DC vs Virginia vs Maryland for gay families — any big differences to be aware of?

[Anonymous]

I am asking specifically about laws. For context we are a lesbian couple working on starting a family. I’ve heard multiple times that the best place to conceive, give birth, and live as a gay family is DC, followed by Maryland, followed by Virginia.

My question is — why? What are the specific differences in the law that we need to be aware of? We are looking at buying a place and want to know if it really does make a big difference.

[Anonymous]

My downtown Silver Spring block has at least three lesbian-headed families with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My downtown Silver Spring block has at least three lesbian-headed families with kids.

Lesbian-armed and lesbian-legged, probably also

[Anonymous]

DC has one of the best administrative processes for two moms/and or all kinds of unmarried parents to register the birth of their child. You can file an acknowledgment of parentage when the baby is born, which is signed off on by a judge. This document is subject to the full faith and credit clause, unlike a birth certificate. Most people will tell you to still do a 2nd parent adoption, but until that happens the non-biological parent already has standing.

When I had my daughter, the 2nd parent adoption process in MD was okay. They sent all 2nd parent adoptions through Baltimore City family court, no social worker evaluation required, many of the other adoption requirements waived, but we still had to get letters of support, provide medical and financial records, and fill out extensive questions.

No idea what happens in VA, but these differences definitely matter. I live in a very blue state where you have to place and advertisement in the paper for the anonymous donor of your kid, so they can show up in court and try to claim the child.

If I were you, I'd do a consult with one of the local queer family lawyers and get the specifics. We worked with Jennifer Fairfax (she works in MD and DC but not VA-I think).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC has one of the best administrative processes for two moms/and or all kinds of unmarried parents to register the birth of their child. You can file an acknowledgment of parentage when the baby is born, which is signed off on by a judge. This document is subject to the full faith and credit clause, unlike a birth certificate. Most people will tell you to still do a 2nd parent adoption, but until that happens the non-biological parent already has standing.

When I had my daughter, the 2nd parent adoption process in MD was okay. They sent all 2nd parent adoptions through Baltimore City family court, no social worker evaluation required, many of the other adoption requirements waived, but we still had to get letters of support, provide medical and financial records, and fill out extensive questions.

No idea what happens in VA, but these differences definitely matter. I live in a very blue state where you have to place and advertisement in the paper for the anonymous donor of your kid, so they can show up in court and try to claim the child.

If I were you, I'd do a consult with one of the local queer family lawyers and get the specifics. We worked with Jennifer Fairfax (she works in MD and DC but not VA-I think).

Do you know if acknowledgment of parentage is based on where you live or where baby is born? Can we live in MD but give birth in DC and then get that benefit?

[Anonymous]

Maryland was the first state by popular vote to back same sex marriage. Virginia has come a long way but Maryland courts are very pro lgbt. Maybe not as much as dc but they are light years ahead of Virginia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC has one of the best administrative processes for two moms/and or all kinds of unmarried parents to register the birth of their child. You can file an acknowledgment of parentage when the baby is born, which is signed off on by a judge. This document is subject to the full faith and credit clause, unlike a birth certificate. Most people will tell you to still do a 2nd parent adoption, but until that happens the non-biological parent already has standing.

When I had my daughter, the 2nd parent adoption process in MD was okay. They sent all 2nd parent adoptions through Baltimore City family court, no social worker evaluation required, many of the other adoption requirements waived, but we still had to get letters of support, provide medical and financial records, and fill out extensive questions.

No idea what happens in VA, but these differences definitely matter. I live in a very blue state where you have to place and advertisement in the paper for the anonymous donor of your kid, so they can show up in court and try to claim the child.

If I were you, I'd do a consult with one of the local queer family lawyers and get the specifics. We worked with Jennifer Fairfax (she works in MD and DC but not VA-I think).

I believe it is open to all families having babies in DC, since the birth would be registered in DC.

Do you know if acknowledgment of parentage is based on where you live or where baby is born? Can we live in MD but give birth in DC and then get that benefit?

[Anonymous]

Jennifer Fairfax is licensed in VA as is her law partner, Catelyn Slattery. They work as a team so you can always reach one of them. Both are in all three jurisdictions.