Success stories/fairy tale endings please

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yeah OP = sorry everyone is being so harsh about your request but it's just hard to say in this environment and more kids get rejected than admitted to almost all of the top 100 schools. So that's why everyone is being so negative.

But yes, my DS got into 1 of his reaches and rejected from 4 other reaches. He ended up at a target and is very happy he chose that school.

I'm in it now with my DS 2023 senior and it really is all about the idea that no school is perfect, admissions is hard to predict, he will get into some school and probably like it, he has schools in the reach, target and safety that he would like to attend. And he knows from his older brother there is no school that is really perfect and you don't have to pick the school that is ranked highest.

Note as well - I know a few kids from my older DS year that transferred - even from high-ranking schools - so it really is better to focus on what your kid wants versus how a school is ranked.

The bolded part is what I think my family needs to focus on. The reason all these people are saying their kid is so happy they chose the school they did is, at least partially, b/c it's the only school they know as a student. Kids can be happy at a lot of places if they can let go of the idea that there was one perfect school for them. I was happy at my college, but I know I would have had a completely different and, likely, completely happy experience at a much larger school. My kid loves a T25 school with scary admissions rates, no ED option, but also without super high average stats for freshman class. No hook here, so we know the chances are slim. I think you have to be OK going somewhere where your stats are higher than the average.

And "going somewhere where your stats are higher than average" is perfectly fine. Keep in mind that a 1350 SAT is ~90th percentile. Still someone who is really smart, and your kid will do just fine surrounded by others like that even if they have a 1580. In fact, it might be helpful to learn to associate with a variety of people, because nobody is in a job where everyone is a "genius". Good practice for life.

If you want to choose a bigger school with more range of scores, then pick the honors college to find your group of "higher scoring" kids.

Agree with you. The “stats higher than average” comment says a lot about that poster. Stats aren’t everything. There are really bright kids who are lte bloomers, creative kids who don’t do well in traditional HS settings, etc. Thise kids have a ton to offer. Your “high stats” kid may gain a different perspective.

So, what's the point of working hard for those A's in the intense classes? The response above is disingenuous. I'm wondering what's the benefit of all that work if you could also get to the same spot with regular classes and more free time. I mean, I like that idea, but I'm not sure how that would fly with kids who have heard about the importance of class choice and grades since they were in middle school.

The benefit of working really hard for those A's? To actually learn, perhaps? To expand your knowledge base?
The concept that your "1580/4.8W" student can only function around others with similar stats is an attitude problem. There are plenty of really smart people who don't appear that way on paper after HS.

But your "1580/4.8W" will do just fine with kids with "1350/4.0 W"---or at least they should do just fine if they don't have an attitude that they are so much smarter than everyone else and entitled to be around only equally bright kids. Both are smart kids, in the top 10% of college bound kids. I graduated from a T10 university, yet at work was surrounded by people from all levels of universities. Nobody cared---nobody asks what your SAT score was or really where you went to college(after you get your first job). What matters is what you did in college, and what you do on the job. I know plenty of really smart people who attended their local state U where the avg SAT was 1050/1100---that was the place they could afford and they had a great experience.

The benefit of working really hard for those A's? To actually learn, perhaps? To expand your knowledge base? and getting into a better school.

Yeah, the same school you could have gotten in w/o the harder courses or the SAT prep.

So take that path. It’s your kid’s problem if they sold their soul to the devil and the devil breached the contract. This kids are screwed in life if they don’t learn balance. From wht I hear, most of them are so overloaded they are cheating their way through anyway.

+1 It's a good lesson to learn that you can have a healthy life and still get into a college that will give you a good education.

My DS's success story -- he had a 4.2 GPA/1490 SAT with a strong upward trend since it took him a bit of time to find his motivation in HS. Ended up with all As and a lot of APs as a senior. But, we encouraged him to take "only" three APs in junior year and then he took more in senior year but only focused on his interests. He was pretty relaxed with ECs, doing a couple things mainly as personal hobbies and one long-term service activity that he really cared about. He applied to five schools, only one of those a reach (UVA) and got in everywhere except UVA. He's at Virginia Tech and very happy with that decision.

DD is a senior with a slightly lower GPA and similar SAT. Similar approach to keep the junior year schedule lighter (thank goodness because she struggled with some health issues last year and through great persistence managed to end the year with half As/half Bs) and focus on strengths in senior year. She has more time-consuming ECs but again only things that are authentic interests, pursued at a level that she enjoys and wants to do, not about building the deepest resume possible. She has a list of 7 schools, only one reach. A couple of her favorites are safeties that she would be really happy to end up at. So, the process has not been stressful since we're confident she will have good options for her.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP, but your post does sound geared toward true reaches (not the "reach" to a school with a 60% acceptance rate). The best thing you can do for your kid to avoid the "bloodbath" is to help him/her find reaches, targets, and TRUE safeties they'd be happy going to. And if you have a high stats kid, they need to put the work in with the safety just as they would with the reach/match. High stat kids are sometimes sidelined in the yeild protection process.

This is what worries me.

Then apply ED. The only people complaining about "yield protection" are those who didn't bother to apply ED and still thought they'd get in.
DP

This is typical DCUM tone deaf. Not everyone can chance going ED if it means full pay at $80/year. Why is that so difficult to grasp?

If you are accepted ED but cannot afford it, you can decline. Why is that so difficult to grasp?

That really applies only to full pay or low income. If EFC is $50K and you cannot actually pay that (Because you just only make $160K/year and the federal govt somehow thinks that means you can afford $50K/year for your kid), then you can only get out of the ED if the aid is less than Total cost -50K. That is where many middle income families are---they can't afford to pay the EFC!!! So it means ED is not an option for your family.

First EFC, is not what the Federal Government thinks you can afford, it's just a number spit out by a formula applied uniformly to families. If it's too high, that reflects lack of funding for aid, not actual ability to pay, or any value judgement. Second, you fixate on your situation, and no doubt you'd prefer an EFC of $30K, but the family getting that EFC is likely making $100K. You really think paying $30K is any easier for that family, than paying $50K is for yours? They get a $20K discount, but they have to pay their bills with $60K less HHI. Now, sure there's an income level so high that EFC is full pay, and full pay is a pittance, but no aid formula can correct for that.

DCUM is right on this one, fairy tale endings come with a price tag, sorry you watched too many cartoons.

Was just explaining how not everyone can get out of ED because of finances. Personally we are Full pay and easily able to do that thru years of savings. But I'm capable of understanding that many people were not able to save due to circumstances beyond their control. So for many in the donut hole, they cannot afford what EFC is. Never said paying $30K is easier for a family making $100K. I get that everyone in the donut hole range is "screwed" if they were not able to save alot for college.

There is no donut hole, there are people who don't need to think about college cost, and there's everyone else. If it's a school that routinely offers merit aid, they will still be very interested in your ED application, but you need to talk with their admissions office prior to submitting an application. If they misrepresent the merit aid they'd offer, that's an out, same as financial aid. But the real point is people who talk about fairy tale endings usually aren't transparent about cost. And when they say oh, and a scholarship, it may be very small and, they're still paying much more than you would consider fairy tale. So quit day dreaming, and fixating on fairness. Figure out what each school will actually cost your family now, and apply to schools based on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP, but your post does sound geared toward true reaches (not the "reach" to a school with a 60% acceptance rate). The best thing you can do for your kid to avoid the "bloodbath" is to help him/her find reaches, targets, and TRUE safeties they'd be happy going to. And if you have a high stats kid, they need to put the work in with the safety just as they would with the reach/match. High stat kids are sometimes sidelined in the yeild protection process.

This is what worries me.

Then apply ED. The only people complaining about "yield protection" are those who didn't bother to apply ED and still thought they'd get in.
DP

This is typical DCUM tone deaf. Not everyone can chance going ED if it means full pay at $80/year. Why is that so difficult to grasp?

If you are accepted ED but cannot afford it, you can decline. Why is that so difficult to grasp?

That really applies only to full pay or low income. If EFC is $50K and you cannot actually pay that (Because you just only make $160K/year and the federal govt somehow thinks that means you can afford $50K/year for your kid), then you can only get out of the ED if the aid is less than Total cost -50K. That is where many middle income families are---they can't afford to pay the EFC!!! So it means ED is not an option for your family.

First EFC, is not what the Federal Government thinks you can afford, it's just a number spit out by a formula applied uniformly to families. If it's too high, that reflects lack of funding for aid, not actual ability to pay, or any value judgement. Second, you fixate on your situation, and no doubt you'd prefer an EFC of $30K, but the family getting that EFC is likely making $100K. You really think paying $30K is any easier for that family, than paying $50K is for yours? They get a $20K discount, but they have to pay their bills with $60K less HHI. Now, sure there's an income level so high that EFC is full pay, and full pay is a pittance, but no aid formula can correct for that.

DCUM is right on this one, fairy tale endings come with a price tag, sorry you watched too many cartoons.

Was just explaining how not everyone can get out of ED because of finances. Personally we are Full pay and easily able to do that thru years of savings. But I'm capable of understanding that many people were not able to save due to circumstances beyond their control. So for many in the donut hole, they cannot afford what EFC is. Never said paying $30K is easier for a family making $100K. I get that everyone in the donut hole range is "screwed" if they were not able to save alot for college.

There is no donut hole, there are people who don't need to think about college cost, and there's everyone else. If it's a school that routinely offers merit aid, they will still be very interested in your ED application, but you need to talk with their admissions office prior to submitting an application. If they misrepresent the merit aid they'd offer, that's an out, same as financial aid. But the real point is people who talk about fairy tale endings usually aren't transparent about cost. And when they say oh, and a scholarship, it may be very small and, they're still paying much more than you would consider fairy tale. So quit day dreaming, and fixating on fairness. Figure out what each school will actually cost your family now, and apply to schools based on that.

PP---my kid is at an $80K+ full pay. Turned down a $42K/year merit award at a similar school (ranked slightly lower). If you read my post, you would know that I was full pay. So not day dreaming at all. My kid can literally go to wherever they want. We are forking over $170K more for the 4 years for them to be at the school of choice. Happy to do it.

But I'm capable of recognizing that someone making only $140K/year might not have that opportunity. And I have empathy for that. But fully encourage someone in that situation to find the right school for them (and that includes affordability at the forefront of the decision---taking major loans is not a smart thing)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah OP = sorry everyone is being so harsh about your request but it's just hard to say in this environment and more kids get rejected than admitted to almost all of the top 100 schools. So that's why everyone is being so negative.

But yes, my DS got into 1 of his reaches and rejected from 4 other reaches. He ended up at a target and is very happy he chose that school.

I'm in it now with my DS 2023 senior and it really is all about the idea that no school is perfect, admissions is hard to predict, he will get into some school and probably like it, he has schools in the reach, target and safety that he would like to attend. And he knows from his older brother there is no school that is really perfect and you don't have to pick the school that is ranked highest.

Note as well - I know a few kids from my older DS year that transferred - even from high-ranking schools - so it really is better to focus on what your kid wants versus how a school is ranked.

The bolded part is what I think my family needs to focus on. The reason all these people are saying their kid is so happy they chose the school they did is, at least partially, b/c it's the only school they know as a student. Kids can be happy at a lot of places if they can let go of the idea that there was one perfect school for them. I was happy at my college, but I know I would have had a completely different and, likely, completely happy experience at a much larger school. My kid loves a T25 school with scary admissions rates, no ED option, but also without super high average stats for freshman class. No hook here, so we know the chances are slim. I think you have to be OK going somewhere where your stats are higher than the average.

And "going somewhere where your stats are higher than average" is perfectly fine. Keep in mind that a 1350 SAT is ~90th percentile. Still someone who is really smart, and your kid will do just fine surrounded by others like that even if they have a 1580. In fact, it might be helpful to learn to associate with a variety of people, because nobody is in a job where everyone is a "genius". Good practice for life.

If you want to choose a bigger school with more range of scores, then pick the honors college to find your group of "higher scoring" kids.

Agree with you. The “stats higher than average” comment says a lot about that poster. Stats aren’t everything. There are really bright kids who are lte bloomers, creative kids who don’t do well in traditional HS settings, etc. Thise kids have a ton to offer. Your “high stats” kid may gain a different perspective.

So, what's the point of working hard for those A's in the intense classes? The response above is disingenuous. I'm wondering what's the benefit of all that work if you could also get to the same spot with regular classes and more free time. I mean, I like that idea, but I'm not sure how that would fly with kids who have heard about the importance of class choice and grades since they were in middle school.

The benefit of working really hard for those A's? To actually learn, perhaps? To expand your knowledge base?
The concept that your "1580/4.8W" student can only function around others with similar stats is an attitude problem. There are plenty of really smart people who don't appear that way on paper after HS.

But your "1580/4.8W" will do just fine with kids with "1350/4.0 W"---or at least they should do just fine if they don't have an attitude that they are so much smarter than everyone else and entitled to be around only equally bright kids. Both are smart kids, in the top 10% of college bound kids. I graduated from a T10 university, yet at work was surrounded by people from all levels of universities. Nobody cared---nobody asks what your SAT score was or really where you went to college(after you get your first job). What matters is what you did in college, and what you do on the job. I know plenty of really smart people who attended their local state U where the avg SAT was 1050/1100---that was the place they could afford and they had a great experience.

You are missing the point. There are lots of kids who were told in MS that they needed the 1580/4.8 to get into a good college by their schools and took it to heart. So, they take AP classes in subjects that don't interest them. Seriously, the math that some of these kids are doing in 12th grade will NEVER matter once in college or the real world. Not everyone wants to be an engineer, but heaven forbid they don't take math senior year. They are told that they won't get into a good school if they take classes they really like and not the ones that "colleges want to see."

Except...........Some kids don't take it and they will all get into the same schools, but the one with the same course load likely sacrificed a lot. It's not about being smarter, necessarily. It's about taking an easier pathway and ending up in the exact same space.

Totally concur with this. My own kid chose not to take APUSH, AP English, AP Spanish in return for taking 8 AP STEM courses that matter to them and they wanted to take. All so kid could do an outside of school sport that takes 15+ hours/week, most of the year 20+ hours. I let my kid be a kid, choose the best path for them that interested them. And yes, they are at a great school where they belong. Had they done the other APs, there is a slight chance they might be at a different school (a T10 they ED to). But you know what, they probably wouldn't' have gotten in and would have just been miserable in HS with that extra workload. Ironically, my kid is at a university that doesn't have a traditional Core curriculum. So that means they couldn't have used the APUSH, AP ENg or AP Spanish, etc. for ANY credit at all (and same applies to their 2nd choice of school when deciding in April). So they wouldn't have even got any college credit for those courses. So point is, my kid definately made the right choice---because the only reason they considered those non-stem APs was to get college credit (and look good on applications).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is a freshman at USNWR T15, via ED1. No hooks.

Sounds like a "success," right? Wrong! He really dislikes almost everything about it.

It is so, so very much not what any of us expected. I stay silent, and I have not brought up the T-word (transfer).

This was his "dream school" and he did not expect to be accepted. He loved a couple of true matches (example: Auburn) along with his shitty current school.

ED is a hook because it favors full pay kids. And schools like Duke and Chicago have drastically higher admits rate for that round.

Why would they favor full pay only in ED.
They can probably fill up all spots with full pay if they wanted to in every round ED RD?

ED favors full pay, simply because it allows students to actually do ED.

[Anonymous]

My DC got into a CA reach with completely average(for the school) scores. Smack in the middle 50%. Miracles do happen OP!

[Anonymous]

My daughter had stellar grades, good ECs, got merit money from a top 20ish SLAC but she always wanted Ivy. Classmates at top private were going Ivy or top top SLAC. Well along came a 100 year storm (Pandemic)--she got in off the waitlist at the Ivy.