What would DCUM do?
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Anonymous
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Something has to give and I don't know what to choose to better manage my work/life balance. Here are the facts:
-I WFH normally. I have a flex schedule of 30 hours per week. Pre-COVID, I had 15 hours of childcare (toddler preschool program) and then do the other 15 hours during nap time and eveings. -DH has been WFH since March and will be at least through July. He works 8am-5pm -We have a 2.5yo DD -I'm pregnant number two and have HG -I cannot quit my job it is an absolute unicorn position and my true passion Options: 1. DD's preschool is opening a modified summer camp. 10 toddlers doing outside activities 3x a week from 10am-1pm. Cost $20/day 2. My MIL can watch DD 10 hours per week. However, she works a public facing job 20 hours per week so is this any safer than letting DD play with kids outside? Other cons- she is very much a sit and watch grandma, no peer socialization. Obviously this would be free. 3. Getting an in home sitter 10 hours per week to primarily play with DD outside. I imagine we could only find a high school or college student happy with 10 hours. Can I trust them to social distance on their own time/is this even any safer than childcare? Cons- again no peer socialization, probably $50/day. 4. Continue schlepping through DH WFH, me wfh, cooped up toddler, me puking all day everyday. Note we are now in Chicago suburbs not DC WWYD? |
Anonymous
| Do you have access to medical leave? I'd take some. |
Anonymous
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Absolutely number 1.
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Anonymous
I don't |
Anonymous
| Number 1! Wish I had that option. |
Anonymous
| Pregnant with HG. Um I’d be doing 1, 2, and 3. |
Anonymous
| I’m sorry, OP, but #4. I know it’s hard and it sucks but it’s the only safe option. I don’t know what your numbers are in Chicago but where I live (Central California) they are on the rise again. |
Anonymous
This. You're pregnant and every option but 4 increases the risk of the virus entering your home, despite all you hear about how "kids are less likely to get/transmit the virus." "Less likely" still isn't great for a pregnant woman who also has a condition that surely weakens her overall health (HG). Can DH take any forms of leave or is he so limited he has to save it all for when you're home with a newborn plus toddler? MIL spending 20 hours a week public-facing; college age child care person who likely can't guarantee distancing; preschool with other kids and adults who may be working other jobs (because, wow, that's one cheap summer camp -- won't those employees need other income?) -- all sound like recipes for too much exposure from too many directions right now. I'm sorry. HG sucks even if all else is great. No one close enough geographically and personally who could be part of a two-family bubble with your family and whom you would trust to stay distanced, no work outside home, etc.? That may be a luxury you don't have -- most of us don't. |
Anonymous
| OP, I had HG with both my pregnancies. Hats off to you for continuing to you work. While pregnant with my second, my husband was working out of the country and we have no family local. I ended up withdrawing my oldest from kindergarten (it was the last few weeks) and sent him to live with my family because I was in and out of the hospital with HG. In your situation, I would choose 1 or 3. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Yes,with all options, there is the chance to catch the virus. Hopefully, it will not happen. But for you to function, you have to have a break. I think only a woman who has suffered with HG would understand. If your HG subsides (mine lasted until weeks 13/14 but I know some women suffer until birth), you can reassess. Good Luck. |
Anonymous
| What is your plan for when you have #2? Something's gotta give. |
Anonymous
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It will entirely depend on the pandemic status in your area.
If the numbers are low, then Option 1. However you need a plan in place if there is a surge, and you need another plan for when you give birth and need childcare for 2 children. |
Anonymous
| OP here- my mom ia going to move in with us after number 2 comes. It just can't happen immediately. She has to retire and find renters for her condo first. |
Anonymous
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I'd do #1 as long as I understood that there was lots of santizing and washing and the being outside is rather nice in Chicago (in DC that woudn't work, it's too effin' hot many days to be out for 4 hours0
What are the plans for 1. DD's preschool is opening a modified summer camp. 10 toddlers doing outside activities 3x a week from 10am-1pm. Cost $20/day I mean, are they going to check temperatures or do a health screen at arrival? they are they staying outside most/all morning, which is great - how many teachers? Actually, i think teachers are VERY worried about their health - THEY are worried that the kids' parents are not social distancing so they worry about getting it from kids who get it from parents not wearing masks, going out to restaurants, etc. SO - I'd do # 1 if they tell you kids are outside adults wearing masks lots of hand washing, cleaning of materials at end of every day, keeping just a few teachers with the kids, etc cleaning all materials (markers, legos, etc) at end of each day And then when your toddler gets him he/she will SLEEP because they'll be very tired, so win win! |
Anonymous
| I think I’d go option 3 and ask a lot of social distancing questions in the interview. This is a pretty sweet job for a teen, and it sounds like you guys have been very careful about socially distancing, so maybe a teen with a health issue or a family with a health issue that’s being just as careful as you are? Ask around. |
Anonymous
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How far along are you in pregnancy? I'd probably opt for #1.
I saw this article about the actual, known rusks of COVID in kids. Outdoors is incredibly safe: https://ies.ed.gov/ncee/edlabs/regions/midatlantic/pdf/ReopeningPASchools.pdf Is there any way for your husband to flex his hours? Even a little bit? |