Does everyone on here with kids applying to top 50 schools really have the $80K per year to spend?

[Anonymous]

We're paying that for our kid to go to school this year. We have 529s for each of our kids and have made a lot of money so we can sort of afford anything, but that said we talked a lot about value during the application process. We weren't looking to spend $360,000 just because.

But when the application dust settled, DC didn't have as many options as we'd expected. They were accepted to a super reach and then their safeties. Since we have the means we couldn't overlook the difference in the name value provided by the super reach and it ultimately was DC's first choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the Midwest in an area where going to college was the expectation, but very little prestige given to this school over that. People mostly went public.

But .. there was also an expectation that kids got cars over their own in their teen years (new, nice cars). People cared indeed about brand names. People got married pretty young, bought an home at 30, and had their 3 or 4 kids by the time they were in their mid 30.

My parents were east coast transplants and we had to use the family car when it was free and applied to colleges further afield. We all went to Ivy League schools (in the day when it wasn’t that hard for full pay kids).

And now I live in Brooklyn and see this mania up close.

But as I watch my Midwest friends repeating this cycle I think, that’s a better way. It’s weird how this college thing overtakes a childhood. My old friends had more kids, roomy houses, less financial stress, got a lake house in MI or WI, are on track for retirement, and their kids had carefree childhoods. They all have fulfilling jobs. Their kids will too.

Why do we do this?

This is so interesting. What do you think is going on?

DP. The Joneses. We are in Arlington ($2-3 million SFH) and the first thing everyone asks is “where is Susie going to college?” And then the trading names of the top 10 universities begins. When your kid gets in, a lot feel pressure to follow suit and it feels a hurt to deny your kid that opportunity. We could swing the $80k but it would be a bite. We rationally will suggest in-state for undergrad. I mean we did that and managed to get ahead and end up where we did (both not from $) so our kids should be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the first two responses indicate, one reason people do pay all this money is that if you’re going to blink, you really need to do it early, like when you’re choosing high schools, to avoid massive social and emotional complications.

Good advice. For most of America, there’s no assumption you’ll be able to afford/attend the best school you can get into. But for certain parts of DCUMlandia, it raises eyebrows to tell your kids they can’t go to Harvard even if you get in due to cost. If that’s you, you gotta tell your kids early and often, because they might be in for a rude awakening.

I think it’s so unfair. I was reading the wall at journal article today about the kids going to Harvard needs-blind for free. A kid that was middle class under $150k but in low cost of living area—while of our kids got into these top 10-20 schools we’d have to say you can’t go because we aren’t draining retirement t accounts. We have about $130k in each kid’s 529, but they’d need $345k for these schools. So - yeah it sucks to say sorry you can’t get go while both parents have always worked full-time, no time off. It’s just not an equitable system. These kids going need blind werent first gen they were kids of teachers (one chose to be a substitute-part time teacher).

Did an adult really write this and think it was ok?

[Anonymous]

OP, do you not have 529s set up for your children? Since you asked.

Both DH and I had to pay for our own private colleges, our own homes, cars, and our own wedding, so setting up our children for college was never a joke to us. What we wanted, we paid for - it is a priceless experience, truly.

This meant no private K-12, no cars that were out of our reach, no vacations that were out of our reach, no homes or additions that were out of our reach. Nothing. It is just DH and I - no one else. If we asked for money for something we could not afford, each of our families would have looked at us blankly, shrugged, then changed the subject.

There was no guilting anyone into anything, period. Even if we (DC) were the only grandchildren.

So yeah, college was always a priority for us, from day one. We had no choice. Otherwise, you shop around for what you can afford, and tell your DC to apply to your list.

There is no merit scholarship for the top schools for which our DC were eligible. It does not work that way.

[Anonymous]

We have 3 kids in public high schools. We will pay for VA state schools and caped it at 60K (due to most expensive being UVA engineering with potential price increases each year). No more.

But we also are committed to helping our kids with grad school/law/med should they wish to go (no cap on that. We are both lawyers and we know how pricey it can be), and we are committed to putting 20% down payment on a home for each of them. We are willing to do about $80,000 for each after they have lived somewhere for at least 3-4 years.

So because of that, we're not shelling out $90K for undergrad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the Midwest in an area where going to college was the expectation, but very little prestige given to this school over that. People mostly went public.

But .. there was also an expectation that kids got cars over their own in their teen years (new, nice cars). People cared indeed about brand names. People got married pretty young, bought an home at 30, and had their 3 or 4 kids by the time they were in their mid 30.

My parents were east coast transplants and we had to use the family car when it was free and applied to colleges further afield. We all went to Ivy League schools (in the day when it wasn’t that hard for full pay kids).

And now I live in Brooklyn and see this mania up close.

But as I watch my Midwest friends repeating this cycle I think, that’s a better way. It’s weird how this college thing overtakes a childhood. My old friends had more kids, roomy houses, less financial stress, got a lake house in MI or WI, are on track for retirement, and their kids had carefree childhoods. They all have fulfilling jobs. Their kids will too.

Why do we do this?

This is so interesting. What do you think is going on?

DP. The Joneses. We are in Arlington ($2-3 million SFH) and the first thing everyone asks is “where is Susie going to college?” And then the trading names of the top 10 universities begins. When your kid gets in, a lot feel pressure to follow suit and it feels a hurt to deny your kid that opportunity. We could swing the $80k but it would be a bite. We rationally will suggest in-state for undergrad. I mean we did that and managed to get ahead and end up where we did (both not from $) so our kids should be fine.

You can't easily swing $80k because you bought a $2M house. That was your choice and that's fine. But please, no whining on the yacht.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, everyone that posts on this forum is a millionaire, and most have two high income parents adding to the family fortune.

That said there are top 50 schools that are less, either because of VA state residence or state schools in Illinois, Wisconsin, Texas, Georgia and Florida have reasonable out of state tuition.

So top 50 at around $50K or less is still possible. Other schools in the 50-100 range offer merit/tuition discounts to attract top students so provide a good value in education.

My DC’s 529 would cover 4 years of private tuition, and they applied ED to a to 20 school. In the meantime, they got accepted EA to a school that is very similar in many ways (same size, urban private university) in the 60-70 range (I’m not exactly sure, and I don’t really care enough to look) with $35k in merit aid per year. When they didn’t get in to the ED school, they were actually relieved (as was I). The difference truly wasn’t worth it. The extra $$ will probably be used for graduate school.

Yep, I told my kid to not apply ED to an expensive private. Going to a great in state with merit with money left over for both a masters and rollover to an IRA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup, we are a full pay family. The money is coming from a 529.

Same. We have put in $10k/year annually since 2005. 19 years of contributions + growth = pretty much entirely covered & can cash flow the rest.

We lived very frugally the first few years; thankfully our financial position improved over time.

Ditto times three. Add in $12k (for our oldest) and $20k (for our middle) merit aid and we have enough to cover undergrad. We’ve driven funky cars and lived in a modest house but this was a priority for us.

Similar story here. Small house on a busy street, buy used cars that we drive till they die, take low budget vacations. Finished paying off our grad school loans just in time for oldest kid to start at a great school, full pay. For us, it's worth the sacrifice.

No doubt much of America can't afford $80k. But I'm amazed at the people like the PP who lives in a $2-3m house and still complains that $80k "would be a bite." I'm sure there's also plenty of multiple $$ vacations each year and top-of-the-line cars. But suddenly they're the strapped middle class when it comes to paying for their kids' educations.

[Anonymous]

Re the Midwest PP. It sounds wonderful to grow up in the Midwest. Your friends are doing something right. This keeping up w the Jones’s is not good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny you should ask this OP.

When I hit “submit payment” and a link to deduct $42,650 from our bank account last Tuesday- for ONE SEMESTER- I had the same thought. Who in their right mind really does this?

Lots of us pay this for prek-12 for a couple kids in private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Re the Midwest PP. It sounds wonderful to grow up in the Midwest. Your friends are doing something right. This keeping up w the Jones’s is not good.

agree. because it's not just the 90k a year for college. it's the many years of grooming your kid to be attractive to these tiny minority of schools, in this very specific way: either athletics (which costs a fortune) or some spike-y extracurricular that is kooky yet academic-ish. many times it involves private k-12, camps, travel, tutors, and advisors. A jeep when a kid turns 16 would be a bargain in comparison. And probably make for a mentally stronger kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup, we are a full pay family. The money is coming from a 529.

Same. We have put in $10k/year annually since 2005. 19 years of contributions + growth = pretty much entirely covered & can cash flow the rest.

We lived very frugally the first few years; thankfully our financial position improved over time.

Ditto times three. Add in $12k (for our oldest) and $20k (for our middle) merit aid and we have enough to cover undergrad. We’ve driven funky cars and lived in a modest house but this was a priority for us.

Similar story here. Small house on a busy street, buy used cars that we drive till they die, take low budget vacations. Finished paying off our grad school loans just in time for oldest kid to start at a great school, full pay. For us, it's worth the sacrifice.

No doubt much of America can't afford $80k. But I'm amazed at the people like the PP who lives in a $2-3m house and still complains that $80k "would be a bite." I'm sure there's also plenty of multiple $$ vacations each year and top-of-the-line cars. But suddenly they're the strapped middle class when it comes to paying for their kids' educations.

DP here. This is how I feel. Private K-12, nice car/s, house with top of the line renos, etc. and suddenly you are shocked college costs money - and that your kid isn't getting a full ride at Harvard? Say what? Suck it up for your kids, otherwise, what is "worth it"?

[Anonymous]

We have a senior, junior and freshman in college this year. Two attend schools in the $82,000-$85,000 range and one is at a school that costs about $65,000. We are full pay and getting ready for number 4 to go to college in a few years. We have saved and have a high HHI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm realizing that the top 50 or so schools are all about $80K+ and none of them offer merit aid, outside of maybe CWRU.
The rest have 20-50 full-ride scholarships for their most elite students but that's pretty much it for merit aid.
Then of course there is UVA and W&M which are instate. And UMD which is ranked just above 50.
We've in DC so none of these in-states are particularly relevant.


So all this constant chatter about this or that top50 school----are you all paying the $80K/+year sticker price(s)?

College is around the corner for us and I'm realizing that yes indeed, they're all about that much. Guess I knew that in theory but it's another thing
entirely to think "huh, they're asking $360K for undergrad. Are we really going to pay it?"
Sobering.
Are people really paying it?

Are YOU willing to pay $80K+/year for YOUR kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny you should ask this OP.

When I hit “submit payment” and a link to deduct $42,650 from our bank account last Tuesday- for ONE SEMESTER- I had the same thought. Who in their right mind really does this?

Lots of us pay this for prek-12 for a couple kids in private.

Hopefully it is not OP, because if you can't afford it, then you can't afford it - and your kid needs to be told so.