Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Wanted to post a short success story. When we were going through fertility treatment we always found comfort and hope in success stories. We tried unsuccessfully for several years to have children before turning to IVF. I won't lie, IVF was difficult. The physical toll, the shots, the mental strain, the financial costs, the wonderful thrill of becoming pregnant followed by the agony of miscarriages, etc... In the end, we successfully had a girl and then 2 years later a boy through IVF. It was absolutely worth it. Being a parent is hard, but every time we read the school forums here on DCUM and see how violently angry parents get in regards to school options for children, we can sit back and be grateful for getting to think through those issues.

Plus, after years of trying and 2 IVF births, we welcomed a wonderful healthy baby to our family last year - and that was a natural conception.

Stick with it, the odds are in most peoples favor, and the reward is so worth it. Stay strong!

[Anonymous]

I hear you and congrats. IVF sucked and I was on the fence whether we should even do it, but we were successful and I couldn’t love this little girl any more.

[Anonymous]

We’ve done 5 IVF cycles, all failures, and had 3 miscarriages from natural conceptions. How much longer should we hang in there, exactly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve done 5 IVF cycles, all failures, and had 3 miscarriages from natural conceptions. How much longer should we hang in there, exactly?

NP. A very personal choice. Some people have success immediately, others never. But statistically speaking, many will eventually have success. More so if there is an identifiable issue that can be addressed (via donor egg, sperm or embryo; progesterone regimen; gestational carrier). We did six cycles before having a take home baby. I get the frustration. She is absolutely worth all of the stress, pain, tears and $50,000 to get her. But I had plenty of days thinking it would never happen and I was wasting so much of everything and I definitely lost some of myself during the process. I hope you are within the statistic that succeeds. It’s not guaranteed (nothing in life is, really, right?) but I’ll be hoping for you on the days you don’t have hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve done 5 IVF cycles, all failures, and had 3 miscarriages from natural conceptions. How much longer should we hang in there, exactly?

Only you can know the answer.

Signed
7 IVFs, 2 miscarriages, 2 failed FETs with donor eggs, and one wonderful baby from donor egg. Started at 39, succeeded at 45.

[Anonymous]

I just want to echo this thread and add a donor egg/embryo statement. I 'hung in there' for 3 IUIs and 7 IVF retrievals and 3 miscarriages. They collected more than 60 eggs overall and transferred 17 blasts. It turned out all but the last 3 blasts were transferred too early for me (an ERA showed my receptivity needed 1 extra day of progesterone). My last retrieval was after the ERA but 15 eggs turned into 1 blast - my eggs were done. I got pregnant from the last transfer but it ended in my last miscarriage.

We moved forward to donor despite some worries but my donor egg baby is a joy and a revelation. The dream of being a mom was what pushed me through the worry and Im just so glad I did.

[Anonymous]

I’m struggling to hang in there. 5 retrievals, no good blasts, one day 3 miscarriage, one failed DE transfer and now I’m in my 2WW with my second DE transfer and feeling pessimistic. I’m so tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m struggling to hang in there. 5 retrievals, no good blasts, one day 3 miscarriage, one failed DE transfer and now I’m in my 2WW with my second DE transfer and feeling pessimistic. I’m so tired.

I posted above abt DE. My first DE transfer didn’t work but 2nd one did. Good luck to you and make sure they don’t have concerns abt implantation or ongoing gestation.

[Anonymous]

I hate this attitude. Treatment doesn’t work for everyone and not everyone gets happy endings. You are not bad, weak, or a failure for knowing when enough is enough. I’m sorry if you’re there and this post is piling on social pressure to keep going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m struggling to hang in there. 5 retrievals, no good blasts, one day 3 miscarriage, one failed DE transfer and now I’m in my 2WW with my second DE transfer and feeling pessimistic. I’m so tired.

I posted above abt DE. My first DE transfer didn’t work but 2nd one did. Good luck to you and make sure they don’t have concerns abt implantation or ongoing gestation.

Thank you. I had an ERA so I think concerns about receptivity have been addressed - I was receptive so nothing further was needed. Would you mind explaining how I would find out about ongoing gestation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m struggling to hang in there. 5 retrievals, no good blasts, one day 3 miscarriage, one failed DE transfer and now I’m in my 2WW with my second DE transfer and feeling pessimistic. I’m so tired.

I posted above abt DE. My first DE transfer didn’t work but 2nd one did. Good luck to you and make sure they don’t have concerns abt implantation or ongoing gestation.

Thank you. I had an ERA so I think concerns about receptivity have been addressed - I was receptive so nothing further was needed. Would you mind explaining how I would find out about ongoing gestation?

This wasnt an issue for me so i am not quite sure but some women need a gestational carrier. Is there any reason they think you cannot carry a baby once implanted. Is your lining appropriately thick etc.

[Anonymous]

I'm struggling. One IUI, 5 retrievals, 6 transfers, and 3 chemical pregnancies and I was defeated. Then we got pregnant spontaneously with our own little miracle, but I found out today at 9.5 weeks that we miscarried. We're going to do a 6th IVF round later but, man, this is hard. I appreciate the sentiment, and congrats on your success, but personally I feel like an outlier with really bad luck. I want to hear about women over 40 who managed to hang in there for 6+ retrievals and/or through 4+ losses and were successful. Maybe that will be me and I'll respond to this chain with good news in a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm struggling. One IUI, 5 retrievals, 6 transfers, and 3 chemical pregnancies and I was defeated. Then we got pregnant spontaneously with our own little miracle, but I found out today at 9.5 weeks that we miscarried. We're going to do a 6th IVF round later but, man, this is hard. I appreciate the sentiment, and congrats on your success, but personally I feel like an outlier with really bad luck. I want to hear about women over 40 who managed to hang in there for 6+ retrievals and/or through 4+ losses and were successful. Maybe that will be me and I'll respond to this chain with good news in a year.

Oh no, PP. I am so, so sorry. I posted upthread that I’m struggling too. This stuff is just too hard. I keep asking myself what is so terrible about me that the universe won’t let me have a baby. I’ve already moved to DE - what else do I have to do? After 5 retrievals, 4 transfers, and one miscarriage it just seems futile. I’m in the 2WW right now with my second DE transfer but I tested this morning and got a negative. It might be too early, I know that, but the writing is on the wall.

Sorry for that long vent session. I absolutely do know women over 40 who have had success after more than 4 losses. I’ve been in the fertility game for 5 long LONG years and I’ve seen many such women with their THBs. Honestly, a good chunk of them had success with DE, but not all. The one factor that determines success is persistence.

I know the next few weeks will be tough. Wish I could do something for you. I will keep you in my thoughts.

[Anonymous]

in the middle of my fifth miscarriage (third missed miscarriage), this one a DE. I guess now we get to do more genetic testing (karyotyping for spouse), maybe sperm fragmentation testing and maybe I need an exploratory lap for endo? It's just so exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm struggling. One IUI, 5 retrievals, 6 transfers, and 3 chemical pregnancies and I was defeated. Then we got pregnant spontaneously with our own little miracle, but I found out today at 9.5 weeks that we miscarried. We're going to do a 6th IVF round later but, man, this is hard. I appreciate the sentiment, and congrats on your success, but personally I feel like an outlier with really bad luck. I want to hear about women over 40 who managed to hang in there for 6+ retrievals and/or through 4+ losses and were successful. Maybe that will be me and I'll respond to this chain with good news in a year.

Oh no, PP. I am so, so sorry. I posted upthread that I’m struggling too. This stuff is just too hard. I keep asking myself what is so terrible about me that the universe won’t let me have a baby. I’ve already moved to DE - what else do I have to do? After 5 retrievals, 4 transfers, and one miscarriage it just seems futile. I’m in the 2WW right now with my second DE transfer but I tested this morning and got a negative. It might be too early, I know that, but the writing is on the wall.

Sorry for that long vent session. I absolutely do know women over 40 who have had success after more than 4 losses. I’ve been in the fertility game for 5 long LONG years and I’ve seen many such women with their THBs. Honestly, a good chunk of them had success with DE, but not all. The one factor that determines success is persistence.

I know the next few weeks will be tough. Wish I could do something for you. I will keep you in my thoughts.

I'm PP - thank you for this really sweet post. Somehow it went a long way to make me feel like I'm not alone. I really really hope this DE round works for you. And if for some reason it doesn't I hope you have clarity and confidence about your next step. I'm going to find and post to this thread again when I have my THB and I want to hear about yours too.