If you are high risk and have little kids...
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Anonymous
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How are you managing this and not getting too discouraged? Very high risk here due to a rare condition that I’m pretty private about. Day to day I’m totally healthy and you’d never know I’m anything other than a fit 30 year old but extremely high risk to die from COVID. Have a preschooler and baby and a spouse working 70 hour weeks from home, and zero help. Afraid to hire any help or see anybody because I simply can’t risk exposure. Trying to figure out a few safe ways to see friends while cases are lower in the summer, like walking outside 6 feet apart. But no normal socializing or sending to preschool or anything until better treatment or vaccine. I feel sad and guilty for my social butterfly preschooler. And tired from now 3 months of thinking up enriching activities and being the playmate with no end in sight. Some friends I’ve opened up to have been awesome and supportive, but seeing that others are borderline COVID-deniers is really hard on me. And I feel sad to see my friend group resuming socializing together and afraid that all the friendships I’ve worked so hard to build here (we have no local family) will die of neglect as everyone else resumes hanging out and we can’t.
Anyone else? |
Anonymous
| Are you working? |
Anonymous
Doesn’t sound like it. Most people aren’t doing 6 ft play dates or mask wearing with friends so you will have a hard time finding someone willing to do that wit you. |
Anonymous
| At some point you need to move on with your life. Covid will always be out there. Wash hands, wear gloves, wear a mask and go out. |
Anonymous
OP should appreciate that she can spend time enriching with her kid rather than us high risk working parents who have to plop them in front of an iPad to work and fight with work about being called in for work that could easily be done remotely. |
Anonymous
| where do you live? maybe my teenagers can help with your kids? I think I had the virus--tho I haven't been able to be tested (and the antibody tests are still not reliable) and for the summer, maybe my teens (or others you can find?) can play with your toddler outside? with picnic lunches? you should also keep up on line with friends (and maybe be more honest with a few closer ones about your risk?) Hang in there! |
Anonymous
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I have a friend who's in a very similar situation to you. She's been very open both in person and on FB about the sadness and the fear and the frustration and the guilt about her kids not being able to do anything just to protect her. As soon as she shares any of that, dozens of friends pipe up and all ask her to call or zoom or get together outside at a distance. I offered her our pool and she came over with her prek daughter and they spent hours and her daughter said it was the "best day ever". They have come over a few times after that to use the pool and I keep my kids inside and away while she and I talk from a distance.
I know that my friend is generally pretty private about her health but she's also found that by opening up and sharing what she's going through there are many of us who want to support her and are happy to help come up with ways to do it. |
Anonymous
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Hi OP, can you give yourself a weeklong break from enriching activities? Use lots of screen time for the 3 yr old when baby is napping and do something you want to do (hobby or interest). You can go back to your regular schedule and reduce the screen time next week.
Also, plan some at-home date nights with DH after the kids are asleep, connect with friends via phone or online as much as possible. |
Anonymous
| I’m a SAHM. I realize I’m very lucky. But I had PPD with the baby and my spouse works very long hours (reducing them isn’t an option) so this is a hard time. My kids are both bad sleepers (yes, we’ve tried all the methods and seen the doctor and they’re just challenging). So I’m tired. I’ve worked really hard to get myself a good support system and community and it’s hard to be without that indefinitely. |
Anonymous
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Anyone who would dump you as a friend under these circumstances isn't really a friend. Anyone you don't feel comfortable telling about your health problem also isn't really a friend. I also have an underlying condition, although perhaps not as serious as yours, so I understand the fear. But I've started doing a few things -- let my kids resume their sports practice because it's very important to them, I go to the store sometimes, kid got a haircut, etc. But we won't socialize -- we're a family of introverts, so I don't find that particularly difficult. But we will give up other things that are important to us like visiting family, etc. I think you just have to hang in there and then assess risk for yourself. I've realized that this might always be a risk for me and that, yes, it could kill me. But we can't stay locked up forever because there are serious consequences
of that too. |
Anonymous
| Join the club. My kids haven't seen friends in 3 months. They haven't been more than 10 minutes from our house. It sucks, but you're in good company. I don't know of many who have help. I'm up at 3 every morning to get some uninterrupted time to get work done. Count your blessings that you don't have to juggle work and childcare. |
Anonymous
Same exact situation with us, OP, except it’s my child with the condition. I definitely have my days of exhaustion and discouragement but have accepted that this is our life for the foreseeable future. I definitely do it one week at a time - scheduling stuff for us to do and sending for supplies the week before. I can handle a week at a time. We’re also both learning a new language online which is fun. Please don’t feel guilty as you you did nothing to bring this on yourself. In a weird way, I think this is good for our children. |
Anonymous
| Read the Little House on the Prairie books or watch the show, and appreciate how good you have it from just 100 years ago. They would be an isolated family in the wilderness without seeing anyone for months, with fear of wolf or bear attacks, and spend all their days basically prepping food for the winter. |
Anonymous
| One of our 3 kids is very high risk, so we’re continuing to isolate as well. Our other kids are still fine with it for now... but I have a feeling it’s going to be tough once our oldest (11) realizes his friends are back to normal. Youngest is a preschoolers, so keeping him home next year will be a tough decision, but at the same time, keeping our middle healthy and alive has to be our top priority. We miss friends and family - I miss target and Starbucks and margaritas with my girlfriends! It feels extra isolating to watch the world go back to normal while we still hunker down. |
Anonymous
I have been thinking about Little House on the Prairie a lot during this as well. I know that some people keep going back to WWII, but I keep thinking about the Ingalls family alone in the wilderness with kids running wild. |