time.