14 months pp, episiotomy repair. Yes they can stitch too much.

[Mjenae]

Thought I’d share this experience here, in case anyone else out there is seriously struggling. After 14 months, I was still having a horrendously horrible time with sex. It was extremely painful at entry. 99% of the time we weren’t able to finish it was so bad. I had talked to multiple OBs and been checked two separate times for something wrong, and got half-answers each time. They blamed my breastfeeding, said PP Pain up to A year after birth was normal, and told me to try extra lube. FTM, so I had no idea what kind of pain was normal. Was I being a complete wimp?

Long story short, I finally met with an OB who immediately identified too much stitching near the opening.. She said she could get me in for in in-office repair ASAP. Two weeks later I was in the office for a fairy painless 30-minute procedure that involved an episiotomy, and restitching. Recovery was very reminiscent of those first weeks after labor. After 6 weeks, we got the green light, and our sex life is back pain free. Seriously the biggest relief.

Happy to talk this through with anyone facing a similar circumstance. Making the decision to do the repair was not easy, but I am extremely happy that I did.

[Anonymous]

So glad you kept looking for an answer and are feeling better!

[Anonymous]

Sorry you went through this, and glad you got it addressed. There is unfortunately a non-zero chance that stitching was intentional to "help" your sex life, aka the husband stitch. Obstetrics is very backward about so many things, as you've found when trying to get this issue resolved.

Very glad you're feeling better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry you went through this, and glad you got it addressed. There is unfortunately a non-zero chance that stitching was intentional to "help" your sex life, aka the husband stitch. Obstetrics is very backward about so many things, as you've found when trying to get this issue resolved.

Very glad you're feeling better.

This is so gross. Is there no malpractice recourse?

[Anonymous]

Old school OBs have been known to give an extra stitch aka the husband stitch. OP, was your doctor older or male? I would sue personally.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for sharing this. I’m sorry you went through it, OP! But to those posters with the wrong idea, just because it needed to be redone is not a case for med mal or a sign the doctor was not competent. And for the record, med mal cases related to birth are extremely difficult to get any lawyers to take unless the infant or mother died or was severely and permanently injured.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for sharing this. I’m sorry you went through it, OP! But to those posters with the wrong idea, just because it needed to be redone is not a case for med mal or a sign the doctor was not competent. And for the record, med mal cases related to birth are extremely difficult to get any lawyers to take unless the infant or mother died or was severely and permanently injured.

Then she should take it to the hospital, the press and three board. I'm sorry but if a doctor took it upon themselves to add an unnecessary stitch that caused PAIN and necessitated a corrective procedure then I would expect some sort of consequences for that.

[Anonymous]

There is no interest in med malpractices in birth injury because of patriarchy and the fact that we have been told this is normal. Our sexuality does not matter as much as our ability to deliver children. Until we rise up against these people, we and all our daughters are screwed. Take it from someone with birth trauma. Nobody cares. Nothing changes.

[Anonymous]

PP you are clearly not aware of how often women have issues with their perineal stitches. I had to get restitched
When I popped stitches. Many women need silver nitrite to remove scar tissue. Restitching is not uncommon and it’s not a reason for going to the press FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP you are clearly not aware of how often women have issues with their perineal stitches. I had to get restitched
When I popped stitches. Many women need silver nitrite to remove scar tissue. Restitching is not uncommon and it’s not a reason for going to the press FFS.

You're confusing two different issues. Of course if it was routine that's a separate issue. Posters here are talking about the husband stitch which is a very real thing and often done without a woman's consent.

[Anonymous]

Yes but everyone here is assuming the OP got the husband stitch intentionally with zero evidence that that’s what happened.

[Mjenae]

Hey all, OP here. Thanks for the feedback and the concern. It was a frustrating ordeal. I talked with the OB who did my repair quite a bit about it. She had no connection to the doctor who performed the original stitch. She did imply that she believed carelessness or poor education was involved for something to the extent of my stitch to occur, but also explained how swollen a woman is after birth. She said it is not always obvious how to restitch some of those tears when the patient is so swollen, and without having been in the room, there is no way to know for sure what happened.. The truth is, we LOVED the OB who delivered our baby. He was A young guy, very personable, very careful about making sure I felt I was in control and understood every step of the labor. I’m not interested in attempting to prove in court that what he did was intentional or even malpractice, as I myself am far from convinced that was the case.

I think my big takeaway here was that you have to advocate for yourself. The fact that it was 14 months before someone told me what might actually be wrong is infuriating, and caused something that could have been a quick fix to affect my life dramatically for a year and a half. You know your body, and if something doesn’t feel right, don’t take no for an answer. I wish I had pushed harder earlier for an answer.

[Anonymous]

Mjenae wrote:Hey all, OP here. Thanks for the feedback and the concern. It was a frustrating ordeal. I talked with the OB who did my repair quite a bit about it. She had no connection to the doctor who performed the original stitch. She did imply that she believed carelessness or poor education was involved for something to the extent of my stitch to occur, but also explained how swollen a woman is after birth. She said it is not always obvious how to restitch some of those tears when the patient is so swollen, and without having been in the room, there is no way to know for sure what happened.. The truth is, we LOVED the OB who delivered our baby. He was A young guy, very personable, very careful about making sure I felt I was in control and understood every step of the labor. I’m not interested in attempting to prove in court that what he did was intentional, as I myself am far from convinced that was the case.

I think my big takeaway here was that you have to advocate for yourself. The fact that it was 14 months before someone told me what might actually be wrong is infuriating, and caused something that could have been a quick fix to affect my life dramatically for a year and a half. You know your body, and if something doesn’t feel right, don’t take no for an answer. I wish I had pushed harder earlier for an answer.

Thanks for the update! Where did you give birth?

[Anonymous]

Has husband comment on any "difference"?

[Mjenae]

Holy Cross SS, I was with Kaiser.