Why have 3+ kids if you can’t afford a babysitter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

We don't have a Nanny, obviously. I'm not hiring a stranger to watch my kids for multiple days straight and overnight. I don't think you get this isn't a money thing. This is a safety thing.

Wait, do you also home school? And do no activities? In the normal course, kids are left with strangers all the time. If you are protecting your kids from all of this, when do you shift and start preparing them for life in the real world?

[Anonymous]

The only people I know in this area with 6 kids are highly religious ones (Catholics). I assume they don’t believe in birth control

[Anonymous]

Kids used to know how to behave. Parents taught manners.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids and a big age gap so I no longer need to drag my older 2 kids.

People with kids bring their kids. They are a package.

At the same time, I loved my childless time. I would leave kids with Dh and hang out with other moms or my childless friends. There were some women who never seemed to want to go out without their kids or their husbands were unwilling to watch kids so mom can have a night out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids and a big age gap so I no longer need to drag my older 2 kids.

People with kids bring their kids. They are a package.

At the same time, I loved my childless time. I would leave kids with Dh and hang out with other moms or my childless friends. There were some women who never seemed to want to go out without their kids or their husbands were unwilling to watch kids so mom can have a night out.

This is a you thing, not an all people thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been invited to 2 child free weddings. Guess what? We're not going. I'm not flying my kids someone to sit in a hotel room with a babysitter.

I wish you could see how insane this is.

You either can’t afford a babysitter and so you are missing out on life events or you have a psychological problem and can’t separate yourself from your children.

Babysitters are a fortune. That money is better off in the college fund. Not missing out.

I’d rather have stuck to 2 rather than 3+ kids if it meant I couldn’t afford a babysitter to attend my friends’ and family weddings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids and a big age gap so I no longer need to drag my older 2 kids.

People with kids bring their kids. They are a package.

At the same time, I loved my childless time. I would leave kids with Dh and hang out with other moms or my childless friends. There were some women who never seemed to want to go out without their kids or their husbands were unwilling to watch kids so mom can have a night out.

Um no. I have three kids and they are most definitely not a package.

[Anonymous]

You need a new group of friends, OP. I have never ever had friends show up for a poker night with their kids! And we all have them.

[Anonymous]

Why is American culture so anti-children? It is so bizarre to me that people have issues with children being a part of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is American culture so anti-children? It is so bizarre to me that people have issues with children being a part of life.

Children don’t belong at a poker night. It’s not anti children to note that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is American culture so anti-children? It is so bizarre to me that people have issues with children being a part of life.

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I don’t think it’s American culture. It’s economics. Families don’t think about consequences of having so many kids.

They don’t think “Oh, I’ll never be alone with my husband again or any other adult, I’ll not be able to attend weddings, concerts and other events. I won’t afford college. I won’t be able to afford vacations that involve flying.”

A French woman would never think of herself as a package with all her kids. I can’t imagine who in Europe would. It’s a psychological problem if one doesn’t see the boundaries between persons.

Parents have their own lives and children have their own lives. Parents don’t have to sit through children parties and children don’t need to attend adult events. In America you just can’t afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is American culture so anti-children? It is so bizarre to me that people have issues with children being a part of life.

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I don’t think it’s American culture. It’s economics. Families don’t think about consequences of having so many kids.

They don’t think “Oh, I’ll never be alone with my husband again or any other adult, I’ll not be able to attend weddings, concerts and other events. I won’t afford college. I won’t be able to afford vacations that involve flying.”

A French woman would never think of herself as a package with all her kids. I can’t imagine who in Europe would. It’s a psychological problem if one doesn’t see the boundaries between persons.

Parents have their own lives and children have their own lives. Parents don’t have to sit through children parties and children don’t need to attend adult events. In America you just can’t afford it.

I think it is American culture (mostly Western and anti children). Why is a wedding an adult only event? Traditionally, in eastern cultures, it’s a family affair and children are welcome. Framing it as a psychological problem is BS. The people with the psych problems are the ones with the deep seated resentment of children. Maybe they had a bad childhood and their trauma lead to self hatred and projection by getting annoyed seeing children anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

We don't have a Nanny, obviously. I'm not hiring a stranger to watch my kids for multiple days straight and overnight. I don't think you get this isn't a money thing. This is a safety thing.

Wait, do you also home school? And do no activities? In the normal course, kids are left with strangers all the time. If you are protecting your kids from all of this, when do you shift and start preparing them for life in the real world?

I live in FCC where the mayor's husband molested 3 girls in his basement and no one in town believed them. Of course until years later his neice caught him on tape admitting to molesting her.

I use sound parenting techniques where children are not left alone with adults in a situation that could leave them vulnerable to sexual abuse. If you don't do that, up to you. My kids are in daycare, activities and public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s baffling to me why people choose to have three or more kids while they don’t have childcare options and can’t afford a babysitter in regular basis.

They end up tagging those 3-4 kids everywhere they go.

One kid has a music instrument class? All five of them go and then wait for that one.

Adult gathering for like a poker night or a sports event? Bring along the kids as inconvenient for everyone involved as it may be.

Wedding? RSVP for six of us. We can’t leave kids home alone.

It’s a hug inconvenience it just for them, but for others, as well.

What did you think it was going to be like?

You sound like you need therapy. Honestly, it’s weird to write paragraphs about all “these people” with 3+ kids who bring them everywhere because they can’t organize a babysitter when they drop their eldest off at piano (did I get that right? Are you a bitter piano teacher?). When was the last time something like this negatively impacted you and what is the frequency? Get a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been invited to 2 child free weddings. Guess what? We're not going. I'm not flying my kids someone to sit in a hotel room with a babysitter.

I wish you could see how insane this is.

You either can’t afford a babysitter and so you are missing out on life events or you have a psychological problem and can’t separate yourself from your children.

Babysitters are a fortune. That money is better off in the college fund. Not missing out.

I’d rather have stuck to 2 rather than 3+ kids if it meant I couldn’t afford a babysitter to attend my friends’ and family weddings.

If your friend claimed she couldn’t come to your wedding because she couldn’t afford a babysitter, it’s probably because she would *actually* prefer to hang out with her kids and watch a movie or play a board game than go to your wedding. Sorry.