Overdue- advice on when to start maternity leave?

[Anonymous]

FTM looking for advice- based on family history I am anticipating the possibility of being overdue by at least 10 days. I’m currently very close to due date and still working at a somewhat stressful desk job (so no physical considerations other than sitting is already getting painful and resulting in some light swelling due to all the pressure of weight of baby). My job involves late hours and working through weekends so I don’t have any downtime. I’m not really sleeping anymore due to all the discomfort but can’t nap as doctor suggests due to work. I wanted to maximize all of my leave time with baby and planned to work up until I go into labor But now am wondering if I should plan to have a set end date at 41 weeks or so. If I wasted a few extra data at home I could always use them to rest and prepare apartment for baby? Any advice? Should I try to soldier on until labor or decide on a cut off date of some kind? (I would need to decide this now so I can give work a heads up if I want to start mat leave before labor- I have a generous nearly 6 months of paid/unpaid leave)

[Anonymous]

Are you telecommuting? That would be a big factor for me. I was very nervous in my pregnancies with going into labor or having my water break while at work and having that be a whole thing (plus my work was very far from the hospital). Telecommuting I would probably push it to the last possible minute. The water breaking is not at all like in the movies -- it just keeps pouring out of you for what seems like ever.
Also, I think family history isn't a great predictor on this stuff. My sisters all went weeks late, but my water broke on my due date.

[Anonymous]

If you are very close to your due date, why haven't you set a maternity leave date already with your employer?
Are you waiting until you're in the delivery room then phoning it in?

[Anonymous]

For me, I was so anxious waiting for baby to come that I wanted the distraction of work. Although I started to transition work around 36 weeks in case I went early, so while I was still working, it was on easier projects. Doesn’t sound like the case for you.

I had my last doctors appointment and NST the day before 42 weeks, and knew I would be induced at 42 weeks, so my last day of work was the day before. I was just a ball of nerves that whole day with nervous energy. I would have hated more down time and was glad to have extra time with my baby once they were here.

[Anonymous]

Can you work from home or get any other accommodations? Otherwise, I would start within the next 3 days based on your discomfort.

[Anonymous]

With #1 I worked until 3 days after my due date. I had a check up that day and I was exhausted and miserable, and at my request my OB gave me a note to start my leave. Not sure if it was required by my employer, but I wanted to cover bases. Anyway I wrapped up some stuff, sent my last emails, etc. and settled in for a relaxing evening and the baby wait. Went into labor about 2 hours later.

#2 was a scheduled induction and again I worked until the day before.

But I didn’t have maternity leave and work on a very small team, so was back to work around 11 weeks both times. If I had 6 months leave I would absolutely have stopped a week or so before my due date. Several of my friends took off the last 2 weeks.

Good luck and congrats!

[Anonymous]

I just did a bad job at work up to my due date

[Anonymous]

Are you a lawyer? The job and the maternity leave sound like biglaw!

I went 9 days late with my first kid and worked until the day I delivered. All of my work was pretty well farmed out at that point, but I kept doing things to lighten the load while I could. The morning I woke up in labor, I sent a message to my team and put my assistant on notice that I was out.

By that point, I couldn't move around well enough to do much at home! Doing a load of laundry was like dragging an elephant around the house. I was much better at sitting in a chair and working than I was at getting things set up! Really appreciated all of the time with the baby on the back end.

[Anonymous]

With six months of leave and a stressful job, yes, I’d pick a cut off date. Somewhat dependent on how late your docs will let you go. If they won’t induce until 42 weeks, I’d probably plan to stop at 41. If they’d only let you go a week late, I’d probably cut off at my due date. Don’t count on that time though - some people are early, and lots on time-ish, even with a family history of late deliveries.

If you had the standard 12 weeks of leave, my advice would be completely different. At 10, 11, 12, 13 weeks old, each week makes a HUGE difference. I ended up burning a week of my leave on a very long induction and labor, and I felt that acutely going back to work when my baby was 11 weeks old. And by 14 weeks he was like a whole different person! But a week or two makes much less of a difference in a six month old.

[Anonymous]

You have six months of leave. Take it starting at 41 weeks.

I worked the day before I gave birth both times. Working from home at that point, but still. I however did not have the leave you did. Had I, I would've taken off starting at 41 weeks.

[Anonymous]

OMG go on mat leave at 40 weeks no question! Not only do you need to rest up and prepare for labor, you need to get into a good head space to relax and open up for labor to begin.

You have a lot of mat leave lined up, an extra week or two isn't going to make or break your experience.

By the way, there are a lot of factors besides family history that influence when the baby comes. And you can start doing things at 39 weeks like nipple stimulation, membrane sweep, etc. Start drinking red raspberry leaf tea now!

[Anonymous]

I worked until I gave birth and I would do that again if I have another. The discomfort of being pregnant is nothing compared to the exhaustion of dealing with a baby especially a difficult baby. I had a difficult baby that would not sleep and had reflux issues. Going back to work was extremely hard. I would not have traded a week of maternity leave for a week of rest before she was here.

[Anonymous]

I worked until my due date. It was helpful to have a stop date in order to transition projects. Also, I had a coworker whose water broke at work and I was afraid of the same thing happening to me. She handled it well but I think I would have freaked out. I ended up being induced at 41 weeks and 1 day. During my week off, I finished the nursery, made freezer meals, went on dates with DH, and caught up on sleep. I would set a date if I were you and then just relax until the baby comes so you can rest up.

[Anonymous]

I worked from home starting at 39 weeks and it was perfect for me. I wound up going into labor a few days later so I only had a few days of working from home - and at that point I had handed over most of my work so was just doing lighter stuff anyway. I sent an email the morning I went into labor to HR to start my leave. So that way I didn’t “waste” a single leave day before labor/the baby arrived. But I didn’t have 6 months! Even so, I’d work from home if you aren’t already or start taking half days. Or set you leave to start on the last Friday before you turn 40 or 41 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Worked until baby came for all three kids (Well, that is the plan for DD3). DD1 I went to a doctor appointment and just never came back. Was only 38 weeks but was induced. Next time I prepared at 36 weeks for transition of work (delivered at 37 weeks) but was prepared to work until delivery. I agree with 6 months leave a few days won’t make a difference so you could pick a date and the go off. Without COVID I would have said - go get massages, get nails done, get a nice haircut because you won’t get one for like 3 years (ha!), go to the gym, nap, meet a friend for lunch. So having a few chill days / weeks would be great. With COVID, I don’t imagine doing those things, so it may feel wasted if it is more that a few days.

Can you shift your work schedule? If you can nap for an hour or two during the day and then work at night when you can’t sleep? Not ideal but something. You could also take one or two days of PTO each week for the next few weeks. So work 4 days a week and use the 5th day for catch up. I assume you have weekly dr appointments now, so whatever day those are, take the whole day. Yes, you burn a little leave but you might feel better / refreshed doing it.