Why have 3+ kids if you can’t afford a babysitter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been invited to 2 child free weddings. Guess what? We're not going. I'm not flying my kids someone to sit in a hotel room with a babysitter.

The. Bride and groom don't care.

So everyone wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Those may be your kids but others of us teach our kids to behave.

No, you don’t.

I haven’t met any big families where kids are well mannered. The parents don’t have time or energy for this. They can barely function. They can barely get out of the house after loading everyone into the car.

So when they arrive somewhere, with a relief they just drop the kids to free range and nobody cares how they behave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've been invited to 2 child free weddings. Guess what? We're not going. I'm not flying my kids someone to sit in a hotel room with a babysitter.

And that’s fine! I have kids but fully support child free weddings. Sometimes we go, sometimes we don’t, but I don’t find the notion of people not wanting be around kids rude or insulting.

[Anonymous]

I thought OP is going to write that they leave kids home alone and that's not safe.
Also, where do you live that you know so many families like that? I know zero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been invited to 2 child free weddings. Guess what? We're not going. I'm not flying my kids someone to sit in a hotel room with a babysitter.

The. Bride and groom don't care.

So everyone wins.

It seems kind of weird to go through the trouble of inviting somebody you don't actually want to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been invited to 2 child free weddings. Guess what? We're not going. I'm not flying my kids someone to sit in a hotel room with a babysitter.

The. Bride and groom don't care.

So everyone wins.

It seems kind of weird to go through the trouble of inviting somebody you don't actually want to attend.

I invited relatives I didn't really know so well at the request of my parents. I wouldn't have said I didn't want them to attend. It was nice for them to be there for my parents' sake. But it wouldn't have bothered me if they didn't. And it wasn't trouble inviting them. It was just adding them to the list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

They walk 5 abreast everywhere they go clogging aisles in grocery stores, Costco, sidewalks, etc. it would never occur to them to have one parent shop and the other stay home. It’s a big event.

You don't want them to bring the kids in public but you will also be the first to complain if they never learn how to behave in public.

Well you won’t teach them because you clog the aisles and are oblivious to everyone around you.

So do boomers. Maybe they should stay home with a babysitter too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is American culture so anti-children? It is so bizarre to me that people have issues with children being a part of life.

.

I don’t think it’s American culture. It’s economics. Families don’t think about consequences of having so many kids.

They don’t think “Oh, I’ll never be alone with my husband again or any other adult, I’ll not be able to attend weddings, concerts and other events. I won’t afford college. I won’t be able to afford vacations that involve flying.”

A French woman would never think of herself as a package with all her kids. I can’t imagine who in Europe would. It’s a psychological problem if one doesn’t see the boundaries between persons.

Parents have their own lives and children have their own lives. Parents don’t have to sit through children parties and children don’t need to attend adult events. In America you just can’t afford it.

I think it is American culture (mostly Western and anti children). Why is a wedding an adult only event? Traditionally, in eastern cultures, it’s a family affair and children are welcome. Framing it as a psychological problem is BS. The people with the psych problems are the ones with the deep seated resentment of children. Maybe they had a bad childhood and their trauma lead to self hatred and projection by getting annoyed seeing children anywhere.

It’s not anti children to have a culture that offers both kid welcome and adult only weddings.

OP is complaining about kids at music lessons, sporting events and the grocery store.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 19 and we don't use babysitters. The older kids take care of the younger ones.

Then you do use babysitting.

The important thing is that you havr never seem me with more than 5 kids at a time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

They walk 5 abreast everywhere they go clogging aisles in grocery stores, Costco, sidewalks, etc. it would never occur to them to have one parent shop and the other stay home. It’s a big event.

You don't want them to bring the kids in public but you will also be the first to complain if they never learn how to behave in public.

Well you won’t teach them because you clog the aisles and are oblivious to everyone around you.

So do boomers. Maybe they should stay home with a babysitter too.

Reported for ageism. What if the poster had substituted the word blacks? An ism is an ism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 19 and we don't use babysitters. The older kids take care of the younger ones.

Then you do use babysitting.

The important thing is that you havr never seem me with more than 5 kids at a time.

I'd be more impressed if you took care of all your kids instead of having your kids parent them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is American culture so anti-children? It is so bizarre to me that people have issues with children being a part of life.

.

I don’t think it’s American culture. It’s economics. Families don’t think about consequences of having so many kids.

They don’t think “Oh, I’ll never be alone with my husband again or any other adult, I’ll not be able to attend weddings, concerts and other events. I won’t afford college. I won’t be able to afford vacations that involve flying.”

A French woman would never think of herself as a package with all her kids. I can’t imagine who in Europe would. It’s a psychological problem if one doesn’t see the boundaries between persons.

Parents have their own lives and children have their own lives. Parents don’t have to sit through children parties and children don’t need to attend adult events. In America you just can’t afford it.

I think it is American culture (mostly Western and anti children). Why is a wedding an adult only event? Traditionally, in eastern cultures, it’s a family affair and children are welcome. Framing it as a psychological problem is BS. The people with the psych problems are the ones with the deep seated resentment of children. Maybe they had a bad childhood and their trauma lead to self hatred and projection by getting annoyed seeing children anywhere.

It’s not anti children to have a culture that offers both kid welcome and adult only weddings.

OP is complaining about kids at music lessons, sporting events and the grocery store.

And? I am responding to the person quoted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

They walk 5 abreast everywhere they go clogging aisles in grocery stores, Costco, sidewalks, etc. it would never occur to them to have one parent shop and the other stay home. It’s a big event.

You don't want them to bring the kids in public but you will also be the first to complain if they never learn how to behave in public.

Well you won’t teach them because you clog the aisles and are oblivious to everyone around you.

So do boomers. Maybe they should stay home with a babysitter too.

Reported for ageism. What if the poster had substituted the word blacks? An ism is an ism.

Great. Maybe you should report this whole thread for child-ism. It’s exactly the same thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

They walk 5 abreast everywhere they go clogging aisles in grocery stores, Costco, sidewalks, etc. it would never occur to them to have one parent shop and the other stay home. It’s a big event.

You don't want them to bring the kids in public but you will also be the first to complain if they never learn how to behave in public.

Well you won’t teach them because you clog the aisles and are oblivious to everyone around you.

So do boomers. Maybe they should stay home with a babysitter too.

Reported for ageism. What if the poster had substituted the word blacks? An ism is an ism.

Great. Maybe you should report this whole thread for child-ism. It’s exactly the same thing

+100. It is. Why is someone who doesn’t think it is appropriate for kids to be in grocery stores, sports practice, weddings, and music class posting this on a parenting forum? Children are not abhorrent. Your ideas about children are abhorrent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been invited to 2 child free weddings. Guess what? We're not going. I'm not flying my kids someone to sit in a hotel room with a babysitter.

I wish you could see how insane this is.

You either can’t afford a babysitter and so you are missing out on life events or you have a psychological problem and can’t separate yourself from your children.

Babysitters are a fortune. That money is better off in the college fund. Not missing out.

I’d rather have stuck to 2 rather than 3+ kids if it meant I couldn’t afford a babysitter to attend my friends’ and family weddings.

If your friend claimed she couldn’t come to your wedding because she couldn’t afford a babysitter, it’s probably because she would *actually* prefer to hang out with her kids and watch a movie or play a board game than go to your wedding. Sorry.

And this is why there are so many posts about having no friends. Do this too many times and people stop inviting you altogether. And then your kids leave you and you’re with your husband and nothing to talk about now that the kids are gone. The choices you make come back to you in time…