Can a lawyer help me reduce my child support obligation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can a lawyer help me reduce my child support obligation?

First I am in NY not DC. To keep it short, I need to pay $1700/month for 2 kids on a 108k salary. NY uses a calculator .The problem is that this calculator does not take into account your expenses.

So, I am now short $700 every month. It's crazy that the amount is taken on a net basis.

I'm looking for another job, but it's tough with this economy.

What's even crazier my ex earns more than me, but she has primary physical custody because due to my work hours it's impossible for me to have them more than 3 days a week. So I have them 3 days a week.

I am willing to go into further debt if a lawyer can help me lower my obligations? For example if I show my expenses to the judge will they agree to lower the amount so I don't a shortage every month?

Sorry for asking on a DC forum, but reddit isn't that helpful because a lot of dads in my situation end up venting about their own cases instead of offering solutions.

My ex pays 4k a month for 2 kids in NY. No NY judge will reduce child support bc of your expenses. They will reduce if your income went down

Yes, the only way a judge will change it is if you can prove "changed circumstances".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the wife is the primary custodial parent she might be in charge of paying for ALL of the kids stuff - school bills, Dr bills, sports, camps, daycare, etc. so even if they had 50/50 custody it would make sense to split these cost items down the middle.
We don’t have enough info from OP bc we don’t know what him vs his ex pay for

+1 OP has not come back to answer this question. My ex has partial custody, but doesn't actually buy or pay for anything. I pay health/dental/vision insurance, camp fees, lessons, tutoring, copays for medical and dental care, etc. So he pays for food while the kids are with him, and that's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My suggestion is to be nice to your ex and don't show that you are struggling. Now quietly get a better job where you make more money and don't tell her about it. The extra money you will be making save it.

I believe this is called fraud, and it hurts his child. Not like you seem to care that child support is to, y'know, support your child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met my DH while his divorce was being finalized. 2 kids. The court order was for 2/3 of his pay. It was devastating for him. She got the house which he had to keep paying the mortgage on, and all he could afford was a one bedroom crap apartment, which his kids hated to visit him at.
He tried having it reduced when the oldest turned 18. It only lowered it by about $100, which didn’t offset the cost of going back to court.

He either lied to you or there’s WAY more to this story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the wife is the primary custodial parent she might be in charge of paying for ALL of the kids stuff - school bills, Dr bills, sports, camps, daycare, etc. so even if they had 50/50 custody it would make sense to split these cost items down the middle.
We don’t have enough info from OP bc we don’t know what him vs his ex pay for

+1 OP has not come back to answer this question. My ex has partial custody, but doesn't actually buy or pay for anything. I pay health/dental/vision insurance, camp fees, lessons, tutoring, copays for medical and dental care, etc. So he pays for food while the kids are with him, and that's all.

Agreed. It’s very telling OP won’t answer these Qs.

[Anonymous]

NY child support payments are known for being very high. And enforcement in NY is excellent. You cannot escape. And further they can care less if you are in debt. Whatever the number they ask you to pay you must pay.

Divorce is not always a bad financial decision for the person who will be receiving payment. My brother pays child support in NY. His ex makes more than him. He has his kids 49% and her 51%. The judge awarded his ex primary physical custody because my brother couldn't afford a nanny some days due to his work hours. He was ordered to pay $2800 for 2 kids and his ex wife $3000. Because she has primary physical custody he the one with the lower salary was ordered to pay her. So essentially he increased her net pay while reducing his. And when he has his kids 49% of the time he is expected to cover that himself. And he must pay until the kids are 21. They are now 9 and 10. And she actually cheated on him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have extraordinary expenses? What are they?

Rent, car payment, credit card payment, food, gas, etc. they add up when $1700 is taken out before you even pay your own bills.

Wouldn't you paying more expenses for the kids if they lived with you? What would you do then? Reduce your own expenses...

Men like to have ‘50 % custody’ for child support but then still have the ex take care of everything for the kids

Hilarious video about a guy who sued for full custody and got - then has the nerve to call ex (who lives a state away) to come watch the kids while he goes to work!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VbhxgJgLqlc

The audacity!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can a lawyer help me reduce my child support obligation?

First I am in NY not DC. To keep it short, I need to pay $1700/month for 2 kids on a 108k salary. NY uses a calculator .The problem is that this calculator does not take into account your expenses.

So, I am now short $700 every month. It's crazy that the amount is taken on a net basis.

I'm looking for another job, but it's tough with this economy.

What's even crazier my ex earns more than me, but she has primary physical custody because due to my work hours it's impossible for me to have them more than 3 days a week. So I have them 3 days a week.

I am willing to go into further debt if a lawyer can help me lower my obligations? For example if I show my expenses to the judge will they agree to lower the amount so I don't a shortage every month?

Sorry for asking on a DC forum, but reddit isn't that helpful because a lot of dads in my situation end up venting about their own cases instead of offering solutions.

You'll get better responses at https://www.reddit.com/r/DivorcedDads/ than here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NY child support payments are known for being very high. And enforcement in NY is excellent. You cannot escape. And further they can care less if you are in debt. Whatever the number they ask you to pay you must pay.

Divorce is not always a bad financial decision for the person who will be receiving payment. My brother pays child support in NY. His ex makes more than him. He has his kids 49% and her 51%. The judge awarded his ex primary physical custody because my brother couldn't afford a nanny some days due to his work hours. He was ordered to pay $2800 for 2 kids and his ex wife $3000. Because she has primary physical custody he the one with the lower salary was ordered to pay her. So essentially he increased her net pay while reducing his. And when he has his kids 49% of the time he is expected to cover that himself. And he must pay until the kids are 21. They are now 9 and 10. And she actually cheated on him.

Marriage sounds awesome. Where does a guy sign up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can a lawyer help me reduce my child support obligation?

First I am in NY not DC. To keep it short, I need to pay $1700/month for 2 kids on a 108k salary. NY uses a calculator .The problem is that this calculator does not take into account your expenses.

So, I am now short $700 every month. It's crazy that the amount is taken on a net basis.

I'm looking for another job, but it's tough with this economy.

What's even crazier my ex earns more than me, but she has primary physical custody because due to my work hours it's impossible for me to have them more than 3 days a week. So I have them 3 days a week.

I am willing to go into further debt if a lawyer can help me lower my obligations? For example if I show my expenses to the judge will they agree to lower the amount so I don't a shortage every month?

Sorry for asking on a DC forum, but reddit isn't that helpful because a lot of dads in my situation end up venting about their own cases instead of offering solutions.

A judge will tell you to reduce your expenses.

You could try the scumbag technique. My XH was successful with reductions up to a point because he purposefully underemployed himself and got money secretly from his family to sustain his lifestyle. A friend’s ex worked under the table for 17 years to avoid CS and put cars and other assets in his GF’s name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met my DH while his divorce was being finalized. 2 kids. The court order was for 2/3 of his pay. It was devastating for him. She got the house which he had to keep paying the mortgage on, and all he could afford was a one bedroom crap apartment, which his kids hated to visit him at.
He tried having it reduced when the oldest turned 18. It only lowered it by about $100, which didn’t offset the cost of going back to court.

He either lied to you or there’s WAY more to this story.

I agree.

Even the low reduction suggests that CS hadn’t been calculated in a while and when it was redone it took into account an increase in his income. This happens all the time. Dad files, figuring he can lower his CS by 25% because 1 out of 4 kids is now 18, but he forgets that his income went up by 20% since the last time the calculate was run.

[Anonymous]

I am sure more and more women are paying child support these days since women are doing as well if not better than some men financially.

Do these complain and go back to court if they feel burden by the payments? Or are men the only complaining?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sure more and more women are paying child support these days since women are doing as well if not better than some men financially.

Do these complain and go back to court if they feel burden by the payments? Or are men the only complaining?

I know a woman who pays child support from her alimony and complains nonstop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My suggestion is to be nice to your ex and don't show that you are struggling. Now quietly get a better job where you make more money and don't tell her about it. The extra money you will be making save it.

I believe this is called fraud, and it hurts his child. Not like you seem to care that child support is to, y'know, support your child

Not necessary. Some CS orders fix child support so even if income goes up, it remains the same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure more and more women are paying child support these days since women are doing as well if not better than some men financially.

Do these complain and go back to court if they feel burden by the payments? Or are men the only complaining?

I know a woman who pays child support from her alimony and complains nonstop.

Huh? That makes no sense. First thing it’s not called alimony. It’s maintenance and if she’s getting maintenance for herself, why would she be paying child support?