What would you do if you thought your DH/DW favored one of your kids?

[Anonymous]

And if they refused to acknowledge favoring a particular kid? Is there anything that could be done in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Concentrate on the parent's actions vs. getting them to admit something. Is there an actual difference in treatment? Does Larla get more time then Larlo? Get more treats? More attention? That's the problem.

"Bob, I think you should spend the day with Nathan. You've been attending all of Oscar's soccer games and Nathan seems to be pretty lonely right now. I can take the other kids tomorrow."

If he/she does have a favorite, don't treat it like something horrifying. Just deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Concentrate on the parent's actions vs. getting them to admit something. Is there an actual difference in treatment? Does Larla get more time then Larlo? Get more treats? More attention? That's the problem.

"Bob, I think you should spend the day with Nathan. You've been attending all of Oscar's soccer games and Nathan seems to be pretty lonely right now. I can take the other kids tomorrow."

If he/she does have a favorite, don't treat it like something horrifying. Just deal with it.

This. It might just be that the parent gets along better with one kid than the other, which is not at all surprising because kids are individuals and have their own personalities. Pushing them to admit that they have a favorite is unlikely to be successful -- you're trying to get them to admit that they are a bad parent in some way.

Focus only on specific actions, but don't expect everything to be exactly the same. Equal =/= identical. Make sure that each parent has some time alone with each kid. If kids are being held to different standards of behavior (that are not justified by age/development), then talk about that.