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A side note on complimenting pregnant women... is it an "American thing"?
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Anonymous
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so, I'm 30 weeks along with my 1st child. I'm not the kind of woman you would call "hormonal" but I have to admit that I get a little teary when I see emotional things what didn't usually happen before the pregnancy.
That being said, I was not one of the women feeling terribly fat or "transformed" by pregnancy. Honestly I can say I'm very comfortable with the way I look. All the books I've been reading say that women in this stage of pregnancy feel fat, ugly and so on. They state it's normal and you shouldn't let it make you sad. I don't feel that way at all. I don't know if that's just the way I am or my cultural background plays any role in this "well being" feeling overall. Anyway, what I notice though is how many people approached me saying "how gorgeous" I look or "the glow on your face is wonderful" and the like. People that never really complimented me suddenly came to me with compliments: in office, at school, not so close friends, the receptionist, people in church, friends of my husband... so, finally my question is: Is this an American thing to compliment pregnant women because people assume she's not feeling confident and happy with her appearance or it's genuine and they really think I look good? |
Anonymous
| I got compliments when I was pregnant too. Once, someone yelled:"you look gorgeous!!!" from a car while I was walking but I actually think people here is very conservative about this subject. in other cultures is ok to let others even strangers touch your belly, you do not even question it, here it is sometimes perceived as rude and invasive. If you are in the metro, people seldom give you their seats, same thing in a bus. In Italy for instance pregnancy is celebrated from the heart and wherever you go you are treated like a princess. Here, my girlfriends went to an Italian restaurant (the one now closed Galileo in DC) where most of the waiters were Italian and my pregnant friend was the center of attention. They did not charge her! |
Anonymous
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The only other country I've been pregnant in is Italy. I got tons of attention. Everyone from grocery check out clerks to passing priests, who all seemed to think it was a great and beautiful thing to be pregnant. I found it very endearing, especially as I felt like a giant cow at the time.
I think if I get pregnant again, I'll have to go back to Italy. Its hard to feel bad about your body when everyone tells you how wonderful you look all the time (and actually seems to mean it!) 
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Anonymous
| Enjoy it now, because it only happens with your first. After that you're too tired to look good. |
Anonymous
| I think the American culture (broadly speaking) is that you don't generally talk to strangers. Even to say something nice. I think this doesn't square with everyone's nature and people would like to reach out but don't always know how. So when you are pregnant or is with your baby it gives the other person a point of contact and provides an opportunity to make small talk ... e.g., you look good, how far along are you?, i have a grandson just his age, etc. Seeing pregnant women and babies also reminds people of a special time in their own lives and so they're more inclined to say something nice. I think it's a stretch to think that people would assume you are uncomfortable in your body (wait until 38 weeks!) or lack confidence in your appearance so are just trying to be kind. Or maybe you really do look good?! |
Anonymous
Yes, yes and yes! I haven't had one compliment with my second except congratulations. Last time, I couldn't get people to stop telling me how great my hair and skin looked, how I don't show from behind, etc. |
Anonymous
| I've gotten compliments with all three. I love it even though I do most of the time feel otherwise. I think pregnant woman are beautiful too! |
Anonymous
| people feel screwed to compliment and screwed to not. america is so bi polar. |
Anonymous
I was thinking the same thing. What an odd original post. |
Anonymous
| I hope it's more than an American thing, but if it is, go USA. |
Anonymous
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In response to OP's question as to whether the compliments are geniune or not - and this may be shocking - but, yes, in general, the compliments most likely are geniune.
FWIW, I didn't feel fat and ugly until the 37th week and I don't think that's because of my American upbringing. I was swollen and uncomfortable. I know plenty of women from other cultures that have felt the same during that time period. |
Anonymous
Why odd? In some cultures it's not polite to compliment beautiful/cute babies, brides and children. It's considered a sign of jealousy and envy. By the way OP wrote it's clear that she's not American. What's wrong with you people? So intolerant. Women can't cover themselves, can't question different cultural habits. You're so messed up! |
Anonymous
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If anything, I'd say it's an un-American thing. Not to say that Americans won't compliment you, but in other cultures, you can barely walk down the street with a pregnant belly.
I work in humanitarian non-profit, and while I never traveled overseas while pregnant, my colleagues visiting from other countries were SO complimentary and open about it. Every meeting I had started 10 minutes late (that is, later than the usual "africa time" which is 15 minutes behind our time) because everyone had to touch my belly, say a blessing, ask if it was my first, speculate on the baby's sex, reminisce on their own (or their wives') pregnancies, etc etc. |
Anonymous
When I was first showing, it used to almost freak me out when complete strangers would smile at me and then be extra nice. Then I got used to it. Then I had the baby and became invisible. It's the strangest thing. Going from the center of attention to the object holding the cute, adorable baby. Thought I should warn you. But don't worry, after a few weeks, you'll be so tired, you won't care 
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Anonymous
It's odd to ask whether people's nice comments are sincere. |