S/O Have you ever been the rebound?

[Anonymous]

The thread about the boyfriend who journals got me to thinking about the reboundee. Have you ever been that person? If so, how did you come to realize it? Also, have you ever gotten seriously involved with someone that you were clear was your rebound?

[Anonymous]

Yup, in my last relationship I was his rebound. He had been out of a 2 year relationship for only 3 months but assured me he had broken up with her and was over her.

I should have bailed, but he was actually extremely attentive and a very good boyfriend. But eventually I found out that he was on dating apps, even though he had told me we were exclusive. It was annoying, I felt like I played therapist and fixed him up after his bad relationship (he had a lot of trauma from it) so he could move on to a “real” relationship. But it was a good lesson to learn.

I actually have to drive by his house to get to my best friend’s house, and I think he got back with his ex.

[Anonymous]

Of course, and I’ve had plenty of rebounds. It’s going to happen in the dating world.

It sucks, and it hurts, but it’s dating

[Anonymous]

I married my rebound. I intended to use him and leave him but ....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married my rebound. I intended to use him and leave him but ....

Hmm. If he was admittedly your rebound, how did you transition him out of that role? Rebounds are typically not able to upgrade from their role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my rebound. I intended to use him and leave him but ....

Hmm. If he was admittedly your rebound, how did you transition him out of that role? Rebounds are typically not able to upgrade from their role.

He transitioned himself. He was tenacious.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I was assured that they were done but there were so many red flags I see now in hindsight. I was much younger than him and dazzled by what I thought was his maturity (he owned a home, and a few other cues that felt very adult to me). It fell apart when I caught him texting her, he confessed that he had been seeing and talking to her. It messed me up for a long time because it was so much emotional whiplash.

[Anonymous]

Possibly, but I cannot say with 100% certainty. I suspect I have. Never discussed.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but he was endowed like a horse so for the brief time I was with him it was worth it. That was about the only thing about him that was memorable.

[Anonymous]

Yes! I dated a guy in college who had recently broken up with his first love. He was cute and we got along pretty well. On our Christmas break he got back together with his ex and didn’t tell me (I don’t know why!). I only found out when we went on a group trip and I was flipping through his camera and saw selfies of him and her kissing the day before. Oops!

[Anonymous]

Yes, as a guy it was great because the woman wanted to prove to herself that her break up wasn’t because the sex was bad.

[Anonymous]

Maybe...was in a foreign country for a month and connected with a hot guy. He had recently split from a long term girlfriend. I have no way of knowing whether that was true or not. But he was my first really big crush and we had a brief fling and I flew back to the states.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my rebound. I intended to use him and leave him but ....

Hmm. If he was admittedly your rebound, how did you transition him out of that role? Rebounds are typically not able to upgrade from their role.

Pregnancy

[Anonymous]

I was a rebound. There was a guy in college my wife liked. A lot of girls liked him. She was seeing him, but he cheated on her. She ended the relationship, and then we started dating. The other guy became jealous and told her he loved her. She turned him away. She told me he was mean. We've been together 30 years.

[Anonymous]

When we broke up, he left everything in our house. I wanted to throw everything out but I couldn’t. I think it was kind of like a hook to keep him in my mind. We shared so many things from coffee cups to stationeries, the bomber winter coats and sweaters. He used to also suck on those strings a lot and when I wore them, sometimes that spit smell on it reminded me of the sex. Eww I know.... but I kept wearing the coat because it had his smell!

Anyway after a few months, he came around, did the apologies and pledge etc so I took him in again. But when he cheated the second time, I knew I had to burn everything, including that $600 winter coat, our shared camping tent, pillows. Everything. Truly then was he really out of my life.