sibling rivalry
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| Still going on as young adults, can parents do anything? |
Anonymous
| Who are you in this situation? You need to provide more details/examples. |
Anonymous
| No, at some point you are a grown adult and make decisions for yourself, not in competition with your sibling. |
Anonymous
| If you are the sibling, no. If you are the parent, no again. Just love them both and don't get into the rivalry. |
Anonymous
|
Not really. Encourage them to see their siing as a whole person and try to encourage a relationship by facilitating good experiences together. Shut down competitive talking doen to each other(not banter. You know the difference).
Most cases, it is something fostered and fed by the parents. A little is age, in high school. At least one of the kids has an issue with validation or inferiority complex. That is for them to work on, though. It isn't normal or healthy for someone to be ultra competitive and tearing their siing down/seeing them as an opponent. They can be competitive in a healthy way, seeing themselves as on the same team. |
Anonymous
| You should have done something about it early on and you were probably part of the problem. |
Anonymous
| Sibling rivalry is mostly due to parental favoritism. Maybe you are contributing |
Anonymous
| Sibling rivalry is not natural--it's allowed by parents or created by the favoritism they show children. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
Absolutely. It's a symptom, most of the time, of other dysfunction in the home. Definitely stay out of it (if you are the parent). They'll never be able to move forward with you in the picture, since your actions got their relationship to where it is in the first place. |
Anonymous
+2. My parents pitted my sisters and me against each other, either through ignorance, emotional immaturity, or insecurity. “Oh, well your sister...”. There was never enough love to go around so we fought for scraps until one by one we woke up to the fact that the prize wasn’t worth having. It wasn’t until we were in our 30s and all more emotionally free from our dysfunctional parents that we were able to rebuild. The rivalry is gone now, and been replaced by healthy support and respect for our differences. |
Anonymous
| No. My parents like PP always pitt my sister and I against each other and I refuse to participate. I have little contact with them or my sister. I feel bad for my sister as she's not married or in a relationship so long term, she will not have any family at some point. |
Anonymous
This is similar to me however my sister has a husband and children. I just feel bad for my sister and I that we won't have family at the end of this. I know my mother is involved as my sister has rung me up accusing me of things I hadn't done saying that my mother told her things. When I confronted my mother she tried to say she didn't mean it. Usually the parents are instrumental in causing the failed sibling relationship. |
Anonymous
|
This is so weird. My sister and I never got along and I don’t see anything my parents did that contributed. I’m really curious about all the posts that say it has to be the parents’ fault. Interesting.
I was only going to say that my sister and I only started to get along when we were more distanced, and only saw each other a few times per year. We still can’t go more than 3 days, but having separate lives really helps. |
Anonymous
| (Not to say - maybe my sister experienced being compared/pitted against me and I missed it since I’m 18 months older?) |