Honestly the complete disregard for GenX financial strain is getting old

[Anonymous]

I live in a highly desirable suburb with top schools, and half my street of large homes with property is occupied by Boomers or older Gen X with grown and flown kids.

My theory? We are just stuck. Many people in their late 60s and early 70s are still caring for elderly parents who had them so darn young. Coming up behind these Boomers are Gen X and Millennials who aren't having kids, or having them late. So there's no incentive to move to be nearer to grandchildren because they don't exist. Instead, everyone's visiting the nursing home.

It's depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers have very good social security benefits with no means testing. They do not NEED to keep working and delaying retirement. They also won’t give up their family sized homes that younger people need to start families.

Meanwhile they complain that they don’t have many grandchildren. And that it’s expensive to hire people to cut their grass, repair their spare 2 bathrooms, snowblower their long driveways. It’s ridiculous. Poor them.

They just care A LOT about their peers’ opinions.
My parents had an enormous house on 2 acres of land. I convinced them to downsize and when they saw houses that would be an appropriate size (no stairs, 2 bedrooms) they were appalled. My mom said “I need to be PROUD of my home! My friends wouldn’t be impressed by this.” They ended up in a huge “luxury” townhouse with two flights of stairs. But at least they got rid of the yardwork problem.

Your mom is right. Those tiny 2br "retirement" homes are depressing. Most of them don't even have enough space for a proper dining table that would seat 8-10 people. Tiny closets, no storage. We are not ready to downsize yet (youngest still at home) but what I have seen is not very encouraging. We will likely either stay put and remodel or do a partial downsize to something like a large townhome for 10 or so years before downsizing again.

Why bother seating 8 to 10 people? Let the younger generation do the hosting.
The reason it is weird is because my parents OWN parents, once they were empty nesters, moved into a mobile home at their kids urging, and they were healthy and active! Yet my parents, in their 70s and one of whom is seriously ill and barely mobile, insist on a big townhouse with two flights of stairs because they need to feel “proud” of their home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers have very good social security benefits with no means testing. They do not NEED to keep working and delaying retirement. They also won’t give up their family sized homes that younger people need to start families.

Meanwhile they complain that they don’t have many grandchildren. And that it’s expensive to hire people to cut their grass, repair their spare 2 bathrooms, snowblower their long driveways. It’s ridiculous. Poor them.

They just care A LOT about their peers’ opinions.
My parents had an enormous house on 2 acres of land. I convinced them to downsize and when they saw houses that would be an appropriate size (no stairs, 2 bedrooms) they were appalled. My mom said “I need to be PROUD of my home! My friends wouldn’t be impressed by this.” They ended up in a huge “luxury” townhouse with two flights of stairs. But at least they got rid of the yardwork problem.

Your mom is right. Those tiny 2br "retirement" homes are depressing. Most of them don't even have enough space for a proper dining table that would seat 8-10 people. Tiny closets, no storage. We are not ready to downsize yet (youngest still at home) but what I have seen is not very encouraging. We will likely either stay put and remodel or do a partial downsize to something like a large townhome for 10 or so years before downsizing again.

Agreed. Retirement homes are just not nice. My parents were looking for something like their current 6 bedroom home with a large master, large kitchen. But they wanted to nix 4 of those bedrooms, didn't want the formal living room, only needed one dining area, only wanted 2.5 bathrooms (or 2 maybe). Instead the houses had tiny kitchens, tiny bathrooms, and everything was very basic. Where I'm from in south florida there are very fancy retirement communities, but those just don't exist around here.

My parents instead just bought a normal colonial and will get a stair lift when they need it. They love having guests and hosting dinner parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the Boomers are so wealthy, won't Gen X inherit their massive wealth? And ditto for Gen Z.

Being poor is really normal when you're just starting your career and I think it's normal to be envious. I remember wondering how so many adults from my parents generation could have money, yet most were extremely unimpressive. I think most made their money by simply investing in their 401k. Compounding returns is an amazing thing!

Nah. Boomers aren't leaving anything behind. I love my parents and don't want their money, but they constantly tell us they're spending it all before they go. My parents get a new 75-90k SUV every other year. I'm glad they're enjoying it, but I'm sick of hearing about it.

Contrast that to my grandparents and great grandparents who saved every penny and made sure to leave money to their kids.

Inheritance has been a bit broken for a few generations once men stopped dying at 55. Dad used to die and leave the farm to their oldest son whose family would take care of the mom. Now days, people inherit when they're 70 like my parents and my inlaws did. What 70 year old needs an inheritance??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers have very good social security benefits with no means testing. They do not NEED to keep working and delaying retirement. They also won’t give up their family sized homes that younger people need to start families.

Meanwhile they complain that they don’t have many grandchildren. And that it’s expensive to hire people to cut their grass, repair their spare 2 bathrooms, snowblower their long driveways. It’s ridiculous. Poor them.

They just care A LOT about their peers’ opinions.
My parents had an enormous house on 2 acres of land. I convinced them to downsize and when they saw houses that would be an appropriate size (no stairs, 2 bedrooms) they were appalled. My mom said “I need to be PROUD of my home! My friends wouldn’t be impressed by this.” They ended up in a huge “luxury” townhouse with two flights of stairs. But at least they got rid of the yardwork problem.

Your mom is right. Those tiny 2br "retirement" homes are depressing. Most of them don't even have enough space for a proper dining table that would seat 8-10 people. Tiny closets, no storage. We are not ready to downsize yet (youngest still at home) but what I have seen is not very encouraging. We will likely either stay put and remodel or do a partial downsize to something like a large townhome for 10 or so years before downsizing again.

Agreed. Retirement homes are just not nice. My parents were looking for something like their current 6 bedroom home with a large master, large kitchen. But they wanted to nix 4 of those bedrooms, didn't want the formal living room, only needed one dining area, only wanted 2.5 bathrooms (or 2 maybe). Instead the houses had tiny kitchens, tiny bathrooms, and everything was very basic. Where I'm from in south florida there are very fancy retirement communities, but those just don't exist around here.

My parents instead just bought a normal colonial and will get a stair lift when they need it. They love having guests and hosting dinner parties.

I’ve seen some really nice 2 bedroom homes I’d be happy to live in. My in-laws are at a continuing care facility and combined 2 units into one 1800 sq ft place. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, big kitchen and a combined living and dining room with a table that seats 10. It’s attractive and a perfect space for people with mobility issues. They are doing much better and having more fun than they were in their big home in the suburbs.

[Anonymous]

DH & I are empty nesters in a DMV suburban home. Nothing too big and one level living is possible. A couple of thoughts we have though I don't hear this from our same age friends: Moving to where one child is feels like choosing between them. I'm sure a medical change would supersede this discomfort but for now we're strong and healthy. We could move to a neutral location but a bad decision feels very financially risky. When we do sell we plan to use the proceeds to help the kids with their home purchase. I would like them to be the ones to own: the bigger house, with the better commute, in the better school district -- things we do not need.

Offering what's on our minds, not that it's common or should be on others' minds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:GenX is sitting here waiting to see how we’ll get screwed next. The boomers have absolutely pulled the ladder up behind them. We haven’t really started to retire yet - pensions are miniscule or completely gone, keep raising the age for social security, people keep eying increasing the taxes, raising means testing, or phasing out benefits for people who have managed to pull together some retirement wealth — all that is going to hit GenX.

GenX has screwed themselves for overwhelming backing Trumpy billionaires.

--GenX who has lost all affinity for my so-called friends

I'm a younger GenX and know very few Trump supporters. I actually know more millennial Trump supporters.

Your anecdotes < data

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH & I are empty nesters in a DMV suburban home. Nothing too big and one level living is possible. A couple of thoughts we have though I don't hear this from our same age friends: Moving to where one child is feels like choosing between them. I'm sure a medical change would supersede this discomfort but for now we're strong and healthy. We could move to a neutral location but a bad decision feels very financially risky. When we do sell we plan to use the proceeds to help the kids with their home purchase. I would like them to be the ones to own: the bigger house, with the better commute, in the better school district -- things we do not need.

Offering what's on our minds, not that it's common or should be on others' minds.

My parents bought a home near my sister and a home near me. Both houses were smaller than the one I grew up in. They rotate locations about every 3 months. They love being in DC in the summer because they think it saves them a lot on cooling costs (I get that people think DC is hot, but it's not compared to down south).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:GenX is sitting here waiting to see how we’ll get screwed next. The boomers have absolutely pulled the ladder up behind them. We haven’t really started to retire yet - pensions are miniscule or completely gone, keep raising the age for social security, people keep eying increasing the taxes, raising means testing, or phasing out benefits for people who have managed to pull together some retirement wealth — all that is going to hit GenX.

GenX has screwed themselves for overwhelming backing Trumpy billionaires.

--GenX who has lost all affinity for my so-called friends

The largest cohort or younger Trump voters were the manosphere Millennials and GenZ

Please stop spewing misinformation. The data shows that GenX vote in Trump at greater levels than Boomers or other generations.

[Anonymous]

My parents bought a home near my sister and a home near me.

I like this idea though we might not feel rooted in either. A concern we'd be too dependent on our kids, socially, more than they'd like. IDK, might work. I have my own bad memories of "someone needs to drive Dad (cross country). Who's doing it this year?" when parent & car needs to get from one location from another. Not a problem when they no longer drive but then that's when a staying-put location is needed

[Anonymous]

I'm 58, so older Gen X. While I think our generation is awesome, we do have our pros and cons. One of our biggest cons is our inability to hold on to relationships. Many in our age group can start relationships, but cannot sustain them long term. "Gray divorce" is at all-time record levels. Gen X has the highest rate of marital dissatisfaction of any generation: 47% of Gen Xers say they are not happily married. So nearly half of Gen Xers divorce, are divorced. After hiring expensive divorce lawyers, they can struggle financially alone. It's better to save as a couple than to save solo and be left whipping in the wind and exposed alone to the elements. That's finance 101. I firmly believe some of our financial problems are self inflicted and not inflicted by the economy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH & I are empty nesters in a DMV suburban home. Nothing too big and one level living is possible. A couple of thoughts we have though I don't hear this from our same age friends: Moving to where one child is feels like choosing between them. I'm sure a medical change would supersede this discomfort but for now we're strong and healthy. We could move to a neutral location but a bad decision feels very financially risky. When we do sell we plan to use the proceeds to help the kids with their home purchase. I would like them to be the ones to own: the bigger house, with the better commute, in the better school district -- things we do not need.

Offering what's on our minds, not that it's common or should be on others' minds.

My parents bought a home near my sister and a home near me. Both houses were smaller than the one I grew up in. They rotate locations about every 3 months. They love being in DC in the summer because they think it saves them a lot on cooling costs (I get that people think DC is hot, but it's not compared to down south).

My parents also split time between my sister and I until my dad ended up on (totally preventable) dialysis. The best thing you can do for your kids is preserve your health! It’s more important than money. I know people get cancer etc through no fault of their own but this wasn’t that situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers have very good social security benefits with no means testing. They do not NEED to keep working and delaying retirement. They also won’t give up their family sized homes that younger people need to start families.

Meanwhile they complain that they don’t have many grandchildren. And that it’s expensive to hire people to cut their grass, repair their spare 2 bathrooms, snowblower their long driveways. It’s ridiculous. Poor them.

They just care A LOT about their peers’ opinions.
My parents had an enormous house on 2 acres of land. I convinced them to downsize and when they saw houses that would be an appropriate size (no stairs, 2 bedrooms) they were appalled. My mom said “I need to be PROUD of my home! My friends wouldn’t be impressed by this.” They ended up in a huge “luxury” townhouse with two flights of stairs. But at least they got rid of the yardwork problem.

Your mom is right. Those tiny 2br "retirement" homes are depressing. Most of them don't even have enough space for a proper dining table that would seat 8-10 people. Tiny closets, no storage. We are not ready to downsize yet (youngest still at home) but what I have seen is not very encouraging. We will likely either stay put and remodel or do a partial downsize to something like a large townhome for 10 or so years before downsizing again.

Why bother seating 8 to 10 people? Let the younger generation do the hosting.
The reason it is weird is because my parents OWN parents, once they were empty nesters, moved into a mobile home at their kids urging, and they were healthy and active! Yet my parents, in their 70s and one of whom is seriously ill and barely mobile, insist on a big townhouse with two flights of stairs because they need to feel “proud” of their home.

Uh, we want to host our friends? We still have our own friends and our own social lives. Not everything is about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the Boomers are so wealthy, won't Gen X inherit their massive wealth? And ditto for Gen Z.

Being poor is really normal when you're just starting your career and I think it's normal to be envious. I remember wondering how so many adults from my parents generation could have money, yet most were extremely unimpressive. I think most made their money by simply investing in their 401k. Compounding returns is an amazing thing!

Nah. Boomers aren't leaving anything behind. I love my parents and don't want their money, but they constantly tell us they're spending it all before they go. My parents get a new 75-90k SUV every other year. I'm glad they're enjoying it, but I'm sick of hearing about it.

Contrast that to my grandparents and great grandparents who saved every penny and made sure to leave money to their kids.

Inheritance has been a bit broken for a few generations once men stopped dying at 55. Dad used to die and leave the farm to their oldest son whose family would take care of the mom. Now days, people inherit when they're 70 like my parents and my inlaws did. What 70 year old needs an inheritance??

Your parents have an itch they need to scratch. Their money allows them a new SUV. If they didn't have money, they'd buys some cheap crap, but still buy something. The fact that they have a need to tell you, is also about the itch.
My experience is that the older and riches one gets, the less they spend. The excitement just isn't there. Your parent still get excited over a car; very cute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in a highly desirable suburb with top schools, and half my street of large homes with property is occupied by Boomers or older Gen X with grown and flown kids.

My theory? We are just stuck. Many people in their late 60s and early 70s are still caring for elderly parents who had them so darn young. Coming up behind these Boomers are Gen X and Millennials who aren't having kids, or having them late. So there's no incentive to move to be nearer to grandchildren because they don't exist. Instead, everyone's visiting the nursing home.

It's depressing.

That's not exactly why. As older GenX I want to downsize, but all the "downsize" houses are more expensive than my current "large" house we purchased at a lower interest rate and are still payoff the mortgage.

A lot of older boomers have paid off mortgage. Most of us who are younger than that have had to move multiple times for job hunting. As an older gen xer, each time I moved, the next house cost double my previous house. I would love to move once we can afford to retire at age 70, but we will have to see if it's affordable for us

I also live on a street filled with older boomers, and know they are staying put because their current house is the most affordable option for them, not because they necessarily want to continue to live there.