Mom upset about birthday mail

Anonymous
Today is my mom’s birthday. I didn’t send a card for her to receive in the mail today because tomorrow, she’s coming over for a BBQ dinner of favorite foods and dessert, where she will receive cards and gifts. I didn’t think I needed to send two cards because we’d be seeing her so soon after her birthday, but now she’s disappointed and sad, her words. I just can’t win. Was I wrong and an apology is in order? Or learn from this and move on.
Anonymous
OP, my mom also really loves multiple cards. It feels excessive to me, but it makes her happy so I mail even if she’s getting one in person. If this isn’t normal behavior for your mom, I might chalk it up to everyone being a little extra irritable with all that’s going on in the world right now.
Anonymous
This sounds super high maintenance.

Is this what you’ve always done in the past? Next year don’t plan a dinner, just send a card in the mail. I could not handle this level of drama in my life.

Anonymous
Your mom is brat, but of course you know this.
Anonymous
Does she always send a card if she won't see someone on the day?
Anonymous
I would have sent a happy birthday text and in it also included "Can't wait to see you tomorrow and shower you with your favorite foods, gifts and cards!"

Then she'd KNOW it was coming.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I would have sent a happy birthday text and in it also included "Can't wait to see you tomorrow and shower you with your favorite foods, gifts and cards!"

Then she'd KNOW it was coming.


If the mom is planning to come to OP’s house for a birthday dinner, she knows it’s coming. She just wanted more attention which is bratty and annoying.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:This sounds super high maintenance.

Is this what you’ve always done in the past? Next year don’t plan a dinner, just send a card in the mail. I could not handle this level of drama in my life.



This is exactly how I would handle it. Only a mailed card going forward. This kind of behavior from an adult is absolutely ridiculous.
Anonymous
You're not wrong, op. Pps have given good suggestions.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Today is my mom’s birthday. I didn’t send a card for her to receive in the mail today because tomorrow, she’s coming over for a BBQ dinner of favorite foods and dessert, where she will receive cards and gifts. I didn’t think I needed to send two cards because we’d be seeing her so soon after her birthday, but now she’s disappointed and sad, her words. I just can’t win. Was I wrong and an apology is in order? Or learn from this and move on.


I hope you at least called her to acknowledge.
Anonymous
She sounds like my parents. They are very high-maintenance, especially about petty things like that.

I’m really sorry, OP. I know how draining it is being the child of someone like that.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Today is my mom’s birthday. I didn’t send a card for her to receive in the mail today because tomorrow, she’s coming over for a BBQ dinner of favorite foods and dessert, where she will receive cards and gifts. I didn’t think I needed to send two cards because we’d be seeing her so soon after her birthday, but now she’s disappointed and sad, her words. I just can’t win. Was I wrong and an apology is in order? Or learn from this and move on.


I hope you at least called her to acknowledge.


This. If you did not acknowledge her birthday today then I could see her getting hurt.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Today is my mom’s birthday. I didn’t send a card for her to receive in the mail today because tomorrow, she’s coming over for a BBQ dinner of favorite foods and dessert, where she will receive cards and gifts. I didn’t think I needed to send two cards because we’d be seeing her so soon after her birthday, but now she’s disappointed and sad, her words. I just can’t win. Was I wrong and an apology is in order? Or learn from this and move on.


I hope you at least called her to acknowledge.


This. If you did not acknowledge her birthday today then I could see her getting hurt.

I called first thing this morning, had kids FaceTime.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Today is my mom’s birthday. I didn’t send a card for her to receive in the mail today because tomorrow, she’s coming over for a BBQ dinner of favorite foods and dessert, where she will receive cards and gifts. I didn’t think I needed to send two cards because we’d be seeing her so soon after her birthday, but now she’s disappointed and sad, her words. I just can’t win. Was I wrong and an apology is in order? Or learn from this and move on.


I hope you at least called her to acknowledge.


This. If you did not acknowledge her birthday today then I could see her getting hurt.

I called first thing this morning, had kids FaceTime.


OP, you've done enough. I wouldn't even discuss it. Ignore her grievance and celebrate as planned.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Today is my mom’s birthday. I didn’t send a card for her to receive in the mail today because tomorrow, she’s coming over for a BBQ dinner of favorite foods and dessert, where she will receive cards and gifts. I didn’t think I needed to send two cards because we’d be seeing her so soon after her birthday, but now she’s disappointed and sad, her words. I just can’t win. Was I wrong and an apology is in order? Or learn from this and move on.


I hope you at least called her to acknowledge.


This. If you did not acknowledge her birthday today then I could see her getting hurt.

I called first thing this morning, had kids FaceTime.


At this point I would be tempted to cancel the birthday dinner. Your mom is being an ungrateful brat. (I probably wouldn’t cancel though bc I’d feel bad. But definitely stop planning nice things for her if that’s how she’s going to act!)
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