And if you choose the 3-4, then you need to scale back your lifestyle or get a better paying jobs. You chose to bring those kids into the world, so it really is your job as parents to provide the basics, and that IMO includes access to 4 year college without major debt and scaling back your home and vacations to do so. Because yes, if you have 4 kids, they likely are not all getting a car to drive when they turn 16, where someone with only 1-2 kids, might be able to do that---we provided that, the kid at driving age got one of our "older cars" and we as parents got a new car, then 4 years later the other parent got a new car and the younger kid got "their car to drive in HS/college". heck, we chose to have our kids at least 4 years apart. One of many reasons was so that we'd likely only have one in college at same time, making it easier to cash flow part of it if needed (but we saved enough before hand). I have 2 friends who have 3 kids in about 40-45 months (no multiples). And man is the thought of college and paying for it stressful. But that is the choice they made, you don't accidentally get pregnant, especially when you have a 4-5 month old, you can make easy choices to prevent that and space your kids out to 2-3 years if you want. |
So when you choose to have a kid, that should be a consideration you make. We didn't start until we were 30, we paid off our own loans, bought a home and had an emergency fund. We didn't really take vacations until we were 35+. Most vacations were drive somewhere for 4-5 days and stay in a cheap hotel/rental. We made it a priority to save for our future and for our kids college from the time they were born. When you start early, you don't need to save as much, as you have time for it to grow (tax free in a 529) So while we increased our income over time, we never increased our lifestyle, and we didn't have kids until we could afford them (save for our retirement and some for college). But you are complaining that you cannot afford the Top 25-30 schools that are priced at $90K and won't get any "financial aid". That is like me complaining nobody is giving me a $100K BMW at a discount. THat's not how life works. If I value cars and want to drive that, I act like an adult, save for the BMW and adjust my budget accordingly to meet the needs of "what I value most". Or if I'm like 99% of people, I realize it's a dream and that I can get everywhere I need to go safely in a $40K Honda/Toyota and save my $$. |
DP: because the PP is smart enough to realize how PRivleged they are, and they don't expect someone to just "give them money for college". You are literally arguing about 30 or so schools that cost that much that even given Financial aide up to the "determined level of need". Outside of those schools, most do NOT meet financial need. But many outside will give your top student a lot of merit making that school ranked 80th very affordable. Also, the odds of your kid getting admission to one of those T30 schools that "meet financial need" is extremely small. So your efforts would be better focused on schools where your kid can gain admission AND you can afford. Just like everything else in life. There are 2000+ schools where your kid can get a good college education, so don't focus on the Top 30 and complain you "make too much to get enough aid" when you make in the Top 5-7% in the country. It's a problem many people would love to have |
But it is a CHOICE they had and they made. Now you get to live with it. Many of us wouldn't have (didn't) make that choice and can now pay the $90K |
Nobody has ever subsidized me as a SAHP---please explain how that has happened? Nobody has ever subsidized us because we live in a HCOLA, we are just forced to budget better and make more choices than if we lived in Nebraska. And nope, we don't subsidize kids to go to college. Schools like Harvard get to decide who they admit and who they will give aid to. That is not subsidizing. |
it is up to each school how they want to subsidize an incoming student. Many smartly (and I agree) realize it is to ouradvantage as society to educate kids from poorer/rural areas and give them more opportunities. That greatly increases their chances of excelling in life. The fact that you making $200-250K begrudges it and are mad that someone with so little in life is getting some small assistance to totally change their lives is strange. Firstly, most poor/rural/inner city kids don't go to HYPSM, they go to CC or the local state U, or some local private that gave them merit. For them, just going anywhere to college is a really big deal. And most dont' even realize that a few (20 or so) tippy top schools might actually give them aid. |
1000% Sad part is, most could afford Private k-12 or Private HS and then 90K college, they just refuse to cut back elsewhere and save. I watch people like that waste $2K+/month on dining out and Starbucks for their families. And that's all I see without even trying. And they are often the people whose 8 yo was wearing Lulu and Uggs (real ones)---you know things the kids will grow out of in 3-6 months at that age. So many opportunities to save, and yes some are small, but it's a mindset and when you "must have the best of everything" despite not being able to afford it all, you end up not being able to afford something, and sometimes they realize that for the large items, like an extra $40K/year/kid for the elite colleges. |
Yes, it is fiscally responsible. They saw something they valued and want for their kids/family. They chose to make choices so they could save and afford it. Now is it for everyone---probably not, but it's not like their kids were forced to beg on the street corners so they could save. They simply lived in a smaller house that wasn't in the tippy top neighborhood. So they lived in a 2K sq ft 25 yo home with decent schools and take vacations of only $3-4K once per year, drove affordable cars for 10-12 year and replaced when necessary. While you chose to buy a $1.4M, 5K sq ft newer home in a top school district, drive a $75K car for both spouses that you replace very 4-5 years and get the kids a nice car at 16, and travel to Europe every summer and a Caribbean/hawaii beach vacation at least once per year. They chose to live a good lifestyle they can afford. You chose to blow thru your money for a luxury lifestyle and now are complaining you don't have enough for the colleges you want. |
Because smart parents know they want their kids to attend college and college is ever more expensive each year, so you have to save and the sooner you start the less you need to save |
I’m not complaining about anything. Just pointing out that the other PP’s math doesn’t math. No matter how many Motel 6s you stay at. It’s funny, all of these comments about lifestyle choices. It’s also a lifestyle choice to make better educational and professional decisions so you don’t have to live like a pauper to afford college. But some of you who are obsessed with lifestyle choices never seem to mention that one. |
And that is their choice. Recognizing that poor kids will benefit the most from getting some aid to attend college is NOT a bad thing. The bad thing is someone who is in the top 5-10% of the USA who is pissed at the poor kid who grew up with no privilege and in bad conditions compared to your kids thinking "this is SO UNFAIR" |
There are lots of reasons why people are SAHP's. No one is subsidizing them. And, full earning potential. Do you want teachers, babysitters, day care workers, social workers, police, and other helping professions to quit and earn more? Then who takes care of your kids? We need those in lower paying jobs and yes, they should get aid. As a SAHP, we have gotten zero help. I stayed home as I could not afford child care on my salary. I stayed home as my MIL became ill and she/we could not afford to pay for help. I stayed home later because of my serious health issues. We have never gotten anything from anyone. |
The kids deserving of that aid are the poor kids. And, not poor as in living in a million dollar house. |
it's a "morality statement" because most of you complaining are annoyed that someone making less than you is getting aid and you are not, from a very small, very elite group of schools. The person getting full aid or close to full aid is not "just making 175K", they are likely living with under $75-80K as a family. So you too could have chosen to manage with only $75-80K as your family income for 18 years and you too might just get a full FA package to Harvard. But I suspect you realize nobody wants to give up the privileges and perks in life from living with 200-250K has meant for the last 18 years for you and your kids. You are mad someone is "getting something" and you are not. Yet fail to recognize how much more challenging their lives have been |
We do splurge on eating out but we don't go expensive. I never go to Starbucks, I pack everyone's lunches and we aren't buying designer clothing. We haven't been on vacation since before covid. We also splurge on kids activities. |