What are you doing if you live across the country from your parents?

[Anonymous]

I’m struggling with what to do with my parents across the country. I haven’t seen them in almost a year and I thought I’d be ok with that, but with daycare possibly not being available to my 3 year old and DH possibly having to go back to the office at the end of summer, I’m starting to waver.

I feel like I might be safer in my parents’ state and I feel like my 3 year old is struggling with not socializing. My health has declined and my anxiety and stress related conditions have flared up. But I’m worried about the flight to get there. And I’m worried about passing the virus to my parents, who are in their early 60s, but admittedly very active and healthy. My mom says to come any time. My dad is still working every day.

If you have parents who don’t live within a day’s drive, what are you doing?

[Anonymous]

We are thinking of driving across country to visit. We call daily.

[Anonymous]

We are not visiting with our families. It sucks.

That said, if there’s no school in the fall we’re thinking about renting a house near my IL’s, driving there, quarantining for 2 weeks, and then creating a bubble/pod with them.

Would love to do that with my family but my parents are older, less active, less helpful, and have a lot of health challenges as it is.

[Anonymous]

We are not going. My parents are older but active and keep trying to think of any way we can get there. We can’t risk the travel and bringing something to them this summer.

[Anonymous]

Not seeing them and it sucks. Can’t even get FaceTime going. Making do with phone calls

[Anonymous]

In your case, Isince your parents fall just outside the risk group 65 & up and since they are healthy/active, I would visit if I thought I was taking every precaution.

Mine are 10-20 years older and one with a preexisting condition, I feel like we need to treat the one with a preexisting condition like Bubble Boy and are not getting close.

[Anonymous]

I would go in your situation. I would bring hand sanitizer and wear masks, but I would fly there.

[Anonymous]

I haven't seen my parents (75) , who live in Northern California, since August. They are not willing to fly here and we are not willing to fly there. I am definitely not doing a week-long drive to California with two kids ages 4 and 6. They live in the middle of nowhere, in a house filled with breakables, with no toys and nothing to do for my kids. They don't live near any family either. They are not involved Grandparents and their idea of a good visit is the kids watching TV while they are on their ipads. There would be nothing for us to do if we were to stay with them for awhile. Even when we go for a week during spring break normally we are bored after a few days.

I don't think we'll be able to see each other until next summer probably. Maybe even longer than that. It sucks but I don't see an alternative. They are the ones who chose to move away and retire out there, knowing full well that it would be incredibly difficult for us to go out and see them there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would go in your situation. I would bring hand sanitizer and wear masks, but I would fly there.

+1. And consider going sooner rather than later. My college kids have been flying, they have apartments across the country, and the planes are still relatively empty. One of them flew on a Sunday evening last week and had the entire back of the plane to himself.

[Anonymous]

My parents, who are in their 80s but in good shape, are flying East in July to spend August at the family beach house where my family and my sister's family will be. Everyone but my parents are nervous about this but my parents are so bored and so miss their family that they are willing to risk it. When I suggested that we stay in separate houses, my mom wouldn't hear of it. Basically, she would rather die having seen her kids and grandkids than not seeing them at all in the foreseeable future.
I am much much more afraid of us infecting them than vice versa.
My in-laws are travelling here right before then. We plan to do a full quarantine for 6 days, get tested, then tell them to come (or not) as soon as we have the results. After that, we head to the beach so hopefully, all will be clear.

[Anonymous]

My folks are in California. As of now, I am planning to fly out for two weeks in August with DS. We will most likely not stay with my parents but have socially distanced visits in the back yard. It defeats the purpose of giving me some relief while trying to work and watch DS but at least I'll get to see them. My parents are 80 and while they are youthful and in good shape, my mom had a very serious cancer scare so I'm not ok with not seeing them.

My other approach is trying to convince DH that it's time to move out there.

[Anonymous]

My parents are a 10hr drive away and we haven't seen them since January. Lots of Facetiming, probably 4 or 5 times per week sometimes for an hour or more when normally it's about twice per week. They live near my sister and her family who are not being responsible at social distancing and so my parents have to keep cutting off contact as they are in their 70s and my dad in particular is high risk.

I don't know how long it will be before we feel safe visiting in person.

[Anonymous]

My parents are in Colorado, I am going to see how July shakes out an maybe go in mid-August. If school is all online I may go during the school year and rent a house for a month.

[Anonymous]

It is probable there might be new restrictions towards the end of summer because of renewed viral spread as states reopen.

So if you want to travel, it's best to do so sooner rather than later, whether it's just a short visit or a visit that could possibly extend for months. Consider where it would be best to stay long-term, all of you at your parents', or all of you here.

Travel will become progressively riskier throughout the summer and fall. That's my point.

[Anonymous]

My parents are in California. Kids and I flew out last week. Easiest airport experience in a long time. No regrets.