When did this become the norm?

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04/10/2024 09:33

Subject: When did this become the norm?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We travel a lot because we enjoy it so much and don't spend much in other matters. I don't have social media and I enjoy having something on the horizon to look forward to.

I am a bit put off at the thought of op pricing out someone else's vacation. People who count other people's money need to obsess over something more constructive. You are doing something revolting and still choose to judge a friend whose mistake was in sharing information with you. Why does everything need to become a source or jealousy or showing off. Maybe people like specific things and like to post pics of what they like and do things they enjoy and it's not directed at you or meant to be tallied up by their nosy friends.

This a bizarre overreaction. I think it's natural to wonder how much certain vacations cost when someone shares certain details with you. It's not "revolting." I had a friend who did a trip to Greece last summer and told me about staying in a villa where they had a private chef for a couple days. It sounded amazing and I was very happy for her, but also have to admit that my first thought was to wonder how much it cost. Partly because we've done trips where I looked at similar accommodations and the price for something like that was always really high even in otherwise very affordable travel destinations. So I was curious. I don't think it's crazy or horrible to privately think "oh wow that must have been pricy" when someone tells you about something that, let's get real, was probably pricy. It's a normal response. If you worry about people responding to you that way, maybe tell them about the cool hike you went on or a boat excursion, and don't choose to share the details of your vacation that are most likely to make people wonder about sticker price (though personally I don't care if people wonder how much aspects of my vacation cost, and actually I'm a big bargain shopper when it comes to travel and will tell everyone exactly how much we spent on stuff if they ask, and also explain how we got good prices or found budget options because I am happy to share what I've learned to help others).

Op is not interested in going herself, she is pricing out the villa, boat tour and adding in the travel fares because she is counting other people's money to judge them and people like them in a post here. I've even heard people judge others for the likely cost of their camping equipment, on the budget end of travel. Jealousy and judgment of someone else's spending is not mentally healthy. Recently a poster who travels once a year planned to keep their first big vacation a secret from their mom for fear of this very judgment. There is something wrong with being obsessed over someone else's travel budget.

You are inferring that she is judging but I don't see it. In my case I was not judging my friend for getting a private chef-- if she can afford it, good for her. But I did have a moment of "whoa I wonder how much this trip cost, it sounds expensive" and also kind of wondering how they can afford it. That isn't judgment. It's just normal when you see peers spending money in a way you don't to wonder how they can afford it.

You cannot be this thin skinned about money. Get over it. Everyone is in a slightly different financial situation, even among colleagues or socioeconomic peers. It is normal for people to think about money when discussing things paid for with disposable income, like vacations, house remodeling, clothes, entertainment, etc. Freaking out because we a friend might think "huh I wonder how they afforded that trip, it sounds expensive" is childish. People do it all the time.