So burnt out

[Anonymous]

After months of working from home full time, entertaining and managing my two kids 24/7 and trying to keep my house from completely falling apart I honestly don’t know how much longer I can do this. As usual, it’s 11pm and I am still working to catch up from what I could not do during the day. I have a pretty demanding job and feel like I am not producing quality work at all right now, but at the same time my parenting is not so great either since my kids constantly complain that I am always working - which may be true because it takes forever to get anything done. Most nights I go to sleep between 12-1am and baby wakes me at 6am daily. DH tried to be helpful but the kids have been super clingy and only want be for the most part.

I have not watched a TV show or read a book in months and have exactly zero seconds to myself each week. I gave up on any kind of deeper cleaning a month ago and only do the bare minimum.

Does anyone else feel like they are about to lose it? Any tips for how to get through the next few months?

[Anonymous]

Hire childcare. Also, your DH should not be trying to be “helpful” he should be a parent.

[Anonymous]

Yep. Yep. Yep.

DH is over it and has checked out. He cooks most of the dinners, which is wonderful, but otherwise he does nothing around the house.

I have no idea how to keep this up. We’re talking about taking a vacation - maybe rent an air bnb somewhere for a change of scenery. Of course I’d have to give the place a deep clean when we get there, so I don’t know.

[Anonymous]

Get help with cleaning (if kids can stay in another room with windows open) or meal delivery. Husband should give you half the day uninterrupted.

[Anonymous]

Bring back or hire cleaners, if your budget allows. How old are the kids/baby? Can they go back to day care? Most of my two working parent friends and family have sent kids back to day care. If you’re in Fairfax County, I just saw a post that there are some day camps opening for children where all adults in the home are working.

[Anonymous]

I could have written it, except my job is less demanding, but I did have to start coming into the office a few days a week. I now feel like those are my days off. I get it about DH. The kids always want me if I am in the house and there is no way in hell to explain to a 3 yo that mommy is working and daddy is fully qualified to get him milk/wipe but/change batteries etc. It is draining. No advice, just commiseration.

[Anonymous]

I read it as you were a single parent and I get that. But you’re not so your DH needs to get in the game.

[Anonymous]

We have booked two houses for long weekends during the summer. A change of scenery and some time hiking and in the river will be gratefully appreciated.

We do have a schedule for DS. He does some type of academic thing in the morning, duolingo, Khan, workbook, starting at 9. He plays from 9:45-10:30. He does something academic at 10:30, normally reading. Plays at 11:00, although he has been choosing to keep reading. Lunch around 12:00. DH and he do something from 1-3. I do stuff with him from 4-5 and then make dinner. Family walk.

But we have 1 child who is pretty chill.

There is no reason why your husband isn't doing more. If he is checking out of the kid stuff then gets all the laundry, cooking (breakfast, lunch and dinner), and cleaning.

I would look into hiring a high school kid to come and do stuff with your older kids during the afternoon. My DH would not, he is more risk averse then I am.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand post like this. Tell your lazy as husband that because you are on Monday through Friday, you will be taking Saturday and sundays off. Let him deal with the kids. Stay at a friends house, family member or a hotel on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Childcare needs to be split 50/50, so long as you both are working.

What he does isn’t “help”; it’s taking care of his damn kids.

[Anonymous]

You are saving big bucks on daycare right? Hire cleaners and a part time nanny.

[Anonymous]

We hired cleaners, tipped them an extra $20. It made a world of difference. Take two hours off of work to take the kids out to the park and leave the check on your fridge. I am so sorry.

[Anonymous]

About 4 weeks ago, we started up with house cleaning and a part time nanny. It has made all the difference.

We have a 3 yo and 5 yo, and our nanny comes from 8:30 to 1:30.

At 1:30, the kids go have an hour of quiet time, followed by a 30 minute video at 2:30

Snack at 3, a bit of hanging out after, and DH or I stop work at 4.

We each now have a 5 hour stretch every day to focus, and then 2 hours of low-level maintenance.

It's been working out really well.

[Anonymous]

Have your husband either be more of a parent or give him all the house stuff.

[Anonymous]

This is OP... I didn’t mean to imply DH does nothing and it’s all on me. He actually cooks and cleans up from most meals, and again tries with the kids but it’s hard because they know I am home hiding in the bedroom so sometimes they just scream and cry for me at the door and it is what it is. We trade off because we each have meetings throughout the day, but because our work is constantly disrupted it just takes longer.

The problem is that I have a demanding job with lots of work that needs to be done every single day, and I can’t lock myself in a room to do it from 9-5. I also have a second even more demanding job called parenting that requires even more hours during the day... and doing both all day every day for months is coming at the cost of my sanity.

We do have a cleaning lady but she is full steam back to work so I was hesitant to have her come but maybe I need to.

We also have a nanny but she has 2 kids and her husband is back at work so I have been trying to be flexible with her since I don’t want to lose her, but at the same time we can’t just never have her back again because she needs to watch her own kids.