Nanny share family with high-exposure job and school-aged child

[Anonymous]

We have a nanny share set to start in the fall for our 5-month-old. We really like the other family and their nanny, who has been diligently social distancing. Here's the thing: The dad is a primary care physician and they have an older child who will likely be returning to school, possibly part-time (so will be with the nanny part-time).

We're so grateful for everything our share family and all doctors, teachers, and other frontline workers continue to do, even at their own risk. We just don't know what to do in this situation. We've been so careful, even having our parents and ourselves covid tested before they got to meet our infant. If we exit the nanny share we'll be without childcare, but if we stay there will be a lot of exposure no one can control. As we consider opening our circle to more frequently include grandparents, we're concerned about their exposure, too.

Am I too worrisome? Not enough? We're navigating first time parenthood in a pandemic best we can!

[Anonymous]

If you aren’t comfortable being in a nanny share with this family I imagine you probably should think about a private nanny. Even if you find another family, you will never truly know what their exposure is. A physician is likely taking every possible precaution to protect their family.

[Anonymous]

^^
Not trying to sound harsh, but I just think it’s truly impossible to know what other people are doing so you have to decide if you are ok with a nanny share or not.

[Anonymous]

It will be fine. Everyone has to open themselves up to some degree of risk. This is still relatively low. Have the nanny remove her shoes, wash her hands, and wear a mask if it makes you feel better.

[Anonymous]

Primary dare doctors aren’t really “high exposure.” It’s not like he’s in a covid icu or something. Presumably all his patients will be screened and wearing masks at appointments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Primary dare doctors aren’t really “high exposure.” It’s not like he’s in a covid icu or something. Presumably all his patients will be screened and wearing masks at appointments.

How is a patient going to have anything in their mouth or nose checked if they’re masked? Yes, a doctor should be wearing a mask. However, staff in hospitals get N-95 gear, most gps don’t have access to it right now.

With that said, I think that the older child is likely to be just as much of a vector as the doctor. It’s especially important if the older child will be in contact with your child multiple full days every week.

Look for a new share. Explain to the current share family that you have decided that you just aren’t comfortable with that level of risk. As long as you find another family who is low risk, you’ll be fine.

Keep in mind that the nanny is also a vector, unless she’s live-in.

[Anonymous]

No way. Or at your house and they don't enter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Primary dare doctors aren’t really “high exposure.” It’s not like he’s in a covid icu or something. Presumably all his patients will be screened and wearing masks at appointments.

How is a patient going to have anything in their mouth or nose checked if they’re masked? Yes, a doctor should be wearing a mask. However, staff in hospitals get N-95 gear, most gps don’t have access to it right now.

With that said, I think that the older child is likely to be just as much of a vector as the doctor. It’s especially important if the older child will be in contact with your child multiple full days every week.

Look for a new share. Explain to the current share family that you have decided that you just aren’t comfortable with that level of risk. As long as you find another family who is low risk, you’ll be fine.

Keep in mind that the nanny is also a vector, unless she’s live-in.

Studies from other countries show the child unlikely to be a vector of infection. The more likely path is the parent and nanny infect each other and maybe kids ( in some direction).

My spouse is a physician. You sound too risk averse.to be in a share with the , op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Primary dare doctors aren’t really “high exposure.” It’s not like he’s in a covid icu or something. Presumably all his patients will be screened and wearing masks at appointments.

How is a patient going to have anything in their mouth or nose checked if they’re masked? Yes, a doctor should be wearing a mask. However, staff in hospitals get N-95 gear, most gps don’t have access to it right now.

With that said, I think that the older child is likely to be just as much of a vector as the doctor. It’s especially important if the older child will be in contact with your child multiple full days every week.

Look for a new share. Explain to the current share family that you have decided that you just aren’t comfortable with that level of risk. As long as you find another family who is low risk, you’ll be fine.

Keep in mind that the nanny is also a vector, unless she’s live-in.

Studies from other countries show the child unlikely to be a vector of infection. The more likely path is the parent and nanny infect each other and maybe kids ( in some direction).

My spouse is a physician. You sound too risk averse.to be in a share with the , op.

Then how do you explain the outbreak in the child care center in TX?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Primary dare doctors aren’t really “high exposure.” It’s not like he’s in a covid icu or something. Presumably all his patients will be screened and wearing masks at appointments.

How is a patient going to have anything in their mouth or nose checked if they’re masked? Yes, a doctor should be wearing a mask. However, staff in hospitals get N-95 gear, most gps don’t have access to it right now.

With that said, I think that the older child is likely to be just as much of a vector as the doctor. It’s especially important if the older child will be in contact with your child multiple full days every week.

Look for a new share. Explain to the current share family that you have decided that you just aren’t comfortable with that level of risk. As long as you find another family who is low risk, you’ll be fine.

Keep in mind that the nanny is also a vector, unless she’s live-in.

You can get N95 masks and respirators online and at a minimum cheap surgical masks. There is no excuse for a doctor not to have them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Primary dare doctors aren’t really “high exposure.” It’s not like he’s in a covid icu or something. Presumably all his patients will be screened and wearing masks at appointments.

How is a patient going to have anything in their mouth or nose checked if they’re masked? Yes, a doctor should be wearing a mask. However, staff in hospitals get N-95 gear, most gps don’t have access to it right now.

With that said, I think that the older child is likely to be just as much of a vector as the doctor. It’s especially important if the older child will be in contact with your child multiple full days every week.

Look for a new share. Explain to the current share family that you have decided that you just aren’t comfortable with that level of risk. As long as you find another family who is low risk, you’ll be fine.

Keep in mind that the nanny is also a vector, unless she’s live-in.

You can get N95 masks and respirators online and at a minimum cheap surgical masks. There is no excuse for a doctor not to have them.

Real ones? No. If you can even find them they are very expensive.

[Anonymous]

Why did you form a share with this family in the first place? Presumably you knew about COVID when you did.

I would quit the share only because why open yourself up to this much exposure if you don't have to. If you are working from home and have no school-aged children, form a share with someone similar. There are plenty of families looking to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Primary dare doctors aren’t really “high exposure.” It’s not like he’s in a covid icu or something. Presumably all his patients will be screened and wearing masks at appointments.

How is a patient going to have anything in their mouth or nose checked if they’re masked? Yes, a doctor should be wearing a mask. However, staff in hospitals get N-95 gear, most gps don’t have access to it right now.

With that said, I think that the older child is likely to be just as much of a vector as the doctor. It’s especially important if the older child will be in contact with your child multiple full days every week.

Look for a new share. Explain to the current share family that you have decided that you just aren’t comfortable with that level of risk. As long as you find another family who is low risk, you’ll be fine.

Keep in mind that the nanny is also a vector, unless she’s live-in.

Studies from other countries show the child unlikely to be a vector of infection. The more likely path is the parent and nanny infect each other and maybe kids ( in some direction).

My spouse is a physician. You sound too risk averse.to be in a share with the , op.

+1. It sounds like you need a private nanny, not a share OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Primary dare doctors aren’t really “high exposure.” It’s not like he’s in a covid icu or something. Presumably all his patients will be screened and wearing masks at appointments.

How is a patient going to have anything in their mouth or nose checked if they’re masked? Yes, a doctor should be wearing a mask. However, staff in hospitals get N-95 gear, most gps don’t have access to it right now.

With that said, I think that the older child is likely to be just as much of a vector as the doctor. It’s especially important if the older child will be in contact with your child multiple full days every week.

Look for a new share. Explain to the current share family that you have decided that you just aren’t comfortable with that level of risk. As long as you find another family who is low risk, you’ll be fine.

Keep in mind that the nanny is also a vector, unless she’s live-in.

You can get N95 masks and respirators online and at a minimum cheap surgical masks. There is no excuse for a doctor not to have them.

Real ones? No. If you can even find them they are very expensive.

True. Also, N95 masks ARE respirators. I'm not convinced PP understands the products being discussed at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Primary dare doctors aren’t really “high exposure.” It’s not like he’s in a covid icu or something. Presumably all his patients will be screened and wearing masks at appointments.

How is a patient going to have anything in their mouth or nose checked if they’re masked? Yes, a doctor should be wearing a mask. However, staff in hospitals get N-95 gear, most gps don’t have access to it right now.

With that said, I think that the older child is likely to be just as much of a vector as the doctor. It’s especially important if the older child will be in contact with your child multiple full days every week.

Look for a new share. Explain to the current share family that you have decided that you just aren’t comfortable with that level of risk. As long as you find another family who is low risk, you’ll be fine.

Keep in mind that the nanny is also a vector, unless she’s live-in.

Studies from other countries show the child unlikely to be a vector of infection. The more likely path is the parent and nanny infect each other and maybe kids ( in some direction).

My spouse is a physician. You sound too risk averse.to be in a share with the , op.

+1. It sounds like you need a private nanny, not a share OP.

I think people are being mean and trying to paint OP as paranoid. She’s not.

She has a young infant and grandparents to consider. This nanny share is a bad fit for her family. She should try to find a different family with just a baby to share with.

OP, you’re being completely reasonable. There’s no reason to include a school age child in your bubble if you don’t have to. The current nanny family is too high risk for you. Start looking for other families with similar risk exposure and you’ll be better off.